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School report 'code' - which ones have you spotted/do you know about?

(232 Posts)
PacificDogwood Thu 10-Jul-14 20:25:18

Here is my favourite one from when DS2 was 6 (P2 in Scotland):

"DS2 has a very well developed sense of fairness."

Really? I thought, does he? I've never noticed.

Until I realised it translated in to "DS2 feels hard done by very, very easily". That I had noticed grin

Any other examples? Contributions from teachers also welcome wink

AMillionNameChangesLater Thu 10-Jul-14 20:32:08

grin

PacificDogwood Thu 10-Jul-14 20:33:34

Come on, then, AMillion, contribute <puts thumbscrews on>

'independent' - will not do as bloody well told
'spirited' - pain in the tonsils

There must be more, surely??

QueenofLouisiana Thu 10-Jul-14 20:35:27

DS is considered a role model by other children= DS leads others into mayhem!
One if my standard lines is "X is always eager to contribute to class discussions"= X has to be reminded that other children want o get a word in at some point this morning.

jaynebxl Thu 10-Jul-14 20:35:59

Exuberant ... Won't calm down!

OutragedFromLeeds Thu 10-Jul-14 20:36:13

Dd is always 'keen to participate in group discussions' and is 'an enthusiastic member of the class' and 'enjoys contributing her ideas'.

In other words, she likes the sound of her own voice and never bloody shuts up.

Mostlyjustaluker Thu 10-Jul-14 20:36:20

Lively - unable to sit in chair and do any work
Child z has produced some satisfactory this year - I can't find any else positive to say about your child. They are lazy and badly behaved but I have to start with a positive.
Polite and quite - has little personality

Fingers crossed nobody recognises these.

PacificDogwood Thu 10-Jul-14 20:37:10

See, that's the kind of stuff I was after grin

PacificDogwood Thu 10-Jul-14 20:38:09

"confident" - a bit prococcious

PacificDogwood Thu 10-Jul-14 20:38:31

Good grief, how many 'c's in 'precocious'?

muffliato Thu 10-Jul-14 20:38:38

Ooh watching with interest. Dd gets her report next week.

QueenofLouisiana Thu 10-Jul-14 20:38:47

X is keen to take on responsibility around the school = X bosses younger children in the playground while being a 'play leader' or X leaps up all the time to volunteer to get the register/ collect photocopying/ open the door in order to avoid working.

I may get banned from the teachers equivalent of the Magic Circle for revealing these grin

PeanutButterAndMarmite Thu 10-Jul-14 20:39:00

Dynamic = noisy little fecker

OutragedFromLeeds Thu 10-Jul-14 20:39:21

That was a crossed post with Queen grin.

MissMillament Thu 10-Jul-14 20:39:34

These are a few I use (secondary teacher)
Frequent contributor to class discussions - never shuts up
Lively member of class - has never stayed in seat for an entire lesson
a very popular pupil with a wide circle of friends - no matter who I sit them next to they will chat
Confident - convinced their opinion is more important than anyone else's

MammaTJ Thu 10-Jul-14 20:39:50

After an activity holiday I got 'Enjoyed the chance to use her leadership skills to great advantage'.

Translation-bossy little madam!

PacificDogwood Thu 10-Jul-14 20:43:00

a very popular pupil with a wide circle of friends

I like that one grin

As a parent (I am not a teacher), I'd really rather not have to do the decoding and would be more than prepared to hear my darling offspring chatted/did not sit still/needed help with concentrating at the task at hand etc.

The only remotely critical comment I have ever read about any of mine (all in primary school still) was along the lines of 'needs to work on his handwriting' - yes, it still is near illegible hmm

WestmorlandSausage Thu 10-Jul-14 20:43:10

I got 'WestmorlandSausage is an enigma.' on a report from my sixth form head of year.

On the one hand its pretty direct... if I was an alternative type student. I wasn't, I was a pretty ordinary, average student who had some extra curricular activities that occasionally meant I didn't get homework in on time. WTAF was she getting at? Any suggestions? Was I actually the the weird kid they couldn't figure out? blush

QueenofLouisiana Thu 10-Jul-14 20:43:27

When written about a NT child: X prefers to work with adult support= I need to sit next to X to get them to put pencil to paper.

