Post - wedding message ... please help me, what the hell do I say??

(1020 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

Puzzledandpissedoff Fri 06-May-16 12:28:13

I recently attended an ex-colleague's wedding where, in response to a request for cash gifts, I sent what I thought was a pretty decent cheque (£100 if it matters, though I can't help feeling it shouldn't)

Last night I received an email which opened with a few comments about how glad they were to see everybody and how generous they'd all been, then said "we were surprised that your contribution didn't seem to match the warmth of your good wishes on our big day. In view of your own position, if you wanted to send any adjustment it would be thankfully received"

For someone who's not easily shocked I confess I'm utterly gobsmacked by this. So as not to drip feed I'll mention that "your own position" probably refers to a recent inheritance I've had, which maybe they expected something from (and this is an ex-colleague, remember, not a close friend or relative)

Please, anyone, what do I do now? I've never come across anything like this before and still can't quite believe they've done it - but since they have, should I reply, ring them, ignore it or what??

OP’s posts: |
Mrsmorton Fri 06-May-16 12:29:25

Tell them to get to fuck and drop them from your phone book. Ungrateful twats.

January87 Fri 06-May-16 12:29:45

I would not justify it with a reply. Fucking hell how rude.

Mrsmorton Fri 06-May-16 12:29:52

Or just ignore them. Probably more grown up...

OrangePeels Fri 06-May-16 12:30:07

shock did they even say thank you? Wtaf? Tell them to scrap the cheque and you'll send a replacement more befitting. Then send them 10p.

bearhug Fri 06-May-16 12:30:35

is it too late to cancel the cheque you gave them?

pinkpeter1 Fri 06-May-16 12:31:04

Cancel the Cheque, then post their email on facebook


LifeIsChaos Fri 06-May-16 12:31:05

shock I'd reply something along the lines of 'if our gift to you offended you in someway, please feel free to return it'

Cheeky cow!

DrE678 Fri 06-May-16 12:31:10

My adjustment would be cancelling the cheque! Cheeky bastards! Did they cash the cheque yet?

Thegirlinthetrousers Fri 06-May-16 12:31:16

That's incredible! Personally your adjustment should be to cancel the cheque..though I guess it's been cashed !

CMOTDibbler Fri 06-May-16 12:31:17

I'd cancel the cheque and tell them to fottfsof. Twats.

edwinbear Fri 06-May-16 12:31:27

I would also cancel the cheque if possible, ignore and delete them.

LifeIsChaos Fri 06-May-16 12:31:56

And yes cancel the cheque if you can

JuneBuggy Fri 06-May-16 12:32:08

I like OrangePeels suggestion. You could include a handmade pamphlet on manners too.

YANBU, they are and fucking rude too

Brainwashed Fri 06-May-16 12:32:12

If they hadn't already cashed your very generous cheque I'd be stopping it ...

Lemonade1 Fri 06-May-16 12:32:12

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Lweji Fri 06-May-16 12:32:14

""I am surprised that my contribution didn't seem to match your expectations. In view of the rudeness of your post-wedding request, if you want to send me back my gift, it would be thankfully received"

Rosa Fri 06-May-16 12:32:16

from ex colleague to ex friend in one easy move ... Simple. it is very rude, unreasonable . and even if you had given them a fiver they should be grateful.

momb Fri 06-May-16 12:32:21

Whatever the circumstance that is very rude.

As to whether or not the gift was appropriate: did you bowl up with a partner and 6 children and proceed to demolish the buffet and free bar? No? Then £100 is a generous gift to an ex-colleague.

shinynewusername Fri 06-May-16 12:32:26

OMFG. That is extraordinary. I would cancel the cheque if not too late, donate the £100 to charity and send them a screenshot of the donation.

RandomMess Fri 06-May-16 12:32:27


Groovee Fri 06-May-16 12:32:27

Bloody hell, that has to be the most entitled wedding thing I've ever seen!

I'd be replying asking why was £100 not enough? Greedy feckers!

Elledouble Fri 06-May-16 12:32:39


Yes, cancel the cheque and say "good idea!".

BeaArthursUnderpants Fri 06-May-16 12:32:46

I find this difficult to believe.

TheHiphopopotamus Fri 06-May-16 12:33:50

That is so rude!

I agree with everyone else, I'd cancel the cheque. And then send a big fuck you email back.

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