Have you ever encountered anyone this cheeky?(632 Posts)
roughly by a couple of threads recently...
I used to have a friend (used to being the operative) who would come round to my house to smoke. Her reason being that she didn't want her house to smell like smoke and she didn't like smoking in the street as she thought it looked 'common' (her words)
The punchline being that I didn't smoke
That friendship ended when I saw the light and realised that she was using me! She was happy enough to make my house stink and I was too polite (at the time) to ask her not to as I thought I was being a welcoming host.
Has anyone encountered anyone with more brass neck than that?
How could I forget my stepmother, df died leaving her very well provided for (he was the managing director of a very successful company) a huge detached house, a couple of cars, lump sum and a very generous pension. My GM outlived him but at the time of his death was in a nursing home.
Df paid an allowance to his DM so that she could have little luxuries, buy herself new clothes etc. When df died my stepmother stopped the allowance saying there had to be cutbacks now she didn't have df's salary which was laughable as the pension and lump sum would have covered df's salary and the house was mortgage free.
Then she really outdid herself when GM died and she refused to pay for the funeral even though it was df's wish that it was paid for from his estate (dh and I funded the funeral bill) but she turned up and demanded that she lead the mourners into church.
Mind you we should have expected it really as she wanted to sell df's belongings to me and my brothers and sisters when we asked for something to remember him by.
These remind me of my best friend's SIL who sold them her buggy when she had a baby then asked for it back when her friend had a baby and just took it and didn't offer them any money even though she had made them pay top second hand price for it!
Some of these people remind me of the Caroline Ahearne character in The Royale Family
Oh I have thought of another one! I can't believe this slipped my mind...
A few years ago a middle-aged neighbour turned up to a quiet family event, completely uninvited. He was clearly rip roaringly drunk but as the person who answered the door wasn't sure if he'd been invited, they let him in anyway. First of all he got stuck into the booze. Then he cornered one of the family to explain at great length, with added swearing and gesticulation, just why it was he'd lost his job recently. Then he tried it on with the (teenage) girlfriend of one of the family. Then he resisted all attempts to get him to leave, so had to be physically ejected by four burly men.
All of this would be pretty cheeky for a house party. However it was not a house party....
It was a wake.
Still can't believe the utter gall of some people !
I used to have a friend (note the used to) who was so, so tight it was painful.
I was a student between 18 and 24 and she dropped out of school at 17 and started working. I had a research grant for my Postgrad which I could live on, but she earnt more than me . She used to always do certain tricks to ensure that I paid for her and as I was a total mug / idiot / stupid cretin, I let her get away with it for years, for example:
1.Whenever we caught up and went to a coffee shop, shed let me walk in the door first which meant I was in the queue first so inevitably, I would ask her What do you want? and be the one to pay for it.
2.She had money issues so wasnt allowed a credit card or a debit card she could only use cash, and when wed go out for (cheap) meals, shed say Oh, I dont have any money on me, Ill have to pay you back when the bill came which meant Id pay for the meal and shed never pay me back. (Yes, I needed to grow a backbone but I hated and still do hate asking friends for money)
3.Shed always work out exactly how much she owed, so on the rare occasion she actually did pay her way, shed pay for exactly what shed had and nothing more. To save embarrassment, Id always put 10% in for a tip as I felt it wasnt the waiter / waitresses fault that my friend was tight.
4.Shes always have an excuse as to why she couldnt drive, meaning that I would use my petrol to drive us around places and shed never offer petrol money.
When I graduated and started earning more money than her, she used to say to me Oh, you earn more than me, so you can pay and then she went to Uni to do an HND at the age of 27, so then it was Oh, Im a student and you earn loads so you can pay ..
Yes, I did FINALLY develop a backbone after buying Take That tickets for myself and her .. I bought them a good 4 months before the concert. She didnt pay me back before, we went to the concert together.. she still didnt pay me back and something just snapped inside me, so I asked her for the money. She pleaded poverty, and then I saw on Facebook she was bored of revision so had gone shopping instead. So, the next time we met up, we went for a meal and she did the whole Oh, can you pay and Ill pay you back? lark, I said no I only had cash, I didnt have my wallet and she went white. I said Id pay for my half and she could sort her own half out she was really scared turns out she had no cash on her, nor any in the bank. I asked her why she thought it was acceptable to do this to me and she said But youve always paid (serves me right, I was such a wimp) and I said no more that I wanted the money for the Take That Tickets and she would have to sort her 50% of the meal out . Paid my 50% to the waiter and walked out the restaurant.
The thing that really got me was the fact that as a student or someone who doesnt earn lots, I was always really aware that you dont want to go to fancy places and sometimes eating a sarnie at home is better than going out to eat I ALWAYS suggested we eat at our homes, rather than go to places as didnt want to pressure her into spending money she didnt have . But she always said it was fine going out (well, duh.. as I was the one paying!)
Theres a bigger back story with her when we were both 17, I had had a boyfriend for 2 years (first love and all that). It turns out that my boyfriend always preferred her and they were sleeping together behind my back. I found out, we split and she dated him for 2 years . Only to get pregnant, have an abortion, her Mother found out and as she was strongly pro life, she kicked my friend out the house, hence why my friend dropped out of A levels and had to get a job , getting herself into debt etc. Apparently the first words out of my exes mouth after my friend had the abortion was So how long until we can have sex? I was devastated when I found out that one of my best friends was sleeping with my boyfriend but years on, God, I dodged a bullet!!!! Funnily enough, he ended up cheating on her with her Boss he used to pop in the shop to say hello to my friend, but it was actually the Boss he wanted to see.
