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Terrible wedding behaviour.

(503 Posts)
WayHarshTai Wed 21-Aug-13 11:44:53

In light of the recent rash of threads about it, I thought we could have a compilation thread to keep them all in one place.

I'll start with my wedding, and my SIL.

We wanted her DS (who was about two and a half) to be a sort of page boy and wear the same style suit as his dad (best man) and the rest of the 'wedding party' including my DS. SIL said no as he woudn't want to wear a suit. And then promptly went out and bought him, that's right, a suit to wear.

She then asked if we could arrange a vegetarian meal for her despite the fact she is not a vegetarian. Which of course we did, although it smacked of 'making life difficult'. And she then managed to take both veggie meals on the day leaving my actual veggie cousin without a meal (still not sure how this happened).

At the ceremony she brought her DS in eating the World's Biggest Icecream™ which he then sat and slurped in his non matching suit all through the vows.

When we got to the venue she moved all the place settings around because she didn't like where she was sitting.

She then got very drunk very quickly, became very loud, heckled the speeches, announced her recent (six months ago) miscarriage to the room and then coralled me for nearly an on the balcony while she cried and told me how awful her life was.

I just found the whole thing quite funny (well, not the crying) and it makes for an interesting story, so if she was trying to ruin things it didn't work.

Anyway, that's my Terrible Wedding Behaviour story, I know you lot have some corkers, so spill.

Geranium45 Fri 23-Aug-13 09:07:32

A punnet of nectarines!! Now I ^am laughing!

Mixxy Fri 23-Aug-13 09:20:38

The Jake the Peg story has me in fits. I'm going to havento text my sister about it because she will collapse laughing. We are horrible people. Dont invite us to your wedding.

ladyjadie Fri 23-Aug-13 09:32:44

Choked when I read "...and a punnet of nectarines" grin

I can leave this thread happy now!

BerylStreep Fri 23-Aug-13 09:49:34

Libra I think MrsKoala has knocked you off the top spot for worst wedding ever.

MyBoysAreFab Fri 23-Aug-13 10:21:56

DH and I went to wedding of a friend of his from uni. Took place in a university hall, very grand gothic, arches, huge fireplaces etc. We didn't really know many people there.

In the evening, there was an elderly lady - granny/great aunt type, who obviously thought she was the life and soul, was dancing all night, giving it laldy, clearly sozzled and showing off. She dragged some poor unsuspecting young man up to dance, was doing over the top dancing, spinning etc, when at one point she made him spin her round and round, he let go of her, and she just kept on spinning, straight into a giant dried flower arrangement in one of the huge fireplaces. I will never forget the sight of her staggering out, covered in dried flowers, she went straight back to the young man and continued dancing.

DH and I were literally screaming with laughter. It is up there as one of the funniest things I have ever seen.

When one of my uni friends got married, they had a ceilidh at night. The dance floor where the reception was held was so highly polished, it was like an ice rink. There were people falling all over the place even trying to walk on it. When the music started, it was carnage.

TattiePants Fri 23-Aug-13 11:36:55

OMG...Punnet of nectarines

Thumbwitch Fri 23-Aug-13 13:34:27

I agree, MrsKoala takes the top spot. Libra's was mostly a catalogue of unfortunacy; MrsK's was made hideous deliberately. sad

notwoo Fri 23-Aug-13 14:38:04

The grandfather of the groom videoed the ceremony but stood literally inches from the bride and groom and hovered the camera right in their faces (getting jn the way of the official photographer who had maintained the respectful distance specified by the church.)

Jollyb Fri 23-Aug-13 15:18:56

A family member is getting married soon. Her SIL to be had the balls to ask if her partner's SIX children could come (in addition to her own 5 child). Neither bride nor groom have ever met said partner.

Pawprint Fri 23-Aug-13 15:24:13

Jolly That story reminds me of an aunt of mine who is a manipulative witch somewhat demanding.

When I got married, the church was very small so we asked people not to bring a guest unless it was their Significant Other.

Aunt and her dh have seven adult children and she was very angry indeed when we told her that they couldn't bring a guest. She wrote to my dad and told her that her children 'thought marriage was an outdated concept' - in other words she was jealous because I was getting the attention on the day and not her family I was stuffy and out of touch.

In the end, most of her kids got into a huff and didn't come anyway. Some years later, most of them are married but not to anyone they were seeing at the time.

Looking back, perhaps I should have just sucked it up and let people bring partners. Ah, well...

Delilahlilah Fri 23-Aug-13 15:36:35

Ours went pretty well, until BIL's gf lost control of her mouth / brain at the Evening Reception. She was drunk and hassling DH about all sorts including a complaint that their invitation to our Engagement Do almost 4 yrs earlier was too short notice- the irony of this was that we didn't know she existed at this point anyway so hasn't actually invited her at all. BIL's friends were telling him he ought to take her home or at least do something bug he was too drunk to notice. I managed to get her away from DH, only for her to start a row with my sister and slag off everything my family had contributed to the wedding.
By this time she had ruined the evening for me. MIL was supposed to keep DS overnight in her hotel room but decided to bring him to ours instead, and then we had to sort out new room keys because BIL and his gf had lost theirs and were being really loud and making a nuisance of themselves in the corridor.
I found out the next morning that she had also been broadcasting personal information relating to DH and myself to other people angry
One of her rants at DH was that they didn't see enough of us, we'll now she certainly doesn't as I avoid her as much as is humanly possible! Why do people think a wedding is an appropriate placd to discuss things? Particularly with the bride / groom!!! Even now I don't trust myself in her company - ooh and, forgot this bit, we married on leap day and she publicly proposed to drunk BIL who said no.....

Floggingmolly Fri 23-Aug-13 15:44:59

He said no!!! That should encourage her to give her gob a rest in future.

