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Parental kindnesses you recall...

(225 Posts)
retiredgoth2 Tue 16-Jul-13 20:39:23

When I was about 10, I'd been out playing with friends. And had had an argument the substance of which escapes me 20 30 ok 37 years later.

Came home in tears. This was unusual. Mum figured she couldn't make things better, but plainly so wanted to.

So she went to the Music Centre and put on a record (I don't recall her ever doing this ever in any other circumstance). It was my Wurzels LP. Which I loved. She was just trying to do something that made me happy..

Anyone else have comparable memories? I really hope in X years my kids will have their own versions...

A disclaimer.

I'm out in Covent Garden, and two drinks down, and inclined to mawkish reminiscence...

DuttyWine Sat 20-Jul-13 22:32:04

When I was about 6 or 7 I dreamt I had a pair of green patent shoes with little heels and a bow on the front. When I woke in the morning I looked around the room frantically searching for them to wear to a friends party later that day.
When I realised that they were just a dream I cried and cried.

My dad kept me off school that day and we trailed round all the shoe shops to find the next best thing. I found a pair of black patent shoes with a little heel and a gold bow on the front and a detachable ankle strap. It made me so so happy!

My parents took my dd on holiday a couple of years ago. My dd was 6 and she fell in love with a pair of gold Spanish dancing shoes in a shop window. She only had 5 euros spending money left. My df insisted on putting the rest of the money towards them... Some 60 euros! This also made her so so happy.

YummyYummyYum Sat 20-Jul-13 23:31:17

My dad buying the CD I wanted, it was special because one of the songs made me think of a boy I liked. And I think my dad knew it was unrequited teenage love, so he gave me the CD and left me in my room to sing that particular song and cry in typical teenage fashion.

My dad coming home tired from work and uni (he was working full time and studying when I was born) and still had the energy to tell me stories and I usually slept in his arms and then I woke up in bed until I was 4 years old I think. My dad taught me how to pray (I found out he is actually agnostic when I was 12 years old) and praying has helped me in difficult times in my life.

My mum making hot chocolate and a sandwich for me when I had to stay up writing assignments for uni.

My mum taught me how to make my favourite dish, how to sew and do a bit of embroidery. She used to kiss me and hug me and when I got 'too old' for it, she said I will miss her hugs and kisses one day... she was right.

I miss my mum so much, I can't believe it has been 11 years since she died.

josiejay Sat 20-Jul-13 23:51:09

My mum always brought me a cup of tea in bed every morning when I was a grumpy teenager. Last year, I was pg and suffering with SPD, DH was working away so DS and I stayed the night at my mum's. I woke up and found a cup of tea on the bedside table. Made me feel all warm inside and took me right back to being a kid again. Just one of a thousand lovely things my mum has done and still does for me.

LondonNinja Sun 21-Jul-13 00:27:11

Inspiring thread - thank you so much. Can't type more as too blurry-eyed!

cleopatrasasp Sun 21-Jul-13 01:53:05

My grandfather de-frosted my car for me every day before I went to work during the winters I lived with him (and my Gran). I still miss him so much.

bouncingbelle Sun 21-Jul-13 02:12:34

One more memory- one Xmas I was desperate for the latest game that was out, dad came in from work every day telling us a story about a guy in his work who was trying to buy this game for his child, it was old out everywhere, every lunchtime and weekend this 'man at the work' was trailing round every shop in the city o find this game to no avail. I was told I wouldn't be getting one as there was no way dad was going to that much effort...
Come Xmas morning I woke to find I,d got that precious game! And later found out there was no 'man at the work' - it had just been dads way of updating mum on how the hunt for the game had gone!

Pitmountainpony Sun 21-Jul-13 02:48:58

My dad made me my own Tudor house in our shrubbery, with leaded windows and a trap door upstairs. My mum ran up curtains with rosebuds on for the windows.
Did I love playing shop down there...I spent entire Saturday mornings there unti my mum brought a tray with the most beautifully made sandwiches and a really clean spring onion , all trimmed. Only when you have kids do you realize how much effort your own parents made when they were at their best.

soundevenfruity Sun 21-Jul-13 03:07:20

My darling mum would make me a cup of tea and sit with me during those hard night feeds in the first few months. She would also take my wide awake at night DC off me and let me sleep in her bed and laugh with me about those silly things I said when I was delirious with lack of sleep.

Happiestinwellybobs Sun 21-Jul-13 06:17:28

I remember being in Woolworths, and seeing this little kitten and puppy in a wicker basket. I was obviously besotted and my birthday was a few weeks later, but dad said that I had too many soft toys already (he did have a point as over a third of my bed was taken up with them). I was a bit disappointed but knew that we didn't have lots of money either, so didn't push it.