AMillionNameChangesLater Thu 10-Jul-14 20:43:46

Sorry!

I have two under three's, but i remember getting

"Million is very enthusiastic" - translated to "she never bloody sits still!

ShatnersBassoon Thu 10-Jul-14 20:43:50

I wish our teachers would write in code. DS1 looks awful on paper grin

PacificDogwood Thu 10-Jul-14 20:45:21

Shatner, that's interesting: so teachers don't have to word everything positively??

It would bloody kill me to not be able to say 'Your PFB needs to learn some manners' grin - yes, I am no loss to the teaching profession!

notnowImreading Thu 10-Jul-14 20:46:16

Is able, with encouragement, to contribute some good ideas to class discussion: tuned in to what we were talking about once in six months and finally answered one question when really, really pushed.

ShatnersBassoon Thu 10-Jul-14 20:46:47

He's been called lazy on more than one report. It's a fair cop, if a little dispiriting...

Archfarchnad Thu 10-Jul-14 20:50:15

Today I was sorting out some old school stuff and found some sort of class-building activity of DD2's class from two years ago - a little handmade booklet where each person in the class, including the two main teachers, had to write something nice about each child. I hadn't seen it before, and it's mortifying.

Teacher 1: I like the way you have an honest and clear way of expressing yourself = you're a bit of a mouthy nightmare
...and how you are friendly and supportive with a sense of fun = you and your mates back each other up when you're making mischief

Teacher 2: I like your sharp-sightedness = you notice it straight away when we screw up
...and your ability to deal with subjects sensitively that most people avoid = there's a very good reason most people avoid them, could you not learn from that?
...and your humorous perspective on things = no, that particular subject is never going to be funny!

<hides face in hands>.

cakesonatrain Thu 10-Jul-14 20:51:44

Most definitely not in code, I once got
"cakes seems to spend much of her time watching what I am doing with mine"
(I was bright and bored!)

HoneyDragon Thu 10-Jul-14 20:52:27

My finest report comment (which I love to this day) was

Honeydragon is spasmodically motivated*

grin

*if Honeydragon feels we are teaching something that interests her she will turn up, if not Mr Adams will drop her coursework off at the Queens Head, in the understanding she will hand it in in due course.

QueenofLouisiana Thu 10-Jul-14 20:54:27

X listens carefully to others and thinks before responding= I haven't caught X telling others that there are stupid and know nothing (unlike others in the class).

Spottybra Thu 10-Jul-14 20:56:31

These are good. I have warned dsi's nursery teachers she is spirited and feisty already and I don't want it knocked out of her even if she refuses to participate sometimes. Nothing to do with school and everything to do with putting boys off her when she is older!

DS is getting his first report tomorrow. Lively and eager to join in class discussions will definately not feature. Cheeky, happy and quiet might. Adults don't see his cheeky side until he's really comfortable with them.

TheWildRumpyPumpus Thu 10-Jul-14 20:57:20

I received Ds1's report today.

"Science : DS1 already knew interesting information about most things we looked at this year, which was more than happy to share with the rest of the class"

Another example of "please give someone else a turn" I think!

LadyIsabellaWrotham Thu 10-Jul-14 21:01:15

DS got "he is able to recall detailed facts on a variety of scientific matters, which he often enthusiastically shares with the class during discussion times"...subtext...."whether or not they want to hear it, or it is relevant to the day's lesson"

ElephantsNeverForgive Thu 10-Jul-14 21:02:00

Beyond hope = somehow, despite her doing no work for three years and not handing in a single completed HW I find myself still having to write a report for Elephants.

My lovely, long suffering, set one Welsh master.

DD2's German teacher is in much the same position, but he has far less of a sense of humour. He moans and gives out detentions.

