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School report 'code' - which ones have you spotted/do you know about?

(232 Posts)
PacificDogwood Thu 10-Jul-14 20:25:18

Here is my favourite one from when DS2 was 6 (P2 in Scotland):

"DS2 has a very well developed sense of fairness."

Really? I thought, does he? I've never noticed.

Until I realised it translated in to "DS2 feels hard done by very, very easily". That I had noticed grin

Any other examples? Contributions from teachers also welcome wink

AMillionNameChangesLater Thu 10-Jul-14 20:32:08


PacificDogwood Thu 10-Jul-14 20:33:34

Come on, then, AMillion, contribute <puts thumbscrews on>

'independent' - will not do as bloody well told
'spirited' - pain in the tonsils

There must be more, surely??

QueenofLouisiana Thu 10-Jul-14 20:35:27

DS is considered a role model by other children= DS leads others into mayhem!
One if my standard lines is "X is always eager to contribute to class discussions"= X has to be reminded that other children want o get a word in at some point this morning.

jaynebxl Thu 10-Jul-14 20:35:59

Exuberant ... Won't calm down!

OutragedFromLeeds Thu 10-Jul-14 20:36:13

Dd is always 'keen to participate in group discussions' and is 'an enthusiastic member of the class' and 'enjoys contributing her ideas'.

In other words, she likes the sound of her own voice and never bloody shuts up.

Mostlyjustaluker Thu 10-Jul-14 20:36:20

Lively - unable to sit in chair and do any work
Child z has produced some satisfactory this year - I can't find any else positive to say about your child. They are lazy and badly behaved but I have to start with a positive.
Polite and quite - has little personality

Fingers crossed nobody recognises these.

PacificDogwood Thu 10-Jul-14 20:37:10

See, that's the kind of stuff I was after grin

PacificDogwood Thu 10-Jul-14 20:38:09

"confident" - a bit prococcious

PacificDogwood Thu 10-Jul-14 20:38:31

Good grief, how many 'c's in 'precocious'?

muffliato Thu 10-Jul-14 20:38:38

Ooh watching with interest. Dd gets her report next week.

QueenofLouisiana Thu 10-Jul-14 20:38:47

X is keen to take on responsibility around the school = X bosses younger children in the playground while being a 'play leader' or X leaps up all the time to volunteer to get the register/ collect photocopying/ open the door in order to avoid working.

I may get banned from the teachers equivalent of the Magic Circle for revealing these grin

PeanutButterAndMarmite Thu 10-Jul-14 20:39:00

Dynamic = noisy little fecker

OutragedFromLeeds Thu 10-Jul-14 20:39:21

That was a crossed post with Queen grin.

MissMillament Thu 10-Jul-14 20:39:34

These are a few I use (secondary teacher)
Frequent contributor to class discussions - never shuts up
Lively member of class - has never stayed in seat for an entire lesson
a very popular pupil with a wide circle of friends - no matter who I sit them next to they will chat
Confident - convinced their opinion is more important than anyone else's

MammaTJ Thu 10-Jul-14 20:39:50

After an activity holiday I got 'Enjoyed the chance to use her leadership skills to great advantage'.

Translation-bossy little madam!

PacificDogwood Thu 10-Jul-14 20:43:00

a very popular pupil with a wide circle of friends

I like that one grin

As a parent (I am not a teacher), I'd really rather not have to do the decoding and would be more than prepared to hear my darling offspring chatted/did not sit still/needed help with concentrating at the task at hand etc.

The only remotely critical comment I have ever read about any of mine (all in primary school still) was along the lines of 'needs to work on his handwriting' - yes, it still is near illegible hmm

WestmorlandSausage Thu 10-Jul-14 20:43:10

I got 'WestmorlandSausage is an enigma.' on a report from my sixth form head of year.

On the one hand its pretty direct... if I was an alternative type student. I wasn't, I was a pretty ordinary, average student who had some extra curricular activities that occasionally meant I didn't get homework in on time. WTAF was she getting at? Any suggestions? Was I actually the the weird kid they couldn't figure out? blush

QueenofLouisiana Thu 10-Jul-14 20:43:27

When written about a NT child: X prefers to work with adult support= I need to sit next to X to get them to put pencil to paper.

AMillionNameChangesLater Thu 10-Jul-14 20:43:46


I have two under three's, but i remember getting

"Million is very enthusiastic" - translated to "she never bloody sits still!

ShatnersBassoon Thu 10-Jul-14 20:43:50

I wish our teachers would write in code. DS1 looks awful on paper grin

PacificDogwood Thu 10-Jul-14 20:45:21

Shatner, that's interesting: so teachers don't have to word everything positively??

It would bloody kill me to not be able to say 'Your PFB needs to learn some manners' grin - yes, I am no loss to the teaching profession!

notnowImreading Thu 10-Jul-14 20:46:16

Is able, with encouragement, to contribute some good ideas to class discussion: tuned in to what we were talking about once in six months and finally answered one question when really, really pushed.

ShatnersBassoon Thu 10-Jul-14 20:46:47

He's been called lazy on more than one report. It's a fair cop, if a little dispiriting...

Archfarchnad Thu 10-Jul-14 20:50:15

Today I was sorting out some old school stuff and found some sort of class-building activity of DD2's class from two years ago - a little handmade booklet where each person in the class, including the two main teachers, had to write something nice about each child. I hadn't seen it before, and it's mortifying.

Teacher 1: I like the way you have an honest and clear way of expressing yourself = you're a bit of a mouthy nightmare
...and how you are friendly and supportive with a sense of fun = you and your mates back each other up when you're making mischief

Teacher 2: I like your sharp-sightedness = you notice it straight away when we screw up
...and your ability to deal with subjects sensitively that most people avoid = there's a very good reason most people avoid them, could you not learn from that?
...and your humorous perspective on things = no, that particular subject is never going to be funny!

<hides face in hands>.

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