Have you ever encountered anyone this cheeky?(626 Posts)
roughly by a couple of threads recently...
I used to have a friend (used to being the operative) who would come round to my house to smoke. Her reason being that she didn't want her house to smell like smoke and she didn't like smoking in the street as she thought it looked 'common' (her words)
The punchline being that I didn't smoke
That friendship ended when I saw the light and realised that she was using me! She was happy enough to make my house stink and I was too polite (at the time) to ask her not to as I thought I was being a welcoming host.
Has anyone encountered anyone with more brass neck than that?
Years ago when I was 5 months pregnant with DD1, I was chatting to a lady i vaguely knew (I'd spoken to her a few times as we were often at the gym/ pool around the same time and she lived very local to me so i sw her out and about). She mentioned that she wanted to go to her H's work do that Saturday but hadn't been able to get a babysitter for her DC. I wasn't busy so said I could watch them for a few hours (I was in that 1st baby pregnancy stage where I just wanted to be with kids all the time!)
She agreed nd i turned up at 7.30 on the saturday. Both kids (4 & 6) were still up and dressed. The mother then said that they hadn't eaten and i'd need to cook them some tea (!) before i got them ready for bed. I was a bit but agreed. Then just as they were on the way out of the door she handed me a list (an actual written list!!) of jobs that needed doing and said 'here's a few things that you can be doing whilst you're here.' The list included hoovering the living room, tidying the kitchen and ironing!
She told me they'd be back around 11 but it was nearly 2am when they rolled in. I'd been planning to walk home (only 15 minutes) but I was completely exhausted and it was freezing so i decided to call DH to drive round and pick me up. He said he'd be 10-15 mins as he'd have to get dressed and de-ice the car. I told the woman this and she told me i'd have to wait outside as they wanted to go to bed but needed to lock the door! I was too tired to argue so spent 10 minutes stood at the end of their drive in the freezing cold (whilst 5m pregnant) so they could go to bed!!
And no, they never offered to pay me. And funnily enough I didn't speak to her agin..
Oh and when they got home ans she saw the pile of washing had not been ironed she said " oh you didn't manage to find time for the ironing..."
In a tone of voice that suggested i'd somehow doubled her workload for the next week by not doing it!
Ex boyfriend once asked me if I knew anyone who lived in Birmingham.
I replied that the only person I knew there was my bosses daughter who I knew vaguely.
He then told me he had to stay overnight in Birmingham for an interview, and asked me to ask my bosses daughter if he could stay overnight at her place. He had never met my boss, or her daughter.
And he got really pissed off when I said, errrr, NO....
Crickey - do you think maybe we are the idiots for not behaving like that too? The total belief in absolute entitlement to whatever they want!
My MIL said today (I'm 21 weeks pregnant) "I hate the names you've picked. If you call him any of those names, I won't be calling him that. You'll have to change it." This was after she went on and on about how massive I am and how I've "put on weight everywhere! Like, all over!" I actually haven't, my belly is huge but I'm pregnant, of course I'm big.
Bloody charming Futterby!
Reminds me of my ex MIL who said to me when 36 weeks pregnant in front of ex's whole extended family "I hope you'll be a size 12 after you've had this baby - you're much too fat"! I was a size 16 to start with & only put on a stone and a half in that pregnancy!!
This thread is nicely cathartic
Not anywhere near the mexican holiday thief but....
My SIL. Before a major exam, I had arranged to stay with my family for a weekend. I mean really big, think several thousands in preparation fees, suit, travel, courses etc, proper career make or break stuff. This was arranged because my DB had offered to look after DS to give me time for some uninterrupted study, and my partner time to catch up with some work. My brother has two lovely sons and our kids (all under 7) get on very well. Except SIL somehow just had to go shopping for cushions that very weekend with DB in a town many miles off (I devoutly hope this was an excuse for something more exciting) and on turning up DP and I realised we were going to be providing childcare for the three boys.