And on my birthday (7th I think), lo and behold, there were the kitten and puppy smile

Birthday parties were always brilliant. I once had a crackerjack themed party with mum recreating games such as having to stick your face in flour to get to a sweet at the bottom.

I agree with Pit - now I'm a mum, I realise how much my parents did for me. We weren't well off, didn't have lots of "things" but the experiences and love more than made up for that.

JogOnKitty Sun 21-Jul-13 06:52:24

This thread is wonderful and I really hope I am providing my own dc with some wonderful memories of their own.
My contribution is from my dad. We went to the football all the time when i was younger (season ticket holders) and I always looked forward to halftime in the bar. Dad always used to buy me a shandy and a pie smile Even though Mum didnt really like the thought of a young girl been surrounded by loud, rowdy blokes she realised it was what I looked forward to all week.

The shandy was mine and Dads little secret though and when I got older, it changed to a pint! grin

aroomofherown Sun 21-Jul-13 07:20:46

This bloody thread has made me weep but I stupidly read it while in a cafe. Now I'm trapped here while the tears run down my face and I stare out the window trying to distract myself with the thoughts of all the washing I have to do! Such a healing thread.

VashtaNerada Sun 21-Jul-13 07:32:15

My mum (and dad for that matter) worked FT when I was growing up. I know she felt guilty about it but always made sure the time she had with us was special. She would make little rituals for the morning and bedtime that I still remember fondly now. Once, she missed my 8th birthday for a conference but came home with a badge saying It's Great to be Eight with a robot on, and chatted to me in the bath. I genuinely didn't mind and understood she had to work.
She also told me recently that I'm a good mum which really blew me away.

VashtaNerada Sun 21-Jul-13 07:42:45

PaleHousewife I wish i had told her before she got so ill how much she meant to me, and still means to me
You didn't need to tell her, she would have known. My wonderful Grandmother had dementia towards the end and I remember how hard it was flowers

DumSpiroSpero Sun 21-Jul-13 07:45:02

When I was 20, and commuting to college 45 miles away, my dad would come home from his night shift and stay up to drop me at the station rather than me having to walk 2 miles early in the morning.

Also went round for dinner last week (DD and I go every Sunday in the summer as DH plays cricket) and instead of a roast we had cold chicken, salad (iceberg, tomato, cucumber and harboiled eggs) and new potatoes with salad cream.

DH is a chef, so salads at our house are usually a bit more elaborate and I don't think I've eaten salad cream since I left home 17 years ago, but it was lovely and I realized it will always make me think of my childhood. DD loves it too so looks like it might become a regular fixture on my shopping list after all! smile.

elinorbellowed Sun 21-Jul-13 08:52:00

My parents were very poor and frankly should not have had 4 children! But they always found the money for us to go on school trips and we always had books. Mum would trawl charity shops and buy them discarded from the library. I read constantly and still do.
This thread has reminded me of one of the worst times in my life and how my Mum helped me. I was 19 and I had a nervous breakdown. I could barely speak, was prescribed sleeping pills and ADs, couldn't eat, was catatonic. She nursed me through it, sleeping in the same bed as me, dressing me, finding meals I would eat, making sure I took my pills and protecting me from everything that triggered panic attacks. Once, in the hospital car park, after a session with the psychiatrist I sobbed that I wasn't feeling better and that I was being swallowed by the depression. She looked me in the eyes and promised me that she would never let that happen and that she would leave everything and take me somewhere to make me better if that's what I wanted and lots or other things that truly set me on the road to recovery. She refuses to take any credit for that and still tells me that I made myself better. She's amazing.
DD has just climbed onto my lap saying "Mummy I need you". and I am now sobbing and praying that I haven't passed my mental health problems on to her.

rabbitlady Sun 21-Jul-13 09:29:43

I've got to search my daughter's username now, to see if I ever did anything lovely. she's my little baby. I love her.

soupmaker Sun 21-Jul-13 10:46:46

Me and DB were brought up on a farm. DF was the farm manager.

One Christmas we left hay and turnips out for Santa's reindeer and in the morning the turnips had big bites out and teeth marks - DF had got a cow to chew them. 35 years later we still talk about it and DF always laughs at how our eyes were like saucers!

We didn't have a lot of money and I didn't get the pony I always wanted, but we were given the most amazing freedom to roam and play. I live in a city now and I try and give DD as much freedom as possible to just go play outside, get dirty, climb trees, make pals.

We spent summers helping dad with making hay, shearing sheep, and playing across fields and hills.

Mum would make picnics in the summer to take out to the workers. We'd get to help make pancakes and she'd always make one for me and DB in the shape of our initial. I do the same for DD.

They are both retired now and all their grandchildren just adore visiting and staying with them.

Maggietess Sun 21-Jul-13 11:33:32

My dad used to sing us our own song that he made up, it started with me and then my brother and sisters. I now sing it to my own kids. It was a very simple little song and included a bit for us to sing back. I love thinking about it now and I love the fact that my kids will grow up with the same fond memories and hopefully sing it to their kids!

