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Would I be unreasonable to set my children an exam question?

(99 Posts)
FlouncyMcFlouncer Wed 19-Jun-13 10:39:10

It would go something like this:

Three people live in a household. They are all over 16 years old. Two work full time, one is in full time study. All three use the bathroom. All three dislike cleaning intensely, yet the bathroom is always cleaned by Person A. Explain, using both sides of the paper, why this is fair. Show your workings out.

Inertia Wed 19-Jun-13 17:01:02

Q. When eating spaghetti bolognaise, the correct place to wipe your mouth is:

a) On your sleeve.
b) On the dining chair.
c) On your sibling.
d) On the napkin that your mother thoughtfully provided right next to your arm.

motherinferior Wed 19-Jun-13 17:05:35

Discuss, with reasons for your argument, the ownership of shower gels, body lotions and other toiletries using the examples of

(a) a 10 year old girl
(b) a 12 year old girl
(c) a 50 year old woman who has just had a birthday and been given many lovely and really quite pricey products.

JohnnyUtah Wed 19-Jun-13 17:07:03

This is SO the way if the future. My two have just aced their exams, A stars coming out of their ears. They will soon have NINE weeks off. I will begin drafting immediately grin

NonnoMum Wed 19-Jun-13 17:08:58

You live in a household of four able-bodied adults. You need to throw away a yoghurt pot. The kitchen bin is full.

Do you

a) Leave said pot in the vicinity of the bin.
b) empty the kitchen bin into the refuse bin outside with no fuss
c) empty the kitchen bin into the refuse bin outside and refill kitchen bin with an empty bin bag
or d) have another yoghurt?

Pascha Wed 19-Jun-13 17:20:27

Crusts are for:

a) eating
b) leaving on plate
c) leaving on table/chair/windowsill
d) throwing at the cat hmm

Potties are for:

a) Choo-chooing round the kitchen
b) Wees and poos
c) A convenient hat
d) throwing at the cat hmmhmm

QuanticoVirginia Wed 19-Jun-13 17:23:20


or e) try shoving in it the full bin anyway ensuring the lid will no longer shut, rubbish starts falling out over the floor and the kitchen will smell of stinky food wrappers?

TheOriginalSteamingNit Wed 19-Jun-13 17:29:20

OP, is the answer 'because Persons B and C never asked to be born into this stupid family'? grin

flatpackhamster Wed 19-Jun-13 18:03:24


Oh now that IS unreasonable. Surely everyone knows that toilet roll changing is a skill only acquired through motherhood?

Actually it's entirely gender based. Boys get 'removing spiders from the house without squealing and clinging on to the light fitting'. and girls get 'switching the toilet roll for a fresh one and putting the old tube in the recycling'.

motherinferior Wed 19-Jun-13 18:12:26

1. Define the precise number of people constituting 'everybody'.

For additional marks, define the precise point at which 'nobody' becomes 'everybody'.

2. Give three examples of ways in which your parents embarrass you. The following will NOT be counted:

(a) breathing
(b) walking down the street with you
(c) saying hello to friends in public
(d) mentioning the fact they danced at a party which you did not even attend

sittinginthesun Wed 19-Jun-13 18:26:28

A house has two bathrooms, both containing toilets. Against her better judgment, the examiner has actually left the seats up in the hope that it might encourage the candidates to answer correctly.

You need a wee. Do you:

A. Run into the bathroom, pulling your pants down, aim in the rough direction of the toilet, hit the floor, wall and back of the lid, run off, pulling your pants up;

B. wander into the bathroom in a daydream, stand by the toilet, pull you pants half down, wee in the toilet, and also on your pants, take them off, and wander off with no pants on;

C. Enter the bathroom. Pull your pants down. Wee into the toilet. Wipe up any drips. Flush. Pull your pants up. Close lid. WASH YOUR HANDS! DRY YOUR CLEAN HANDS ON THE TOWEL. Leave the room.

Applies to DS1, DS2, and DH.

NonnoMum Wed 19-Jun-13 18:28:37

Quantico - that option is for A Level only. For degree level...

f) try and shove it in. Lose your cool and shout out to a sleeping household, "Does anybody other than me think it might be a good idea to change this bloody bin from time to time?" whilst reaching for the gin.

FALSEdichotomy Wed 19-Jun-13 18:32:47

Yes. Do it! I think that is fair and reasonable.