All day, 2 days before the biggest test of my postgrad career. We were gobsmacked, too gobsmacked to protest. DB patently embarrassed but not enough to say anything to his wife
They say to live well is the best revenge, so we had a quick chat and made a plan. Boys went outside for a game of mudfootball, building sand forts, then as the weather got bad in the afternoon, inside for a bit of cooking, making cakes decorated with multicoloured sugar icing and lots of sweets. We all had a great day, I managed an hours studying in total. But the best bit was the look on SILs face as she came in to see her totally hyper mud covered, sand encrusted, food dyed sugar high kids! DB was pretty amused by it all, kids had had a great day. I passed the damn exam anyway and she has never taken the childcare piss again.
(Shes not a bad egg btw, I dont think she realised how big a deal the exam etc was, and we normally get on great. And now I am very much the fun auntie!)
Many years ago with my ex we had a small house. A woman I worked with who presented as quiet and fragile latched onto me. As time wore on she told many tales of woe, culminating in accusations of domestic assault.
I said she could come and stay for a few nights if it got too much.
Big mistake. She turned up one night and I put her up in our spare room. She soon nested and spread all her belongings around the place and showed no signs of moving on. She went sick from work and lounged around, up at six pm and drinking and smoking all night.
I later found that she had gone through my drawers and cupboards and stolen stuff. She didnt wash and ate odd things. Looking back she had severe mental health problems with a huge dose of narcissism. She was a profound liar. She made a play for my ex, walking around with very little on.
I threw her out. All sorted i thought.
I came home from work one day and there were two huge articulated lorries outside my house. Odd i thought. Several local thugs were also milling around.
Turned out she had been back to her house and emptied it, loaded it up and brought it to mine. My house was choc full with her crap. Furniture, boxes, white goods. You name it, it was there!
You could not get in any room. She saw me and legged it. One of the thugs informed me that she has hired a bedsit and that I was storing a few bits for a friend! It took six months for her to remove the stuff, lots of threats and finally legal action.
The worst of it was she thought we were still friends. She moved on to another sucker and bled her dry.
I couldn't move in my house for months. It was awful and she had stolen lots of sentimental stuff. Truly awful.
I'm speechless sillyname, terrible, just terrible for you.
I hate the expression "No good turn goes unpunished" but sometimes it is very apt. That's awful sillyname, I hope she got her comeuppance.
Ex acquaintance used me as free childcare for her tiny 3mo son while she went to work one day a week for over a year and also left him with me as a free evening babysitter a few times. She seemed to think I ought to find him cute enough to want to babysit him for not even a thank you, although I had a 2 yo DS and 3 mo DD to look after at the same time. A mutual friend recently saw them (was 17 years ago) and reminded them about that (she was aghast at the time) and apparently they had no memory even of my existence.
It was a good few years back now and although at the time i was furious I can laugh about it now. It has become a legend among my friends. I live on the other side if the country, but each time I communicate with friends the " remember when bunny boiler moved into silly's house by stealth" (or not by stealth maybe) comes up
She was an interesting character on reflection, from a purely psychiatric viewpoint. I work in that field and I am convinced she had a personality disorder of some sort, but could never decide which. She presented as so sweet and vulnerable but was a pathological liar and had a victim mentality. She used people ruthlessly and was bone idle at work, slinking in late and doing nothing. Many complaints were made about her but management just enabled her. She was sly and cunning and played people off each other. A real piece of work.
I have a positive mindset and believe good comes from bad and just move on from shit. She went on to have an affair with another very vulnerable friends fiancé. The fiancé bled my friend dry and he and bunny sailed off into the sunset when the money ran out. A real bitch. In between she moved in with yet another friend who ended up evicting her pronto with masses of drama involved.
Oh the stories I could tell of my DfosterSis! She had a hard life before she came to us, no doubt about that, but since then she seems to be of the opinion that the whole world owes her & she's always playing the victim or crying poverty when most of the situations she gets herself into are of her own making.
She's a single mother & used to really struggle looking after her DD alone so when I got married & moved an hour away I thought I'd be kind & offer to have her DD for the odd w/e. "Great!" said she, "So if you can pick her up on the Friday & bring her back on the Sunday..." The plan every time was for her to bring DN & we'd bring her back but every time the w/e approached she'd cry poverty & insist that she couldn't afford the petrol so we, young newly-weds on one salary
me with depression, would traipse back & forth just so we could have the honour of DN's company, with DFSis calling every hour to see how she was coping & upsetting her. DN would've been fine without all the phone calls!
