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Memorable poos in inappropriate places..

(172 Posts)
TinyGang Tue 13-Jun-06 15:40:24

Children have no decorum have they?

Poet John Betjeman is a great favourite of mine and I once had the opportunity to visit his house on holiday once. Dd was very young and christened the whole visit - or perhaps expressed her opinion of it - by doing an almighty great pooey nappy and we had to leave smartish as other visitors were surreptitiously sniffing and looking sideways at each other.

I never thought I'd be mentioning the great JB in the same breath as this

We also had a rather unfortunate episode in Osborne House under the austere gaze of Queen Victoria's portrait

You and your kids? Where have they brought you down to earth with a bump in their time honoured way?

TooTicky Thu 15-Jun-06 15:54:34

Every Thursday, ds2 and I would go to sainsbury's for a wee before going to the library. Shortly after arriving at library, he would need a poo so we would rush back to Sainsbury's only to find it was just a wee or nothing at all. And then, on returning to the library he would invariably poo his pants. So back we'd gp to Sainsbury's...
This went on for a few weeks, possibly 2 months, but it seemed like YEARS!

Northerner Thu 15-Jun-06 16:03:41

Cube of poo is hilarious CD!!!

When my ds was about 2.5 and on day 4 of wearing pants I had to go to work and leave dh in charge of potty training. I gave him lots of instructions about regular toilet visits, don't go too far from home, blah blah blah. So, in his wisdom, dh decides a trip to The American Golf Discount store is required (aprox 35 minute drive). Hos ds got there without weeing I'll never know but he did. Once in the store dh was so engrossed in the latest new driver he lost ds. As soon as he realised he got the 2 guys who work there to walk around the store and help searh for ds. Dh was just starting to panic when one of the guys shouted he'd found him. Dh said as soon as he saw ds's face he knew he'd pooed. He positioned himself in the middle of the window display and filled his pants.

Dh was so embarassed an dhad to use their staff loos to clean him up, and he'd gone out with no spare pants or clothes.

Marina Thu 15-Jun-06 16:05:11

Discussion of the day if not quote of the week "cube of poo...that's not pate, it's shit", PLEASE, Mn HQ!

TinyGang Thu 15-Jun-06 21:22:11

These are better than I could have hoped for Thanks everyone. I was giggling to myself about the cubed poo pate in the car today Just thought I'd bump it again.

I have remembered another one. How could I have forgotten the time we went on holiday and ds pooed in his welly boot (unknown to us). We looked high and in the caravan trying to trace the smell blaming drains and previous occupants and ready to complain to the site office.

Eventually it rained and we discovered the awful truth when ds put on his welly with a squelch.

beansprout Thu 15-Jun-06 21:28:29

Cube of poo - fantastic!

Rhubarb Thu 15-Jun-06 21:31:11

Ds was a genius as a baby of doing one of those up-the-back-and-in-the-hair poos when out and about with no change of clothes. I remember one time some mum with a heart came into the pub toilet as I was trying to wash ds in the sink and she helped me get it out of his hair, wring his clothes under the tap and partially dry them under the hand dryer! - If you're out there, bless you!

blondehelen Thu 15-Jun-06 21:35:07

We were eating outside on a terrace in nicer than average restaurant. dd - mummy I need a poo. Off we trot and dd does a much smaller than average poo. Spend ages on the toilet persuading her to 'finish' and then after no more appeared returned to table to spot the log under the table. Swiftly kicked it into the convenient hedge about 15ft from our table, paid the bill and left!

VVVQV Thu 15-Jun-06 21:37:45

absolutely rofl at wcl adn pmsl at CD's cube of poo! Please please please can that be quote of the week

VVVQV Thu 15-Jun-06 21:43:24

I remember DD when she was about 6 months, did a really nasty up the back nappy in a restaurant one day.

I made the mistake of allowing my mum to "help" me change her nappy, soiled clothes etc.

It wasnt until about an hour later, when i bumped into a friend i hadnt seen for ages in the street, when she gazed at DD and i suddenly noticed, to my horror that DD had a huge smear of poo down the side of her face......

