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Gaahhh, can you sew up a belly button?

(133 Posts)
TotallyBursar Sat 15-Jun-13 22:15:54

Or maybe stuff a cork in it or something?

I shifted some garden waste earlier and I was annoyed but not worried by a very itchy waistband.
I had tree bits everywhere but we were burning it all & would only get more scratchy bits on me so I left it. This was my first mistake.

I got in the bath and my belly button was still stabby and itchy, so I armed my self with tweezers to try and get a splinter out.

It was not a splinter.
It was a fecking huge bug of unknown species, at least dog sized, probably carnivorous. I would be prepared to swear I saw fangs.

It obviously saw my weaponry and made a dash for it...down my leg <shuddering at the memory>
It's gone now but I don't know where...I can feel it watching me. It could swim, nowhere is safe.

What if waits unti I'm asleep and tries to eat my face? What if it liked my belly button and decides to get back in ?


<considers putting ant poison in umbilical horror show. Who knew it was that cavernous? I'll probly need a whole bottle sad >

MadBusLady Sat 15-Jun-13 22:17:57

<vomits helpfully>

OutragedFromLeeds Sat 15-Jun-13 22:18:18


This is the single most disturbing thing I've ever read on mumsnet.

OutragedFromLeeds Sat 15-Jun-13 22:19:02

I think you need to move. It's the only option as far as I can see. Run far, run fast.

MadBusLady Sat 15-Jun-13 22:19:17

Are you sure it got into the belly button from outside in the first place?

dontlaugh Sat 15-Jun-13 22:19:24

Fuuuck. If it can live in a belly button, it can live in a bath. Helpful. Ahem.

thingamajig Sat 15-Jun-13 22:19:41

You need to leave the house now, and never go back

MadBusLady Sat 15-Jun-13 22:21:10

Wait, you're not still in the bath are you? Get out of the bathroom, bar the door, then burn the house down. Update us when you're done.

HoneyDragon Sat 15-Jun-13 22:21:48

Stop gardening forever it's too dangerous.

Seek alcohol immediately, keep drinking till you can't remember where your belly button is. Then if the carnivorous giant bug with fangs returns you won't be able to give it directions,

Are you sure it climbed down your leg. Check your pubes for eyeballs.

EeyoreIsh Sat 15-Jun-13 22:25:43

eugh. Are you sure it wasn't a tick?

HeartsTrumpDiamonds Sat 15-Jun-13 22:26:38

Oh my fuck, Ugh, ick, ewwww!

I really have nothing else to say except thank you for the heebie jeebies

Kneedeepindaisies Sat 15-Jun-13 22:27:24

What the actual fuck?confused

Where is it now? Still in the bath? Down the plug?

I hope you don't live near me.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds Sat 15-Jun-13 22:29:13

This reminds me. Gross story alert.

Read a story once where someone went hiking in like the Amazon or somewhere, got an infection in his big toe, took his hunting knife to burst the blister, pressed it and out popped thousands of insect larvae.

BeanoNoir Sat 15-Jun-13 22:29:25


That's the scariest post ever <helpful>

What are you going to do? How are you going to sleep?

UserError Sat 15-Jun-13 22:30:01

This is almost like sporn, but ALIVE.

Kneedeepindaisies Sat 15-Jun-13 22:30:20

Thanks Hearts.

<eyes up blister on foot warily>

BeanoNoir Sat 15-Jun-13 22:30:33

I feel sick reading this thread

Sorry op. Can anyone help the op at all? Rather than just shit her up more?

TotallyBursar Sat 15-Jun-13 22:31:47

Oh my god <why isn't there a shrieking in near hysterics emoticon?>

No, it's definitely not still on me -tries desperately to forget horror films with silent bugs lurking behind yoooooou just...waiting- no, I'm clear...nugh, it must have been a solitary scout.

In me? IN ME? Madbuslady, I've always liked you but I'm afraid I must stuff you in a cupboard far away so I cannot hear your heinous imaginings. angry

Booze...booze for fire and for memory. Yes.

I have no booze.
I have cheese. Maybe I can trap it? Otherwise I will have to drink petrol...but that means leaving my bed and putting my feet on the floor oooh, dither dither.

It's pretty much certain death isn't it? sad S'ok I'll draw it's attention away from the dc. I'm ready <I'm not ready>

Kneedeepindaisies Sat 15-Jun-13 22:35:30

Ticks can't swim so if it was a tick it is now dead.

TotallyBursar Sat 15-Jun-13 22:35:53

No not a tick. I would be positively cock a hoop if it was just a tick.

It may not have been actually dog sized. But when suddenly part of some alien horror film panic does set in ever so slightly.

It is still here though - and I am not ok with that. I don't care if that makes me a wuss - but this whole situation is not ok!

MadBusLady Sat 15-Jun-13 22:37:37

Hey, look on the bright side maybe you'll get used to it being around.

LemonMousse Sat 15-Jun-13 22:37:43

I'm shuddering here (and I'm the sort who removes spiders for the rest of the family) but this has freaked me out!

I'm glad my belly button is a bit of an 'outy' one. Is yours quite deep like a breeding ground then OP? wink

Ezza1 Sat 15-Jun-13 22:38:06

OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! shock

envy <<<< barf face

TrinityRhino Sat 15-Jun-13 22:38:52


MadBusLady Sat 15-Jun-13 22:39:10

Sorry. I will stop now. blush

Could it have been a centipede? They look scary and go like the clappers but the worst that can happen is you get a bite. Do you have any stinging/itching?

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