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Gaahhh, can you sew up a belly button?

132 replies

TotallyBursar · 15/06/2013 22:15

Or maybe stuff a cork in it or something?

I shifted some garden waste earlier and I was annoyed but not worried by a very itchy waistband.
I had tree bits everywhere but we were burning it all & would only get more scratchy bits on me so I left it. This was my first mistake.

I got in the bath and my belly button was still stabby and itchy, so I armed my self with tweezers to try and get a splinter out.

It was not a splinter.
It was a fecking huge bug of unknown species, at least dog sized, probably carnivorous. I would be prepared to swear I saw fangs.

It obviously saw my weaponry and made a dash for it...down my leg
It's gone now but I don't know where...I can feel it watching me. It could swim, nowhere is safe.

What if waits unti I'm asleep and tries to eat my face? What if it liked my belly button and decides to get back in ?




OP posts:
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MadBusLady · 15/06/2013 22:17
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OutragedFromLeeds · 15/06/2013 22:18

Shock

This is the single most disturbing thing I've ever read on mumsnet.

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OutragedFromLeeds · 15/06/2013 22:19

I think you need to move. It's the only option as far as I can see. Run far, run fast.

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MadBusLady · 15/06/2013 22:19

Are you sure it got into the belly button from outside in the first place?

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dontlaugh · 15/06/2013 22:19

Fuuuck. If it can live in a belly button, it can live in a bath. Helpful. Ahem.

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thingamajig · 15/06/2013 22:19

You need to leave the house now, and never go back

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MadBusLady · 15/06/2013 22:21

Wait, you're not still in the bath are you? Get out of the bathroom, bar the door, then burn the house down. Update us when you're done.

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HoneyDragon · 15/06/2013 22:21

Stop gardening forever it's too dangerous.

Seek alcohol immediately, keep drinking till you can't remember where your belly button is. Then if the carnivorous giant bug with fangs returns you won't be able to give it directions,

Are you sure it climbed down your leg. Check your pubes for eyeballs.

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EeyoreIsh · 15/06/2013 22:25

eugh. Are you sure it wasn't a tick?

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HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 15/06/2013 22:26

Oh my fuck, Ugh, ick, ewwww!

I really have nothing else to say except thank you for the heebie jeebies

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Kneedeepindaisies · 15/06/2013 22:27

What the actual fuck?Confused

Where is it now? Still in the bath? Down the plug?

I hope you don't live near me.

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HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 15/06/2013 22:29

This reminds me. Gross story alert.

Read a story once where someone went hiking in like the Amazon or somewhere, got an infection in his big toe, took his hunting knife to burst the blister, pressed it and out popped thousands of insect larvae.

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BeanoNoir · 15/06/2013 22:29

AAAHHHHH!!!

That's the scariest post ever

What are you going to do? How are you going to sleep?

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UserError · 15/06/2013 22:30

This is almost like sporn, but ALIVE.

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Kneedeepindaisies · 15/06/2013 22:30

Thanks Hearts.

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BeanoNoir · 15/06/2013 22:30

I feel sick reading this thread

Sorry op. Can anyone help the op at all? Rather than just shit her up more?

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TotallyBursar · 15/06/2013 22:31

Oh my god

OP posts:
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Kneedeepindaisies · 15/06/2013 22:35

Ticks can't swim so if it was a tick it is now dead.

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TotallyBursar · 15/06/2013 22:35

No not a tick. I would be positively cock a hoop if it was just a tick.

It may not have been actually dog sized. But when suddenly part of some alien horror film panic does set in ever so slightly.

It is still here though - and I am not ok with that. I don't care if that makes me a wuss - but this whole situation is not ok!

OP posts:
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MadBusLady · 15/06/2013 22:37

Hey, look on the bright side maybe you'll get used to it being around.

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LemonMousse · 15/06/2013 22:37

I'm shuddering here (and I'm the sort who removes spiders for the rest of the family) but this has freaked me out!

I'm glad my belly button is a bit of an 'outy' one. Is yours quite deep like a breeding ground then OP? Wink

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Ezza1 · 15/06/2013 22:38

OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Shock

Envy

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TrinityRhino · 15/06/2013 22:38

earwig?

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MadBusLady · 15/06/2013 22:39

Sorry. I will stop now. Blush

Could it have been a centipede? They look scary and go like the clappers but the worst that can happen is you get a bite. Do you have any stinging/itching?

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Kneedeepindaisies · 15/06/2013 22:39

Did it have wings? Maybug?

Or worse. Cockroach. ConfusedConfusedConfused

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