This would be the same 'poverty-stricken' DFSis who would buy her DD literally dozens of presents at Christmas time & take her abroad several times a year. She insists she must buy her DD so many presents because she's all DN has - she doesn't have lots of family like I did growing up apparently. This comment was made at my parents' house at Christmas with my other 2 siblings doting on DN while she referred to my parents as her grandparents. Don't get me wrong, I adore DN & love having her as a part of my family but it really stung when DFSis insisted she didn't have any 'real' family. We'd been there for her as her surrogate family for 20 years before that conversation! As an aside, I lived over an hour away from our extended family as a child, 3+ hours from most of them. DFSis lived less than a 2-minute walk away from my parents & DSis. DN had much more of an active extended family than I ever did.
Some of DFSis's attitude seems to have rubbed off on DB. When he got married he & DSIL decided they couldn't have too many bridesmaids etc so they asked her 2 sisters, her best friend, my sister & DN1. DN2 was also bought a matching dress, although she was quite young so wasn't officially part of the wedding party. My DH was an usher. I was given a special job to do too though, y'know, so I didn't feel left out. I was to be in charge of the children's entertainment. Because I like organising such things, apparently. I had to organise party bags for all the children attending
most of whom didn't turn up & arrange an area, using my own DS's toys, for children to go if they struggled to sit still during the meal. The day before & on their wedding day it was muggins here who was helping with all the last minute prep, no bridesmaids in sight, except occasionally my DSis. This while juggling my 1yo DS1 who's only a few months younger than my younger DN who was bought the dress & being 5 weeks pregnant & very queasy with DS2 but of course no-one knew about the pregnancy because I didn't want to detract from their special day. Neither DS1 nor I were in any of the photos & I got no thanks for any of the things I did. The bridesmaids who put on dresses & followed her up the aisle were extensively & publicly thanked for their 'input'. All I'd have expected was a private thank you or a little note.
I have spent a long time reading this thread from beginning to end. Some absolute jaw droppers on here! The Mexican house thief!! The dog towel lady!! The Alegerian holiday guest!!!
My bil (dh's brother) has the brassiest of any neck, I have ever had the misfortune to meet! Thi is probably going to be quite long, so well done if you make it to the end.
11 years ago when he was 30, he was slung out of his flatshare situation for non payment of rent and bills. Mil covered what was owed, and to save him from getting into any more trouble, offered for him to stay with her and her dh (sfil) until such a time as he could sort himself out.
Now...it's worth mentioning that mil and her dh live in the family home that her dh grew up in. He moved in with his own (first) wife and children when his parents became infirm, to look after them, and he raised his own kids in the same house after his parents died. I think he has lived in that house for some 40 years now, not counting his childhood.
Anyway - he was agreeable to bil moving in for a bit, and for a while everything was ok - bil didn't offer anything up by way of digs (even though he had a full time job), but they overlooked it, only too happy to help out. Sfil mentioned to me on a few occasions how lazy and entitled bil was, not lifting a finger to help, and lying in his bed whining about being ill all the time (bil is a hypochondriac, and just has to have something wrong with him all the time) but because he loves his wife, he was prepared to live with it and not interfere.
"I'll just let mil deal with him - it's no skin off my nose."
After about three years of staying with them in this fashion, bil announces that in three days, he has an online friend flying in to stay for a week. An American woman that he had met on facebook and struck up a friendship with. Mil and sfil tell him he was very presumptious not to clear it with them first before she booked her flights, but nevertheless, they gut out the spare room for her (no help from bil - he is 'too tired'), and accept they are getting a houseguest.
The woman arrives as scheduled, and as soon as she is through the door, holes up in bil's room and refuses to come out while bil is at work. Mil and sfil get on with their lives, with an uninvited guest who won't speak to them, lurking upstairs. The week comes and goes, and still the American woman remains. Mil tentatively approaches her and asks how much longer she is planning on staying, only to be told that the visit is in fact, for two months, and not only that....but that she and bil got married last week, and she was now his wife!!
