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Memorable poos in inappropriate places..

(172 Posts)
TinyGang Tue 13-Jun-06 15:40:24

Children have no decorum have they?

Poet John Betjeman is a great favourite of mine and I once had the opportunity to visit his house on holiday once. Dd was very young and christened the whole visit - or perhaps expressed her opinion of it - by doing an almighty great pooey nappy and we had to leave smartish as other visitors were surreptitiously sniffing and looking sideways at each other.

I never thought I'd be mentioning the great JB in the same breath as this

We also had a rather unfortunate episode in Osborne House under the austere gaze of Queen Victoria's portrait

You and your kids? Where have they brought you down to earth with a bump in their time honoured way?

popsycal Wed 14-Jun-06 09:59:48

ds2 aged 3 months during the vows of a very serious and religious friends' wedding. Nice loud farty type breast fed baby type poo
to make matters worse, his nappy leaked on my skirt. Lucky I had brought 3 changes of clothes for us all in my paranoid state!

meowmix Wed 14-Jun-06 16:42:11

oh god poppiesinaline... that is brilliant!

MaloryTowers Wed 14-Jun-06 16:47:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CountessDracula Wed 14-Jun-06 17:04:58

In the S of France on a VERY hot day when dd was about 11 months old. Shopping in the supermarket with a friend and her kids. Excruciating smell of poo as we were just about to finish so I said to friend UH OH dd has done a poo, let's pay then I will go and change her.

Friend was unloading stuff from the trolley and she put something on the conveyor belt. A perfect cube. She said "what's that, pate?" - sniffed her fingers and said "omg it's shit"...

I looked down and a massive poo had come out of the side of dd's nappy, fallen throught a wire bit of the trolley (cutting it into a cube) and the front of the trolley was COVERED in poo.

AND the poo was sitting ON THE CONVEYOR BELT

I didn't stop laughing for about 5 hours

cupcakes Wed 14-Jun-06 17:08:21

cube of pooh!! <wipes tears away>

Blu Wed 14-Jun-06 17:08:34

CD - oh....priceless!

Anchovy Wed 14-Jun-06 17:11:16

DS did an enormous sort of smushy one when we were in Peter Jones having a very civilised coffee in the lovely skyline coffee shop on the top floor, which must have been open for about 2 weeks after a major refurbishment. Quite neatly, a lot of it just went down his leg and into the airconditioning vent that runs around the windows.

We nonchalently mopped up what we could with some paper serviettes and legged it.....

PandaG Wed 14-Jun-06 17:13:17

This thread has really made me laugh out loud, only sorry I can't contribute it, can't think of any memorable poos that are dreadful enough!

TinyGang Wed 14-Jun-06 17:17:03

Me too Panda! You don't get this from Dr Miriam Stoppard baby books!

Californifrau Wed 14-Jun-06 17:24:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

peanutsmum1 Wed 14-Jun-06 19:19:13

pmsl toooooo funny

Mirage Wed 14-Jun-06 20:24:29

OMG these are so funny.DH was on the phone to his mum whilst I was reading these & I laughed so much that I had to go & stand in the conservatory to calm down.I have tears running down my face.

WestCountryLass Wed 14-Jun-06 22:51:04

DS is a naturist and used to take his clothes off all the time, any time, any place, any where. We were sitting by the lighthouse on Portland Bill having a coffee and he took his clothes off and was running and leaping around and as he ran past us a poo shot out of his bum and he didn't even pause for thought.

He did the same when I was at a park in Bath, I was on a meet up with some online friends and we were watching the boules and he ran past this elderly couple and he shot out a log right in front of them. I was so embarrassed picking up this poo with a wetwipe in front of them and then he went and wee'ed up the side of the bench they were sat on.

Callmemadam Wed 14-Jun-06 23:28:22

My friends ds aged 2 was in Focus DIY with us and told his mum he wanted the toilet. She told him to wait a minute while we looked at showers, and then when we got into the carpark she asked him if he wanted to go and he said' no Mummy, I done it in the shop toilet' ! We never dared go back to check which of the bathroom displays he'd selected!!!

beansontoast Wed 14-Jun-06 23:45:58

i too am wiping tears away...oh my god...i love Countessdracula's 'whats that pate...omg its shit!'

cube of poo in stitches

trinityrhino Thu 15-Jun-06 08:17:21

'cube of poo' ROFL

hven't laughd that much for weeks, thought I was gonna wet myself

kate100 Thu 15-Jun-06 08:34:31

'cube of poo' and 'OMG it's shit' ROFL and cannot stop! Haven't laughed so much in ages

I took ds1 for his first haircut and as we were in a hurry I left the change bag in the car. As I walked over to him to put him on the chair he starting going red and grunting. His first haircut was accompanied by the stench of poo, I'd taken the camera but left very quickly so that particular memory has not been recorded for posterity. Not that I'll forget it

monkeytrousers Thu 15-Jun-06 08:36:55

lol at megavoid - where's that from?

monkeytrousers Thu 15-Jun-06 08:48:08

ROTFL Westcountrylass!

acnebride Thu 15-Jun-06 09:00:03

this weekend we were staying with friends of dh's, really nice but the wife of the couple is quite neat and hygienic. we were in the garden - children playing happily naked. ds disappears inside the house. dh follows to see what he was up to. comes back saying 'he told me to go away'. i realise at this point that i have done too much of the potty training as dh has no idea that 'go away' is code for 'i'm about to drop a huge one'. Belted inside without saying anything to find trail of turds through the entire house. Cue race with loo roll, scrabble through strange sink cupboard to find carpet cleaner (thank God they had every cleaning substance known to mankind) and Jcloth, scrub carpet, throw cloth in bin, turn round to see ds peeing on the sofa.

Marina Thu 15-Jun-06 14:01:55

I have just been weeping with laughter at these. I think CD needs to brief gggl so that dd3 can oblige in similar fashion the next time they are so horrible to her in Carrefour.
And as for acnebride...
Ds caught me reading this last night and has asked me to post about the time dd crapped in his Combat Carl helicopter. He has never really recovered and neither has the toy...ahe filled the whole cockpit. Sort of stench bombing really.
Megavoid is ds too btw monkeytrousers

mythumbelinas Thu 15-Jun-06 14:08:21

Earlier this year, my sis, her dh took my parents and my dd2 for a London Eye ride. About 5 mins before the end of the ride dd2 did a poo in her nappy .. stunk out the capsule!!

NomDePlume Thu 15-Jun-06 14:08:54

I'm crying with laughter at babyDrac's cube of poo.

MerlinsBeard Thu 15-Jun-06 14:15:15

Thank you for this thread, haven't smiled in days.

DS1 was a very poo-ey baby and when the HV came to do the usual newborn checks at home she picked him up, put him in the scales and as she was giving him back to me ther was a HUGE enormous yellow streak down her WHITE top , i was mortified!!

DS2 was constipated and as DP was taking his nappy off one night DS2 fired out 'pellets' at DP!!

poppiesinaline Thu 15-Jun-06 15:36:25

ROFL Oh this thread is so funny

"Cube of Poo" I havent laughed so much in ages

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