Also, I grew up with twins as siblings and my mum and dad were always really keen that each of us get to spend some quality time with them. So every Friday fortnight two of us went to my gran's for an overnight stay and the third got to stay at home with mum and dad and have whatever night we wanted (film/out of tea/special tea/games night). It was just great at the time and now that I'm older I really appreciate that they thought that through and did it at the time.

comelywenchlywoo Sun 21-Jul-13 15:01:10

A few nights ago I'm suddenly became ill with crippling stomach pains and vomiting. DH is away and DS has SEN which mean he wakes frequently. I knew my DP were at a dinner party, but I was desperate. I texted to ask if they could come by and stay the night with us (I meant after their dinner), but I got the reply "be there in 30mins". I was sooo relieved.

When they arrived DF sat on the floor of the bathroom where I was slumped in a heap and made me take sips of water through a straw. I was there for about two hours and he has an artificial hip. DM got my washing in and put it on the airer, then stayed the night with me and got up with DS at 5am. She took him around to hers so I could sleep.

My parents are my heros - they always come to the rescue! They've been texting me loads over the past few day to make sure I'm coping ok. LOVE them!

I know that's not a memory from childhood, but you get the measure of them from that story!

One more though. When we were little DSis took her teddy bear tiger to the local fair. Unfortunately she lost it there, but didn't realise till we got home. She was devastated. DF went back to the fair and found teddy (who had unfortunately been mauled by a dog). He brought him home wrapped in his coat so Dsis couldn't see the mess he was in and then sewed him back together once we were in bed. Dsis came down in the morning to one (almost) as good as new tiger.

So sad for those of you who've lost parents I dread it so much. I'm so grateful I have mine still here.

Vagazzled Sun 21-Jul-13 16:47:12

I was 8 or 9 and we were absolutely skint. My step-dad had lost his job and it was Christmas time. We had no decorations, tree, anything. I went to bed (still believing in FC) and asked him if he was coming, to make my sisters 1st Christmas magical.
I came downstairs the next morning to a grotto grin grin
Found out years later that my nans, aunties etc had all brought decorations/tree/lights and my mum had stayed up all night decorating the living room. They'd all brought their presents to us to ours (we used to open them at each house) so we have lots to open. I cried confused
And believed in FC for at least another few years smile

JeanBillie Sun 21-Jul-13 16:49:50

I can't possibly calculate how many hours my dad must have sat in his car, waiting to pick me or my sister up from nights out rather than let us take public transport/taxis. I also know that now, aged 35 with a husband and family of my own, he'd rather take a call from me in the early hours than let me be at risk!

And my mum is so thoughtful, always cutting articles of interest or buying little things that could be of use or bring happiness to me, my sister or my daughter. I remember she once gave in to my demands for green scrambled eggs (made with blue food colouring) and must've sighed when I couldn't eat them! smile

The main thing is that they'd both do anything to help us, and I want to make sure my children grow up knowing the same.

Cherryoats Sun 21-Jul-13 16:56:14

Some of these are lovely smile
My mum used to write me letters/ send postcards whenever I went on a trip away or she did, she still does sometimes smile it's nice to get a hand written letter.

Happiestinwellybobs Sun 21-Jul-13 19:11:45

Oh and another... I was 19 and had a horrendous bout of glandular fever. I didn't eat in days. My dad went to Kwik Save and bought 7 different puddings, put them all on a tray and brought them to my bed to try and tempt me to eat something smile

cuppateaanyone Sun 21-Jul-13 19:52:38

Twice as a child / teenager my mum crept into the room I shared with my little sister and said 'wake up cuppa tea, do you want to go to France with daddy today' and off we'd go to Paris on the train and we would see everything....I still have the photos he let me take on his camera and despite us having quite a strained relationship now I treasure the adventure and excitement instilled in me and all the effort they both went to.
One other time we were on holiday in Italy, I must have been 5 and my dad woke me about 9 o'clock at night and he took me to a fun fair they'd spied earlier, something about going on all the rides in my pyjamas late at night was so exhilarating....

KittyKattyKatie Thu 25-Jul-13 11:28:14

Sorry to post when the thread has sort of stopped but really wanted to add mine.

Following a long illness my mum died when I was 7, I was devastated as you'd expect. I had about 3 days off school and then went back, Dad was keen for us to get some routine back.

I really struggled to adjust and it was a very hard time for us all. Then about a week after the funeral, I came home and I found my Dad waiting for me, he told me that there was someone waiting for me in the living room. I assumed that Grandma had come over to cheer me up and went in to see her. When I went in there was the most beautiful, teeny little kitten waiting for me. I think I must have smiled for the first time in months that day, I love my Dad grin

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