Of course, none of us were invited to the wedding that we knew nothing about, and there was shock all round that he could be so utterly reckless as to marry someone he had known in person for all of a week! Not only that, but he had not even extended an invitation to his own mother, from whom they were both syphoning off, eating their food, and paying nothing towards their keep.
After the two months were up, she fucked off back to America, and promptly demanded that bil send her regular money to pay for a nursing course it turned out she wasn't doing. God knows where the cash went (it was thousands) but after a year she divorced him because she met someone else anyway.
The years wore on, with him staying with mil and sfil for free, and working full time. His job changed and he was by this time, on permanent nightshift.
Bil demanded that there be no noise at all during the day, as he had to sleep...so sfil's activities were curtailed in his own house. He was no longer allowed to use power tools or listen to the radio, as it kept bil awake, and any visitors they had were made to feel unwelcome by bil glaring at them and slamming doors because he had been woken up. This included dh and myself, and our children. We live just around the corner from mil and sfil, and pop in often. After being subjected to the glaring and slamming routine once, I chased after him and told him to get his own fucking house to rule over.
After that, I was dead to him. He refused to look at me, never mind talk to me, and visitations became extremely tense, to the point where we stopped going round, and mil came to us instead.
Dh and I started to discuss the fact that over 10 years of staying with them, bil had manipulated and worn them down so much with his tales of woe, and victim complex, they had lost sight of what was normal. We gently urged them to kick him out to fend for himself (he was 40 by this time) but he had such a tight grip on them feeling sorry for him, they were unable to see the wood for the trees, and although they were miserable, they couldn't see their way to getting rid of this dreadful bully who lorded it over their house. Mil was convinced he could not cope alone, and sfil went along with it so as not to upset her. He was becoming quietly furious though, and I could tell the shit was going to hit the fan.
Eventually it did - and how! Once again bil announced that he was flying a woman over from Argentina for a two week holiday over Christmas, with only days of notice. Once again mil gutted out the spare room with no help from bil who was still 'too tired'. Once again a total stranger turned up at their house to stay.
Wise to him from before, as soon as she arrived, sfil asked her how long her visit was for, and lo and behold it was another two month guest!! Sfil challenged bil on his lies, and bil insisted that they had heard him wrong and he HAD told them it was for two months this time, and that sfil was just being vindictive by insisting that bil had clearly said two weeks, NOT two months. He accused sfil of driving a wedge between him and his mother, who didn't know WHAT to do, as she felt her loyalties were being torn.
Well that was it - sfil hit the roof and and then some!! He called the pair of them down from bils room, and told them straight that he would be taken the piss out of no longer. He laid out new house rules, whereby bil would contribute x amount to the household, cook his own meals, wash his own clothes, and that he (sfil) would listening to all the radio he fucking liked, and he would use power tools from dawn till dusk if he damn well felt like it, and that bil's reign of terror was now at an absolute end, and if he didn't like it he could fuck off and find someone else to sponge off for the next decade.
Bil was outraged!! He could not believe that sfil would dare stand up to him, and he immediately packed a case and moved himself and the Argentinian into a hotel, saying that he wouldn't stay there and put up with sfil's shit if you paid him! Of course, he could easily afford the hotel, because he had spent a decade paying for nothing himself.
Sfil told him that while he was in the hotel, he'd better start looking for alternative accomodation, as he was never setting foot inside his house...that's right laddo...HIS house, as a resident - ever again.
The Argentinian woman cut short her trip by a month after becoming unwell (she suffers from Crohns disease) and apparently that was sfil's fault too. According to bil, sfil's 'bullying' upset her so much, it exaserbated her condition and ruined their time together.
Bil did find himself a flat...and today, a year on, he still refuses to speak to sfil. If sfil is to be in attendence at a family gathering, bil won't go. He tells all and sundry that sfil threatened him, and that sfil is unstable and he is frightened of him, and that he's worried for his mum being married to such a brute.
He now attends a bi-monthly support group for the adult victims of parental abuse.
How's THAT for a brass neck?