WilsonFrickett Fri 23-Aug-13 16:02:54

MyBoys I went to a close family members funeral (no ceilidh obvs) where the floor was like that. I kid you not, at least 20 people slipped over at various points in the day (including me). Was actually a very funny icebreaker. One of my little cousins set himself up as the commentator: 'Here comes Uncle Wilson, he thinks he can tame the floor. Good approach there, holding it together and no - he's over!'

MillicentTendancies Fri 23-Aug-13 16:12:18

I spent my works bonus on a band for our wedding wanting it to be a classy affair.

At the break for the buffettt, some random pissed 15 year old (DHs cousins friend - not invited) stood up and started belting out a horrific rendition of a whitney classic. DH was annoyed I thought it was rather funny.

RegTheMonkey Fri 23-Aug-13 16:15:59

I hope the bride in question isn't reading this. Not my wedding, but my bad behaviour.
My husband's boss was getting married and kindly invited us. It was down in the west country and very posh, old Norman church for the service and then the reception was in the grounds of the bride's parents massive country house. There was a marquee for the actual meal, speeches etc., but first of all we all stood about on the lawn in scorching mid-day summer heat, with liveried flunkies pouring out unlimited Champagne. Your glass was never allowed to be empty, so what with the heat, the long journey, the lack of food, the gallons of champers; I began to feel a bit pissed squiffy.

Eventually in the early evening we were allowed into the marquee, and then there was more unlimited wine. About 10 the disco started and we went back to our hotel to change into less formal clothes. Then at midnight they announced a Hog Roast for those who were still hungry. Up at the hog roast there was a cameraman and everyone was asked to make a wee speech of congratulations to the happy couple (who had by now left to go on their exotic Maldives honeymoon) and the video would be given to them as an extra present when they got back.

Husband managed to say a few words while holding a gigantic plate of roast pork in one hand and a pint of beer in the other. When I came to my turn I could hardly speak, let alone make a speech so I announced to the cameraman that 'I shall express myself through the medium of modern dance' and proceeded to do some kind of sub-Kate Bush/hippy arm waving thing to camera while gurning. Oh the shame. We never did find out what they thought of their wonderful dvd present.

WilsonFrickett Fri 23-Aug-13 16:35:08

Oh GOD Reg that totally reminds me of one of my drunk-fuelled incidents. We were at what was actually a brilliant wedding. The brides sis had a little girl, who was basically the only DC in the extended family, in fact I think she was the only child at the wedding. Very much adored and the apple of everyone's eye.

There was a lot of karaoke at the wedding and this child sang. A lot. She was terrible. However, there was no need at all for me and my friend to express this opinion quite as forcefully as we did on camera as part of the wedding video blush

frizzcat Fri 23-Aug-13 16:51:56

Reg can't stop laughing! grin

Pawprint Fri 23-Aug-13 17:00:30

REG! Love it!

I was bridesmaid at my godmother's wedding. I was 12. The champagne was

Pawprint Fri 23-Aug-13 17:03:01

Oops - the champagne was flowing and I drank at least glasses. I was wasted and ended up falling over and passing out. There is a photo of me, red faced and giggling, in pride of place on my gran's piano.

ourlittlestreet Fri 23-Aug-13 17:41:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

iamamug Fri 23-Aug-13 19:09:29

Best wedding ever - posh affair between 2 good friends that had been together for years.
A LOT of champagne flowing freely .. the starter arrived - lovely smorgasbord that we all helped ourselves to.
The bride had an amazing 'Patsy' style hairdo - very glamorous.
Until she fell asleep face down in her plate... for ages.. and ages..

None of the guests could be served the main course until she woke up. As we were starving, we all picked the smorgasboard clean.

A lot of us took sneaky photos of her face down with lettuce and prawns in her 'do' but thank goodness it was pre facebook so her dignity remains intact!

Absolutely hilarious!

When she woke up, she just pulled the stray bits of food out of hair and we all carried on as if it hadn't happened.

It was like an episode of Absolutely Fabulous - comedy gold.

I still love her to this day,

meganorks Fri 23-Aug-13 20:13:12

Friends wedding. Some friends (a couple and a single guy) arrived late so missed the ceremony and arrived as everyone milling around with welcome drinks. Soon became apparent that the 2 guys were very drunk and had been out till the early hours the night before. They had also been drinking on the way up while the one's wife drove them. Single guy trying to be smooth to ladies but barely understandable.

During the reception there was some shouting and smashing glasses from their table as drinks were spilt over other guests. Eventually one of the ushers (who was friends with them) took single guy outside and tells him he needs to calm down and sober up or he will get kicked out. Single guy gets really angry and aggressive at this suggestion and starts swinging for the usher and punches him. Usher puts him on his arse and they haveto be seperated. All this happens in full view of other guests through big full length glass windows. No one else is anywhere near as drunk as not even on dessert yet (speeches part way through meal). So couple and drunk single guy have to leave again having been there all of 2 hours. Wife who was driving mortified (although at least it wasn't her DH)

Reg grin and the punnet of nectarines win for the funniest - hilarious thread! Though some sad stories too, ESP MrsK and Libra.

Doesn't compare with the above but DM got so posses at DBs wedding that she fell into an ornamental pond with her best mate.

Pissed not posses. Damned autocorrect.

makemineamalibuandpineapple Fri 23-Aug-13 20:32:00

At my wedding to my now (thankfully) ex-husband, his two cousins got drunk and got into a fight in the toilets. One broke the other one's nose. My ex-husband then joined in the fight even though I begged him not to and the police were called. The only reason he wasn't arrested was because one of my friends, who hated him, lied and said he wasn't involved. I was devastated and cried for most of the rest of the evening sad

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