Someone in a work meeting today said 'jizz it up' instead of jazz it up

[MrsBertMacklin]

...and I was the only person who laughed.

That was the highlight of my day. Shit.

[cogitosum]

We use a software called bizagi and I always call it bijazzle! Genuine mistake but brightens many a day!

[Peedie]

A colleague in a team meeting I was in suggested we have a golden shower. Turned out she meant 'thought shower' aka brainstorm.

[SaucyMare]

There a weeping willow called golden shower, i cant handle it with a straight face.

[MrsBertMacklin]

I'd be more embarrassed to say 'thought shower' tbh, sounds like a parody of business jargon!

Did someone have to tell her, or did it dawn slowly?

[Valpollicella]

Mrs I would have pissed myself - kudos for not

I oncw got told to "spunk" something up. nearly bit my own tongue off

[AwkwardSquad]

I once said in a meeting that a (male) colleague could knock one out pretty quickly. I meant that he could make a webpage quickly. I could hear Frankie Boyle in my head as soon as I said it.

[IDismyname]

I was at an auction a few weeks ago with a gf. A large box of china figures came up. It was mainly cats in various poses, different sizes, shapes etc.

Auctioneer (doing 200 lots an hours) titles them "a box of pussies".

We didn't know where to look we were laughing so much. We seemed to be the only ones in the room that found it funny.

[isitsnowingyet]

Oh my that is funny awkwardsquad

All of these are are funny actually, but that really made me laugh

[minkymuskyslyoldstoaty]

my cat has a nickname. my mother has adapted that nickname. she doesn't know about the j word.

mother- 'here jizz, come on jizzy jiz jiz'

[echt]

This is not a gaffe, but there's an iced lolly in Australia called Golden Gaytime, with the catchy tag: "it's hard to have a Gaytime on your own."

So far as I'm aware Australians do not think it's funny.

[MistyMistletoe]

what's the J word as in Jizz?

[MistyMistletoe]

I really don't know ... Mind you I say this as someone who after having a night out with the girls returned to the office next day and asked what a MILF was!

I've led a sheltered life.

[juneybean]

Jizz is sperm

[MistyMistletoe]

Really Thanks ... scurries away...

[MistyMistletoe]

Since when? Just curious June

[OhMyActualDays]

My mum still calls cats "pussy". Show me your pussy is guaranteed a laugh at Christmas!

[OddBoots]

Misty Since I was at school at least and I'm in my mid-thirties so at least 20 years.

[juneybean]

At least a decade, we used it in school

[LittlePhobia]

In a team meeting a few weeks ago my boss drew a diagram on the white board which to me looked exactly like a giant cock.

Cue vigorous sniggering from me and me only

[DeadCert]

I once signed off an email "Kind Retards" instead of "Kind Regards."

I honestly don't understand how that happened as I would never, ever use that word.

Mistake was made all the worse due to the fact that at the time I was working for a learning disability charity. It was horrendous. And the error was pointed out to me by my boss.

I've gone red just recalling it.

[MistyMistletoe]

Thanks June and odd . That one went totally over my head. You learn something nes every day.

[LadyIsabellaWrotham]

Are you sure they didn't say "zhuzh it up" (many other spellings are available) and you misheard?

[spidey66]

I work in a Community Mental Health Team. One of the GPs in the srea is called Dr Giles. Informally we refer to him as Farmer Giles. I was in an important meeting once within another department and accidentally referred to him as Farmer Giles. Cue much laughter, and me all embarrassed going ''Dr Giles, I mean Dr Giles.''

[Iristutu]

KiNd retards


That is the funniest thing I have read for a long time. just spat on iPad