Wow, pict, what an utter tosser! That takes some beating.
It's crazy isn't it?
You'd think by reading that that sfil and mil are a pair of drips who allowed this to happen...but trust me, they really are not. They are both extremely intelligent and motivated people, who I admire.
They just happen to be really kind and easy going, and the whole thing was truly born of wanting to help.
Bil is an extremely manipulative individual...he is a professional victim...nothing is ever his own fault, and his mum carries round a guilt complex as heavy as a ton of shit. She's not stupid, but despite appearing a bit stern to the casual observer, she's actually a real softy, who loves her sons unto the ends of the earth.
...a fact that bil has exploited for his own ends, for as long as I have known him...which is 16 years now.
He now attends a bi-monthly support group for the adult victims of parental abuse.
I must admit I laughed out loud when I read this bit. the cheeky bastard!!!!
If I were you, I'd laugh too.
Unfortunately, as I am forced to associate with the self important, entitled, selfish, using, manipulative, lying scrote, it makes me want to wring his scrawny neck.
My ex is the type who believes that when you borrow something, the onus is on the other pseron to ask for it back. He has a garage full of stuff that isn't his. He will always ask around all his acquaintances for something before resorting to having to buy it - most recently for a cheap phone battery...
Plus when I used to ask him to 'babysit' our ds, he would turn up with washing to run through my machine, numbers for calls he wanted to make on my landline, he'd bring his electric shaver and phone charger to use my electricity, and when I came home he'd not only made himself dinner, but also a bag of sandwiches for his lunch the next day. I half-expected him to smuggle toilet rolls out of the house under his jacket. He is that cheap and mean that he always looks to financially maximise every situation in his favour.
Oh, and he used to be very keen to take our ds's old toys to the charity shop. Recently I found out he re-gifted them straight away to his dd's children. Worst of all, I found out the charity shop clothes he bought me when we were going out were his teenage dd's. Fancy wanting to feel someone up when they're wearing your daughters clothes?!
My story is a bit tame in comparison....
Old friend (daughter of family friends) that I'd known all my life and got on with v well.
We're both French, I was living in London on a shitty salary (early 20s first job). She had a work placement in the States so though she'd come to London to practice her English.
She showed up for two months. No gifts or anything- she didn't buy any communal stuff/food for the house and kept all the food she bought for herself in her room.
I told her she could use my phone (free contract) so she used to call home nearly every day and speak really loudly in the loving room while I was watching TV. Every time.
One weekend I was away so she invited her sister and sister's BF to stay. They slept in my bed (I didn't even know they were coming) and not only did they not change the sheets, they didn't even make the bed.
The day before she left she told me 'I love your lipstick (Rimmel's Heather Shimmer . I've been wearing it every day (thanks for letting me know) so I had to go and buy myself some more before I left'
Finally the last night I took her out for drinks with some friends. Beginning of the evening she announces proudly 'I've budgeted so well I just have enough money for my travel card tomorrow!'. So we had to buy her rounds all night....
Worst thing is she used to go on to me about how brave she was for having left home and gone abroad all by her self and all her friends were so impressed... Easy when you're staying with a mate who bankrolls your stay!
Needless to say I never got any thank you gifts.
have a couple to add to this, even though it's a bit old!
have namechanged (i hope) as they would possibly out me in real life
a friend of a friend was getting married. Her grandmother very kindly paid for pretty much the whole wedding, it was not a cheap do either
She then refused to invite the grandmother to her wedding because she had alzheimers and would embarrass her!!!
and the other one. a friend of mine was due her second baby. Her husband is from abroad and thought it would be nice if his family came over to visit the baby when it was born.
their visit was planned for a couple of weeks after her due date.
unfortunately baby was nearly exactly 2 weeks late.
My friend arrived home from hospital with a baby who she was struggling to breastfeed (so lots of expressing and crying and general new-baby-ness going on) to a houseful of Italian relatives who were staying WITH THEM!
she was expected to cook for them etc etc and worse of all, her husband let this happen!
'she was expected to cook for them etc etc and worse of all, her husband let this happen!'
And she did it? I'd have told them all to fuck off.
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.