Maryz Wed 19-Jun-13 18:42:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Inertia Wed 19-Jun-13 18:42:27

Q. You are a 9-year-old girl. Whose fault is it*?

a) Your sister's. It's ALWAYS her fault.
b) Your mother's. If she wasn't so bossy none of this would have happened.
c) Your father's. He's always on her side**

* 'It' being a list of problems or difficulties which may include (but is not limited to): an argument; a fight; a lost remote control; spilt food; all that mess everywhere; muddy footprints; muddy handprints ; muddy noseprints; the state of being late for something important; not being ready for school

**May refer to mother or sister.

FlouncyMcFlouncer Wed 19-Jun-13 18:43:03

TheOriginalSteamingNit Yes, it seems that that IS the correct answer!

LEMisdisappointed Wed 19-Jun-13 18:44:07

might i nominate this threads for classics - brilliant smile

Inertia Wed 19-Jun-13 18:59:38

Q. You are a married man with two small children. What is the correct procedure for getting the entire family ready and out on time?

a) Get yourself ready while your wife gets child A ready, then swap over and sort out child B while your wife gets ready.

b) Get the coats and shoes ready and bags packed while your wife deals with the children.

c) Get yourself ready while your wife runs round getting the children and everything else sorted. Then sit on an armchair with your coat on playing with your phone, refusing all suggestions about how you might help by claiming that you don't know where that is, or we won't need that anyway. Ensure that you shout periodically that we need to get a move on. Wait until everybody is finally ready, packed and sat in the car to decide that you need the loo and want to change your shoes and want to wear that coat that hasn't been seen since 2008.

Maryz Wed 19-Jun-13 19:02:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MalenkyRusskyDrakonchik Wed 19-Jun-13 19:13:50

I have some for mature students.

Q. You are adult siblings, each with attached partner. When you are fed a meal by your generous parents, is the courteous response:

a) 'Thanks, that was lovely, I'll help clear up.'
b) 'Thanks, that was lovely, my wife will clear up.'
c) 'I'm off out now, dad.'
d) <clunk of chair pushed back>

Q. There are eight adults in the house, and one baby under two. There are two bathrooms. What is the correct procedure for determining who showers/bathes when?

a) Anarchy: Ignore everyone else and aim for a long bath with a good book.
b) Capitalism: Bribe your siblings and parents by offering to clean the bathroom afterwards.
c) Communism: Share the bath with the baby and your partner.
d) Democracy: Everyone discusses it and no-one ends up with time to wash.

freddiefrog Wed 19-Jun-13 19:14:14

When you help yourself to icepops, should you
A) leave freezer door open, leave kitchen scissors, drips of melted icepop and wrappers on the side
B) close the freezer door, put away scissors, wipe up drips and put wrappers in the bin

When Mum leaves the computer for 3 seconds is the correct etiquette to:
A) ask is she's finished
B) jump in, log her out of Facebook and log into Minecraft

Is the correct place for storing dirty socks
A) under the sofa
B) under your bed
C) screwed up into balls and thrown at the dog
D) in the dirty wash bin

Do school bags belong
A) abandoned in the middle of the living room floor
B) in your bedroom

And one for DH

Is the correct place for used teabags
A) squeezed out and left on thr worktop by the kettle
B) in the bin

sarahtigh Wed 19-Jun-13 19:37:38

no-one is allowed to change a toilet roll until been on an approved HSE course;the places are strictly limited to one per household as previous experience essential there was no-one else apart from Mum in our household qualified to go on the course and everyone else is too busy on a facebook adjusting status course

GW297 Wed 19-Jun-13 19:47:18

This is brilliant! OP do it and post the response!

loopyluna Wed 19-Jun-13 20:03:02

When is bedtime?
A. When Mum says merrily "right, time for bed now..."
B. When Mum says firmly "ok now, Up To Bed, no more messing about..."

Inertia Wed 19-Jun-13 20:44:54

The follow-up question on the ice-pop exam paper:

Q. Where should you put the bits of plastic snipped off the top of the ice pop wrapper?

a) In the bin
b) In the plastics recycling box
c) On the worktop
d) Don't bother, just let them fall in the scissor drawer to make shiny sticky ice-pop-wrapper confetti.

freddiefrog Wed 19-Jun-13 20:56:33


And cross referencing the icepop follow up paper

DH, when you remove a bottle top from the top of a nice cold beer should you
A) put them in the bin
B) let them drop into the teaspoon compartment of the cutlery drawer

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