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School report 'code' - which ones have you spotted/do you know about?

(232 Posts)
PacificDogwood Thu 10-Jul-14 20:25:18

Here is my favourite one from when DS2 was 6 (P2 in Scotland):

"DS2 has a very well developed sense of fairness."

Really? I thought, does he? I've never noticed.

Until I realised it translated in to "DS2 feels hard done by very, very easily". That I had noticed grin

Any other examples? Contributions from teachers also welcome wink

cakesonatrain Thu 10-Jul-14 20:51:44

Most definitely not in code, I once got
"cakes seems to spend much of her time watching what I am doing with mine"
(I was bright and bored!)

HoneyDragon Thu 10-Jul-14 20:52:27

My finest report comment (which I love to this day) was

Honeydragon is spasmodically motivated*


*if Honeydragon feels we are teaching something that interests her she will turn up, if not Mr Adams will drop her coursework off at the Queens Head, in the understanding she will hand it in in due course.

QueenofLouisiana Thu 10-Jul-14 20:54:27

X listens carefully to others and thinks before responding= I haven't caught X telling others that there are stupid and know nothing (unlike others in the class).

Spottybra Thu 10-Jul-14 20:56:31

These are good. I have warned dsi's nursery teachers she is spirited and feisty already and I don't want it knocked out of her even if she refuses to participate sometimes. Nothing to do with school and everything to do with putting boys off her when she is older!

DS is getting his first report tomorrow. Lively and eager to join in class discussions will definately not feature. Cheeky, happy and quiet might. Adults don't see his cheeky side until he's really comfortable with them.

TheWildRumpyPumpus Thu 10-Jul-14 20:57:20

I received Ds1's report today.

"Science : DS1 already knew interesting information about most things we looked at this year, which was more than happy to share with the rest of the class"

Another example of "please give someone else a turn" I think!

LadyIsabellaWrotham Thu 10-Jul-14 21:01:15

DS got "he is able to recall detailed facts on a variety of scientific matters, which he often enthusiastically shares with the class during discussion times"...subtext...."whether or not they want to hear it, or it is relevant to the day's lesson"

ElephantsNeverForgive Thu 10-Jul-14 21:02:00

Beyond hope = somehow, despite her doing no work for three years and not handing in a single completed HW I find myself still having to write a report for Elephants.

My lovely, long suffering, set one Welsh master.

DD2's German teacher is in much the same position, but he has far less of a sense of humour. He moans and gives out detentions.

LadyIsabellaWrotham Thu 10-Jul-14 21:02:13

X-post with rumpypumpus, who is clearly mother to DS's twin.

eltsihT Thu 10-Jul-14 21:03:39

For lazy I write, x can work well on their own or in small groups when they choose to.

Someone who shouts out. Is very keen to join in class discussions

But tbh I only write thing like that when it's not a big issue, if it's a problem I spell it out. X often disrupts class, we are working on this together and there are small improvements which I would encourage them to develop.

I am watching this to help me spice up my reports

EverythingCounts Thu 10-Jul-14 21:05:01

DS got a good report overall but there was a 'is just getting to grips with..' which I read as 'can't get the hang of at all'.

WhereBeThatBlackbirdTo Thu 10-Jul-14 21:07:48

I got 'Blackbird hides her light under a bushell' once, from a much hated history teacher!

BravePotato Thu 10-Jul-14 21:08:21

"Braveboy is clearly not a linguist" >> is barely literate shock

"Braveboy is an enigma, I have no idea what is going on in his mind" >> means just that, could they not have coded it a bit more nicely?

"Braveboy does not give into peer pressure" >> he just won't work in a group!

"Braveboy has an interesting and different sense of humour. He does not even mind if the other children don't get his jokes" >> your son is a nutter...

BerniceBroadside Thu 10-Jul-14 21:12:27

A well-developed sense of justice - tell tale

Very articulate - never shuts up

Likes to question and challenge - always points out the teacher's errors

Oodlives Thu 10-Jul-14 21:12:43

Dd2 is unique. She certainly is...

ChocolateTeacup Thu 10-Jul-14 21:16:05

DS1: Knowledgeable, Calm & Hardworking!

DS2: Lively, confident and honest!

What does that translate into?

LEMmingaround Thu 10-Jul-14 21:17:58

Dd gets her report next week great thread

ravenAK Thu 10-Jul-14 21:22:33

'Fred is a pleasant, sensible member of the class' - I have no idea who Fred is because he's in the 32-strong class I teach once a week for my 3rd subject. The ones I do know are the ones who ARE unpleasant or silly...

ravenAK Thu 10-Jul-14 21:24:52

Chocolate Teacup - Ds1 cracks on with it & is no bother; ds2 is a right handful grin.

Bigglesfliesundone Thu 10-Jul-14 21:28:30

dd is 'complex' apparently. Any ideas??

IHeartKingThistle Thu 10-Jul-14 21:34:37

raven we were told off in my last school for daring to comment on a child's personality. I managed to sneak 'pleasant' or similar into a few each time and if I did I really, really meant it!

Pico2 Thu 10-Jul-14 21:35:40

This makes me quite sad, I have written plenty of reports and while there are things I have written in code, particularly "child Z has produced some satisfactory work this year", most of what I have written as positives was genuinely positive.

If you try to, you can read negatives between the lines on any report.

That said, I can already see the "won't shut up" comments in DD's nursery records.

Sorry not to be lighthearted, but there are so many lovely children out there who all bring great attributes to the classroom.

IHeartKingThistle Thu 10-Jul-14 21:37:17

Oh and DS got 'X has needed some help to deal with emotions of disappointment' in his nursery report. Yes, we'd noticed the screaming too!

Oldraver Thu 10-Jul-14 21:40:22

My favourite one is 'when on task' translation..he's usually away with the fairies and when he eventually comes back down to this world he works ok

Peaceloveandbiscuits Thu 10-Jul-14 21:42:03

"Has a vivid imagination" - lies

IHeartKingThistle Thu 10-Jul-14 21:42:53

Pico that is a problem. For every kid whose 'lively contributions to class discussions' really means 'won't shut up', there's another that means that actually, they're a lively contributor to class discussions and should be praised for that. But how do you know which one your PFB is? wink

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