There was also the incident when we were children, when my younger brother couldnt contain himself (he was about 5 or 6), and pooed his pants and didnt know what to do with it. (We were at my Dads works family sports day). So he pulled out the log from his pants and literally "bowled" it over a fence. I promptly ran off, not wanting to be near his pooey fingers and told everyone what he had done . He has NEVER lived it down.....

fairydust Thu 15-Jun-06 21:46:07

dd had been a litte consapated (sp?) on holiday we went to the beach for the day - dd decides gets up from playing sandcastles 10ft away from us and there this huge and i mean huge thing sticking out the back of her swim suit, dh goes to get her and she starts trying to run across the beach with this big thing in her swim suit shouing i've pooed dad.

groggymama Thu 15-Jun-06 21:53:44

fantastic thread haven't laughed so much in ages - for ds it was Brimham Rocks in front of a lot of people and half way home from nursery had to whip his pants down in front of a queue of traffic also in a french hypermarket carpark, and I thought he was just going to wee, but no diarreugh!
WestCountryLass rolf "didn't even pause for thought"!

monkeytrousers Fri 16-Jun-06 17:20:24

has no one mentioned Paula Radcliffe yet?

titneyspears Mon 19-Jun-06 14:35:58

Terrible, but we were recently on a train from Bath to London and our carriage was half full (/empty!?)
A nappy change was imminent and as always there was only one change station onboard and I was too darned lazy to trek up and down looking for it.
I spotted the opportunity of a row of free seats with no one sitting too close, took the nappy off and with a big wriggle and manouver off the towel I'd laid out , out came a massive poo explosion (why does he never do this at home!)
The first plan was to clean him up and then tackle the mess on the seats and floor by us, but then we pulled into a station, in the middle of nowhere, yet loads of people poured in.

I needn't finish the story , you can imagine the polite smiles, and me, baby in one arm, the other hurridly scrubbing the mess up (as if anyone's going to say 'oh thanks' and take the seat).

ruty Thu 22-Jun-06 19:30:25

I'm sorry, I've only just read CD's cube of poo story, and i have to say for the first time genuinely, I actually pmsl. Genius.

Tinker Thu 22-Jun-06 19:31:51

My Chinese sil's mother did one on the platform of a NY subway station. My sil was with her.

sugarfree Thu 22-Jun-06 19:33:08

What?Like a dog?Just trousers down and squat??

sugarfree Thu 22-Jun-06 19:33:34

I'm mortified on behalf of your SIL.

Tinker Thu 22-Jun-06 19:36:42

When you gotta go you gotta go.

sugarfree Thu 22-Jun-06 19:39:26

I don't. I have been known to hang on for 5 days when MIL's loo wasn't flushing properly and the door wouldn't lock.
Bloody glad to get home though

TooTicky Thu 22-Jun-06 19:44:47

I also used to stay somewhere where the loo was next to the kitchen and I just COULDN'T. Couldn't stand people knowing what I was doing, so I just didn't.

Tinker Thu 22-Jun-06 19:45:42

No I don't either, just trying to explain the New York Poo.

spidermama Thu 22-Jun-06 19:49:02

The most memorable moment of my 40th birthday involved just such a poo.

We'd gradually been downsizing plans for the big day over the months due to lack of money and lack of babysitters. Instead of the romantic weekend away in Venice for dh and I, we we ended up doing the London Eye with all four kids at their most challenging. There were a couple of great moments, but I had to fight back tears several times that day.

We ended up in a posh restaurant overlooking the Thames. It was there I spotted the pool of diarhorrea gaining in volume under the high chair.
This is the moment I'll remember forever from my 40th birthday.

Funnily enough though, I haven't felt broody since.

ruty Thu 22-Jun-06 20:14:08

ah spidermama. the joys of children.

3LB Thu 22-Jun-06 23:46:00

Last week at a friend's house (who is also a Mnetter), she was holidng 9mo dd- her goddaughter- and I said "Ooh has she pooed?" as had obv got a bit of a whiff. Friend has a smell <she is holding dd so that she is facing forwards, her back towards friend> and says no. She then goes to pass dd to me, and we both look at the same time to see that my friend has poo all over her cleavage, arm and top, and possibly in her hair- was crying with laughter at this point so not entirely sure. We then had to somehow get exploded nappy and clothes off dd and bath her, wash clothes and friend get changed, which is difficult when unable to stand up for laughing!

If you're reading this olb, sorry mate!

fattiemumma Thu 22-Jun-06 23:53:18

great thread.

its not a poo story as such but pre chidlren i was in pizza hut for a freinds childs birthday.
we got a whiff of something that certainly wasnt pizza so she asked her DS (about 2 at the time) if he was "dirty" he said no.

the smell remained and so she asked him again "have you done a poo?" no he siad again.

still able to smell something decidedly unpleasant she asked a 3rd time...."hunny have you made yourself dirty?"

at which point he stood up, dropped his pants and pulled the cheeks of his bum apart and shouted "NO MUMMY I HAVENT DONE A POO SEE!"

so no not a poo story but its my most memorable non poo story.

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