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10 year old ds just been asking about sex toys and what they are made of

(67 Posts)
HoneyDragon Tue 06-Aug-13 16:21:22

Having established he found out about them on the Internet I made a mental note to check parental controls I stammered my way through a child friendly explanation, whilst his horror visibly increased, as did my own trauma.

He then asked about the duck ones his father had brought home a while ago.

Turns out he was thinking about Stress toys.

We have agreed to Brain bleach and never speak of this again.

I wish I still drank.

HoneyDragon Tue 06-Aug-13 17:32:59

Thank you all. Your sympathy for my predicament has me quite overwhelmed you shower of bastards grin

ineedtogetoutmore Tue 06-Aug-13 17:33:06

hahahahahaha wins funniest thread of the week award...

poor you and your ds

Eyesunderarock Tue 06-Aug-13 17:33:13

grin grin grin grin grin

I cannot tell my several tales of this happening to me in the course of parenting my DD and DS who are now both adults. Not helped by them having a father who doesn't do any sot of discussion involving personal bits and emotions.
Sufficient to say, if he tells you he's wet the bed when he's 13, check he's not meaning that he fell asleep with a drink before launching into 'Wet Dreams 101.'

IslaValargeone Tue 06-Aug-13 17:37:28

grin grin Oh dear, that made me laugh so much.

HoneyDragon Tue 06-Aug-13 17:38:57

EyesInderARock grin

Did he forgive you?

noddyholder Tue 06-Aug-13 17:39:41

One of the boys at ds birthday party when he was about 10 told all the other boys about X mums shaking willy that they found at another birthday party they had been to the week before and asked if I had one they could play with

DioneTheDiabolist Tue 06-Aug-13 17:41:11

You mentioned Tickling!shock Please tell me what you said Honey. Please. grin grin grin

Eyesunderarock Tue 06-Aug-13 17:41:16

He's an Aspie, there is no forgive. grin
Merely irrelevant and unwanted knowledge being forced on him by an open 'You can tell me anything darling' mother. blush

HoneyDragon Tue 06-Aug-13 17:43:07

Bloody Hell Noddy. That would have me leaving the country.

Maryz Tue 06-Aug-13 17:45:05

I have to clear the history on the computer practically every time I go on mumsnet these days. Especially during Wimbledon hmm.

Which is a bit of a pain and I give out to the kids for clearing it. I say it's because I want to be able to access sites again, but it's really so I can see what they are up to. Obviously they are far more computer savvy than I am, so I'm giving up.

Fluffycloudland77 Tue 06-Aug-13 17:45:33

Did he think to ask you how you know what a sex toy is?

SevenReasonsToSmile Tue 06-Aug-13 17:47:10

Thanks OP, I've had a stressful few weeks, I haven't laughed so much in ages

Mrsrobertduvall Tue 06-Aug-13 17:48:36

Did you produce one * noddy* for a particular interesting party game?

Pass the prick anyone?

Eyesunderarock Tue 06-Aug-13 17:52:27

I think it's the way that it slowly dawns on you that you've really not understood, and they are staring at you....and you just can't stop.
You bumble your way haphazardly to the end of the monologue and then there is silence whilst they are still staring at you.
And in your head there is a little voice going ohfuckohfuckohfuck.

noddyholder Tue 06-Aug-13 17:53:16

grin No! interestingly the woman in question was always the most straight laced and reserved in the playground! I never told her poor thing.

HoneyDragon Tue 06-Aug-13 17:55:00


That post sums it up so perfectly

cocolepew Tue 06-Aug-13 17:58:11

grin love it!

Osmiornica Tue 06-Aug-13 18:07:14

I'm assuming you meant hurting not hunting. Testicle hunting would be most strange.

Osmiornica Tue 06-Aug-13 18:07:33

Missed out this grin

HoneyDragon Tue 06-Aug-13 18:20:16

Yes, his "tentacles" were hurting.

Although testicle hunting conjures up some bizarre Elmer Fudd images

ClaraOswald Tue 06-Aug-13 18:21:46

If it had to be anyone, I am so glad it was you.


HoneyDragon Tue 06-Aug-13 20:24:41

Why thank you thanks <genuinely touched>

ClaraOswald Tue 06-Aug-13 20:27:08

Touched in the head?wink

HoneyDragon Tue 06-Aug-13 20:30:49


Wiifitmama Tue 06-Aug-13 20:33:33

Just read this out to dh and after we had both recovered from our fits of laughter, he did say that asking the question "And what makes you ask that?" should always precede any lengthy explanations about sex or bodily functions smile

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