When I found out about them, I stopped talking to her for 5 years, but after she dumped him and re-started her life, she contacted me through a mutual friend, begging forgiveness and I, like an idiot forgave her.
This thread is like a car crash.
These things are so terrible but I can't tear my eyes away
Lisa How did she get out of paying for her meal?
I am loving these cheeky fuckers! Mine's mild in comparison.
My uncle's wife is only a few years older than me and they have two small children. She works 2 days a week. My mum picks them up from school one day, DAunt's mum the other. One week her mum was on holiday so my mum did both days. DAunt did not appreciate her mum taking term time holidays so told my mum "I told her to shove her childcare! So you'll be doing both days from now on!" My mum does too. DA was less than impressed when I announced my pregnancy, she asked what she'd do for childcare now if DM had my kid. First thing out of her mouth!
repeatedly badgered me about offered me their old cot and I sent DP to collect it. she shoved a bin bag full of completely broken toys in despite being told repeatedly I didn't want them. She also told DP I wanted him to collect her old mattress, which I'd refused on the basis it'd been used twice and stored in the loft for a couple of years. Luckily he was with me when I ordered the new one so checked with me. The response? Well I thought you could just take them to the tip while you're off. Yep nothing 8 month pregnant women love more than carrying mattresses around tips. That's what maternity leave's for.
lisa, what did she do when you walked ot of the restaurant?
lisac99 what a parasitic 'friend'! Did she get out of paying then, or did she have a lot of washing up to do?
I must point out that this thread is disturbingly addictive. I have been trying to prep work for tomorrow, and what should normally take half an hour tops, is still work - in - progress ha!
I woke up to squealing noises outside my bedroom window at 7am on a bank holiday. Looked in the garden and found that next door neighbour's kids were playing on our trampoline, and ndn was standing there, fondly watching them! She had unbolted our side gate and let her dch in our back garden!
..........and I started at around 11 this morning!!!
Friend was gobsmacked when I started putting my coat on, but I really was just Grrrr by that point (I think this had been going on for a good, what? 7 years at this point, so was well overdue). Funnily enough, I DID get the money back for the Take That tickets the week after she emailed me (as I was ignoring her texts and calls) and told me that she had had to phone her parents (Dad is retired, Mother works as a cleaner so not a lot of spare cash) to do an emergency bank transfer so that she could have money in her account to pay for the meal. I dont actually know if she was able to get the money that night, or whether she had to go back the next day when the money was in her account, but either way, she told me that she got her parents to transfer cash over to her.
Thing was, she was apparently £250 over her agreed overdraft (which is stupid as I thought if you had cash issues, you werent allowed to go over your overdraft?) maybe it was because she was a student So her parents had to put in £265 so she could pay £15 for the meal!
She and I had a big heart to heart, she apologised, admitted she was jealous as my life had turned out so much better than hers and that she had used the fact I didnt like confrontation to take the piss big time.
She said it wouldnt happen again and that she would always pay her way I was like OK, fine, whatever. I used to work as an IT Consultant so was working 150 miles away from home and she went to the Uni in the same place that I was working, so actually it was handy to have someone to do stuff with in the weekday evenings as I didnt get on with a lot of work colleagues and didnt have any friends living in the area.
I actually stuck to my plan of ONLY taking out cash (well, my debit card was tucked into my jeans but she didnt know that) so she had no choice but to pay 50% for everything. I really thought we had turned the corner, she was paying for coffees, things were going well
She then suggested we go to the Spa that Im a member of you can take 2 guests and pay £50 per guest as opposed to the £120 for a day visit. She said shed pay the £50 entry and we could go, get a treatment and have a nice day. I said fine . I had my members card and she got a guest card which you use instead of cash / debit cards, so at the end of the day, anything youve bought is just on the card and you pay it off at the end.
She said to me Rather than using both cards, why dont we just use your card and Ill pay you the £50, plus whatever food and treatments I have at the end of the day? I said Sure, however can you give me the money now, just so I dont forget? she got all funny, then admitted she didnt have any cash on her and that she was thinking shed pay me back the next time she saw me I said no, that wasnt acceptable and considering all the times before, Id rather have the money up front. She accused me of not trusting her and ruining the day, I said I really didnt care and if she wanted to drive to a cash point, thats her choice but I wasnt walking to reception with her and signing her in as a guest unless she gave me the cash beforehand (we were in the car at this point, at the spa just ready to go in)
She drove off .. Ive not seen her since. That was last year.
She has tried to contact me twice on email Hey! Its been ages, do you fancy meeting up before Christmas? type thing, but Ive not replied and shes now not contacted me for over 4 months .
I finally got a backbone!
Miranda Did you say anything to them or did you let them carry on?
she wasn't going to go quietly was she!
Good for you for sticking to your principles
lisac99, well done. She must have cost you thousands over the years.
I dont know how much she cost me, I am the first to admit that Im quite lucky in my career (OK, so got myself a Ph.D that I worked hard for and had the obligatory student loan!) and as Im not married and dont have any children, I do have a lot of disposable income.
Therefore I dont usually care what stuff costs and I really, really do enjoy treating friends and family to things I am very happy to pay for things usually, but I guess it just grated on me that it was expected and when she never used to say to me Oh, by the way, heres the tenner you lent me the other day.
Due to this friend, though.. I think I made my sisters and friends paranoid, as whenever we go anywhere and I say Ill get this, they say Oh, no, its my turn, after all, I dont want to be like <insert friends name> and that makes me cringe and makes me wonder if I basically should have manned up years ago and just told my friend to stop taking the piss, rather than simmer with resentment for years and vent at other, totally lovely people.
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