LadyIsabellaWrotham Thu 10-Jul-14 21:02:13

X-post with rumpypumpus, who is clearly mother to DS's twin.

eltsihT Thu 10-Jul-14 21:03:39

For lazy I write, x can work well on their own or in small groups when they choose to.

Someone who shouts out. Is very keen to join in class discussions

But tbh I only write thing like that when it's not a big issue, if it's a problem I spell it out. X often disrupts class, we are working on this together and there are small improvements which I would encourage them to develop.

I am watching this to help me spice up my reports

EverythingCounts Thu 10-Jul-14 21:05:01

DS got a good report overall but there was a 'is just getting to grips with..' which I read as 'can't get the hang of at all'.

WhereBeThatBlackbirdTo Thu 10-Jul-14 21:07:48

I got 'Blackbird hides her light under a bushell' once, from a much hated history teacher!

BravePotato Thu 10-Jul-14 21:08:21

"Braveboy is clearly not a linguist" >> is barely literate shock

"Braveboy is an enigma, I have no idea what is going on in his mind" >> means just that, could they not have coded it a bit more nicely?

"Braveboy does not give into peer pressure" >> he just won't work in a group!

"Braveboy has an interesting and different sense of humour. He does not even mind if the other children don't get his jokes" >> your son is a nutter...

BerniceBroadside Thu 10-Jul-14 21:12:27

A well-developed sense of justice - tell tale

Very articulate - never shuts up

Likes to question and challenge - always points out the teacher's errors

Oodlives Thu 10-Jul-14 21:12:43

Dd2 is unique. She certainly is...

ChocolateTeacup Thu 10-Jul-14 21:16:05

DS1: Knowledgeable, Calm & Hardworking!

DS2: Lively, confident and honest!

What does that translate into?

LEMmingaround Thu 10-Jul-14 21:17:58

Dd gets her report next week great thread

ravenAK Thu 10-Jul-14 21:22:33

'Fred is a pleasant, sensible member of the class' - I have no idea who Fred is because he's in the 32-strong class I teach once a week for my 3rd subject. The ones I do know are the ones who ARE unpleasant or silly...

ravenAK Thu 10-Jul-14 21:24:52

Chocolate Teacup - Ds1 cracks on with it & is no bother; ds2 is a right handful grin.

Bigglesfliesundone Thu 10-Jul-14 21:28:30

dd is 'complex' apparently. Any ideas??

IHeartKingThistle Thu 10-Jul-14 21:34:37

raven we were told off in my last school for daring to comment on a child's personality. I managed to sneak 'pleasant' or similar into a few each time and if I did I really, really meant it!

Pico2 Thu 10-Jul-14 21:35:40

This makes me quite sad, I have written plenty of reports and while there are things I have written in code, particularly "child Z has produced some satisfactory work this year", most of what I have written as positives was genuinely positive.

If you try to, you can read negatives between the lines on any report.

That said, I can already see the "won't shut up" comments in DD's nursery records.

Sorry not to be lighthearted, but there are so many lovely children out there who all bring great attributes to the classroom.

IHeartKingThistle Thu 10-Jul-14 21:37:17

Oh and DS got 'X has needed some help to deal with emotions of disappointment' in his nursery report. Yes, we'd noticed the screaming too!

Oldraver Thu 10-Jul-14 21:40:22

My favourite one is 'when on task' translation..he's usually away with the fairies and when he eventually comes back down to this world he works ok

Peaceloveandbiscuits Thu 10-Jul-14 21:42:03

"Has a vivid imagination" - lies

IHeartKingThistle Thu 10-Jul-14 21:42:53

Pico that is a problem. For every kid whose 'lively contributions to class discussions' really means 'won't shut up', there's another that means that actually, they're a lively contributor to class discussions and should be praised for that. But how do you know which one your PFB is? wink

PacificDogwood Thu 10-Jul-14 21:44:10

OMG, my interweb broke there shock

Loving all your contributions grin

Likes to question and challenge - always points out the teacher's errors
I often wondered how that particular headache would be expressed!

ravenAK Thu 10-Jul-14 21:45:00

'complex' = usually absolutely fine, able, but occasionally loses her shit for reasons which presumably make sense to her but which she can't articulate?

(I have a complex dd too grin).

DeWee Thu 10-Jul-14 21:45:21

Ds' (year 2) report said "has an old head on a young body". he read this, then I found him looking in the mirror.
"My head is the same age as my body really isn't it? Or does it look older?" grin

StickyFloor Thu 10-Jul-14 21:48:02

We got reports today as follows:

"Stickygirl" always takes her work seriously and wants to do well at everything she tries" : aged 10 why the hell does she still cry everytime she gets stuff wrong?

"Stickygirl is a confident contributor but needs to ensure her comments are concise and relevant" : please put a sock in it once in a while baby

"Stickyboy is impressive when working independently and can join in with his peers when necessary" : he still can't work in a team can he?

PacificDogwood Thu 10-Jul-14 21:49:12

DeWee grin

tumbletumble Thu 10-Jul-14 21:49:26

OMG, I've just read this thread and seen DD's report in a whole new light!

"She is always keen to share her ideas with the class" (three times in the one report, I kid you not!!!) and "She is able to write at length" - clearly she never shuts up, either verbally or in writing!

Boaty Thu 10-Jul-14 21:58:53

A friends DS had on his report that he spent the lesson in a catatonic state but somehow still did well in tests!confused grin

Boaty Thu 10-Jul-14 22:00:24

<goes off to root out DCs old reports> grin

Bigglesfliesundone Thu 10-Jul-14 22:15:18

Raven that is exactly right grin she once yelled the class down as she didn't particularly want to do maths hoping that this would distract the teacher enough to cancel it!

CalamitouslyWrong Thu 10-Jul-14 22:20:42

DS2's report includes 'confident' and 'is a very popular member of the class who always has a friend to play with' (there is no doubt at all that this means 'never shuts up' because he doesn't). But he is also popular and confident so the teacher isn't making it up.

DS1's school reports, on the other hand, scream 'who? Oh, I'll just put something generic'. Apparently he's produced some 'pleasing' work in art (which must be the default comment because he's crap at art). They don't even get to the point of writing in code. In fact, most of them just say what topics they've studied this year with nothing about DS1 at all.

My teachers never wrote in code. My parents were treated to unrelentingly negative reports throughout my primary school career. Back then, teachers could really let parents know that they hated their child.

Pico2 Thu 10-Jul-14 22:21:53

I did once get "Pico's excellent exam result in no way reflects her work throughout the year". I was quite pleased with that.

MammaTJ Thu 10-Jul-14 22:40:06

I want to meet BraveBoy! He sounds great!

PartyGateCrasher Thu 10-Jul-14 22:40:24

Oh shit. DD's report comes out tomorrow. Instead of reading it and thinking how amazing my pfb is, I am now going to be worried the teachers think she is a gobby shite. grin

ilovesooty Thu 10-Jul-14 22:42:46

One of my colleagues years ago wrote about a particularly difficult pupil "N is trying"

He was very proud.

RustyBear Thu 10-Jul-14 22:46:45

I once got from my PE teacher 'Rusty continues to take a little gentle exercise' =usually in the opposite direction to where the action is...

AmeliaToppingLovesShopping Thu 10-Jul-14 22:58:00

DD2's last report

Teacher "DD2 has a strong sense of right and wrong and likes to make it known if she feels another child is breaking the rules"

Head Teacher "DD2 is a popular member of the school"

One of those statements has got to be a lie and I'm putting my money on it being the head teacher

ElephantsNeverForgive Thu 10-Jul-14 23:04:34

Our music master always put 'satisfactory' on everyone's report except the girl with grade 8 piano, who got good.

We ways reckoned he didn't want to see anyone at parents evening.

DD is very puzzled as to how she made a good effort in PHSE, since she's excused to do exta English.

BravePotato Thu 10-Jul-14 23:05:08

That is nice to hear mamaTJ, he is a "marmite child" iykwim

Sarsaparillajones Thu 10-Jul-14 23:09:17

I still remember my report from far too many years ago, which said I had "to learn the difference between opinion and fact"!

I'm still always convinced I'm in the right grin

whathaveiforgottentoday Thu 10-Jul-14 23:12:17

I've used loads of these phrases on here.

On my own personal reports my form teacher wrote the following comment 'I hope whathave's morning yawning is due to over exertion and not down to boredom' Must've been nice to be able to write what you'd actually like to say!

purpleroses Thu 10-Jul-14 23:15:22

DD's best bit this year is "she has a friendship group who respect her opinions and wishes" grin - I presume this translates as "her friends do as she tells them"

She also got "contributes to class discussions with humour" which by her own admission means she cracks jokes that the teacher doesn't always appreciate...

Nousernameforme Thu 10-Jul-14 23:22:25

I got has an unique sense of humour once from a form tutor.
We get the boys report tomorrow I will get one good one and one coded one no doubt ds1 has been loved by every teacher he has ever had. Ds2 hates school and makes no secret of this but we are working on it I am dreading his report

LatinForTelly Thu 10-Jul-14 23:27:48

Not in code at all but my favourite one for DS1 was, as a five year old, 'Latinboy must learn to avoid collisions in PE.' grin

Maryz Thu 10-Jul-14 23:30:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LostInWales Thu 10-Jul-14 23:31:32

DS3's teacher once grabbed me at pick up to mention he was 'quite a character' I pointed out that his father is a teacher so I knew exactly what that meant and she wasn't wrong grin mini Lost is a little bugger in class but I love him so it's fine

TheNightIsDark Thu 10-Jul-14 23:32:18

My PE report was blank one year. My teacher failed to believe I had had a year long period and was unable to take part!

Homebird8 Thu 10-Jul-14 23:32:29

"Homeboy (11) is well-read with a wide world view and unless I am teaching him to be more organised there is no point him being in school" = this is the most frustrating child I have ever met who knows more than me, has learned it in his own time and of his own volition and I will punish him by making him tidy his desk and shouting at him to bring him into line.

Homebird8 Thu 10-Jul-14 23:34:03

Sorry, lighthearted thread and I've exploded. Thanks for ignoring my rant.

Is got in one of my own school reports "Homebird attends". Can't tell if they were relieved or incredulous.

ladygracie Thu 10-Jul-14 23:35:42

I couldn't read my classes individual reports after i'd written them so am worried I repeated myself. There may be a parent wondering why I felt the need to tell them 3 times that they work hard or join in discussions well.
Just to say though - if I say they join in discussions well, it is because they do. It doesn't mean they never shut up at all. It is definitely possible to read too much into reports!

cloutiedumpling Thu 10-Jul-14 23:35:57

I'm off to re-read the DSs' reports. With fresh eyes.

User100 Thu 10-Jul-14 23:40:05

I teach in secondary and have to right UCAS references;
"Very popular and outgoing" = always bloody talks
"X is an able <insert subject> but is yet to reach his/her potential" = bright but needs to do some f***ing work
"Fiercely independent" = tries to teach herself and can't
"Attends most lessons/hands in most homework on time" = doesn't a significant amount of the time

Goldmandra Thu 10-Jul-14 23:46:53

DD is very puzzled as to how she made a good effort in PHSE, since she's excused to do exta English.

We had similar.

"Minigold needs to take a more active role in class discussions".

That means that you have no idea who she is because she's never been timetabled to attend one of your lessons you plank!

I was soooo tempted to go and see him at parents' evening but DD wouldn't let me.

User100 Thu 10-Jul-14 23:50:45

"...has made good progress on his organisational skills this year" = by the end of the year he mostly brought the right books to class

Oblomov Fri 11-Jul-14 00:03:38

can't wait to get the ds's reports. will be reading with newly opened eyes!!

lecherrs Fri 11-Jul-14 00:20:35

I'm a teacher so immediately spotted the code in my DDs report. Unfortunately I fear that having "xx is an enthusiastic and bright pupil who is incredibly excited..." In paragraph one followed by "XX is an excitable and happy member of the class" does not bode well. = does not shut up

Paragraph 2, "xx is an excellent team player but must remember to let everyone have their input" alongside "XX's next steps are to let others lead occasionally" and "xx is developing the skills to problem solve in her friendships" = bossy little madam.

Paragraph 3 "XX thrived as XXXX in our KS1 nativity and I hope more acting opportunities present themselves to her" = drama queen.

So my DD is a bossy little prima Donna who always like to have her own way. But she is also "a pleasure to teach" so she's a likeable bossy little Prima Donna grin

Maryz Fri 11-Jul-14 00:49:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

trinity0097 Fri 11-Jul-14 06:03:32

Best piece I ever got given as a new teacher was to be honest and give specific examples in reports, so I have written (and it cured the problems)...

- x prefers to start the lesson with the bin lid on his head, this is rather distracting for those around him.

- x makes little Britain noises whenever I turn to write something on the board.

The last one was fab, some year 8 kids decided that they wanted to start doing it a week before the reports were going out. I threatened to write it on their reports if they didn't stop, they didn't think I would. Reports went out next day I had 6 apology letters!

AwkwardSquad Fri 11-Jul-14 07:08:49

I had a great one towards the end of high school: 'Awkward would be a leading light of French class. If she showed up.' My mum was dead impressed.

CauldronOfFrogsLegs Fri 11-Jul-14 07:24:19

Love this thread. Can't wait for this years reports. It has ben a ...Ricky...year for ds1! grin

Notquiteallthereyet Fri 11-Jul-14 07:33:04

I remember my first parent teacher meeting 3 month into DD first year of primary schooling (she had just turned six):

I came in, the (brilliant) teacher looked at me and very slowly said:

"Firstname, ..... Firstname Lastname .... a very special character..."

-and I knew I was doomed.

PacificDogwood Fri 11-Jul-14 07:43:55

Homebird, I hear where you are coming from, truly, I do. I hope your DS still 'gets' something out of school? Socially, maybe?

ladygracie, I am actually relieved to hear that not everything is code grin. I am not terribly good at picking up nuances (I need to be told that a spade is a spade) which is why the remark mentioned in my OP puzzled me for a while blush

These are all brilliant - I can almost see all your lovely children in my mind's eye grin.

OwlCapone Fri 11-Jul-14 07:48:06

A lot of the codes are only really noticeable if you know your child well. For the first 5 years of primary, DS1s basically said he was loud, opinionated and doesn't shut up. I knew my son so spotted it immediately!

OwlCapone Fri 11-Jul-14 07:52:14

The secondary school reports seem rather more straightforward "DS2 should bear in mind that clowns prosper only in the circus"

Prettykitty111 Fri 11-Jul-14 08:21:48

I once had in a school report pretty is very charismatic and finds it easy to influence others.
My best friend the same year got prettys friend is easily influenced and should work on making herself heard.
Code we know pretty is the ringleader for all the shit thats happened this year we just can't prove it. Oh and we'll be separating them next year!

Sme of these are brilliant

Homebird8 Fri 11-Jul-14 09:09:01

Thank you so much PacificDogwood. You have no idea how much that meant.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Fri 11-Jul-14 09:11:46

Dd is usually a "very determined child".

hmm

SonorousBip Fri 11-Jul-14 09:31:17

My DS had "cheerful" used several times when in primary. DH and I always suspected it meant "lovely, polite and a weeny bit dim but we like him".

To be fair I did ask one teacher at parents' evening - when she used it again - what she really meant by it and straight off she said "oh, reliably good natured: some of the class are a bit.. erm.. dramatic and he never is".

I still think our interpretation is the correct one smile

PsammeadPaintedTheLion Fri 11-Jul-14 09:42:16

Dd1 has only had one report as such except it was a parent's evening and not written.

They utterly assassinated her. It was all negative. Then at the end her teacher piped up 'mind you, she has excellent posture'.

thepurplepenguin Fri 11-Jul-14 09:44:50

Minipp can also be very helpful around the classroom when he wants to be

Maryz Fri 11-Jul-14 11:29:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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