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Today I Am Packing A Bag And Leaving

(717 Posts)
DoneWithItAllNow Thu 13-Dec-12 11:38:40

I can't do this anymore. I have been taking a cocktail of antidepressants and beta blockers for two years plus having counselling for depression and anxiety and I was just starting to think things were getting better.

Then I properly opened my eyes and looked around me. I saw the state of this flat, what I have been subjecting my disabled husband to for the past 18 months. Oh my God, I am so ashamed and I can't believe I am writing this but I need someone to judge me and tell me how terrible I am and it will be best coming from strangers over the Internet.

My house is a shit-tip. I don't mean a mess, I mean an absolute shit tip. And I can't face doing anything about it. We have not used our kitchen for 18 months. It is a mess of washing up never done, mould and dead flies. We do not even make tea in there and DH has a microwave ready meal each night cooked in a microwave so filthy that I am surprised I have not poisoned him. I live on biscuits, cabs of coke, whatever I can keep in the lounge. There is a leftover chicken casserole in my fridge that I cooked in May 2010 for fuck sake.

I cannot face dealing with it. The rest of the flat is no better. There are piles of washing everywhere as all I have washed is underwear and essential work stuff.

I called a cleaning company to ask for help. I wanted to see how much they would charge just to sort the kitchen. The lady who came out told me nobody will do it. Apparently it is classed as "gross filth" and I would have to employ a specialist team "like you see on Grime Squad." I know I could never afford that.

This place is damp and falling apart. The landlord doesn't care and we need to move. Seven months ago I had a ceiling fall in but I can't tell the landlord as he will come round and I can't let him see this place in this state.

So today I am packing a bag and leaving. I don't know where yet but I have to go. It is either that or something more drastic. DH will be better off without me. I have no real friends but I know that people will rally round to help the poor disabled man who's wife has left him with this to deal with. It will be better for all of us.

I can't believe I let things get like this. I don't know why I am posting this. I just need to get it in writing somewhere.

AlmostAHipster Mon 07-Jan-13 19:11:29

Yay! smile

forgetmenots Mon 07-Jan-13 19:07:54

Hooray! Well deserved! smile

JaxTellerIsMyFriend Mon 07-Jan-13 18:58:42

OMG! This has made it into classics! grin

EmpressOfThePuddle Sat 05-Jan-13 23:41:16


forgetmenots Sat 05-Jan-13 23:38:42

Consider yourself reported Empress smile

EmpressOfThePuddle Sat 05-Jan-13 23:25:46

The quickest way to nominate a thread for Classics is to report one of its posts.

This is a fabulous thread - the very best of MN!

JaxTellerIsMyFriend Sat 05-Jan-13 16:37:10

done how are you?

JaxTellerIsMyFriend Wed 02-Jan-13 00:57:20

hi done was thinking of you today.

Glad things are still ticking along and you are de cluttering. grin

Happy New Year to you!

Baby steps everyone - Rome wasnt built in a day.

Now I am off to start a thread on steam mops! I live life on the edge. wink

BoerWarKids Tue 01-Jan-13 15:59:05

DoneWithItAll Well done! You've done fantastically well and you've been an inspiration to me smile

MrsPennyApple Thank you. You made a really good point on it not being perfect by 1st Jan. In the past, I've had an all-or-nothing approach and it not being 'right' by New Year's Day would've meant I felt disheartened and given up.
I'm trying to be kinder to myself and do little bits here and there and to feel pleased with that smile

MrsPennyapple Tue 01-Jan-13 12:21:48

Well done Done! You have done brilliantly.

forgetmenots Sun 30-Dec-12 10:48:58

Well done on the extra decluttering done - hope you and your husband had a lovely Christmas smile

Astelia Sun 30-Dec-12 07:25:16

What a heart warming thread! Congratulations to everyone who has helped Done and who has been inspired to tackle their houses. I am determined to declutter my basement after reading all this!

DoneWithItAllNow Sun 30-Dec-12 04:29:17

Hi everyone,

I'm still here smile but haven't been around much as Christmas is rather manic when you are involved in the pub industry!

My kitchen is still clean and so is my bathroom. We have done some more decluttering in the lounge too - five bags now gone to the charity shop! I also eventually got all my Christmas cards done just in time for the main event.

How is everyone else getting on?

HipHopOpotomus Sun 30-Dec-12 02:43:45

I am tired and emotional

This thread has me crying. I also feel like getting up and cleaning (it's 2.43 am).

Proper proper proud of you lot. smile

WildImaginings Sun 30-Dec-12 02:02:23

How do you nominate for classics? This thread has brought a tear to my eye.
It's shown me that there are some truly lovely people out there, on a day that has otherwise been shit!

forgetmenots Sat 29-Dec-12 22:18:42

Just saw this thread - how do you nominate for Classics? This is just lovely smile hope all is going well done, furry and the rest.

thanks to Laurie and jax, how kind.

MrsPennyapple Sat 29-Dec-12 21:02:27

Well done Boer! It's an ongoing process, so don't worry if it's not all perfect by 1st Jan. Every little thing you do makes a difference, so just keep on doing little things when you can, it all adds up.

BoerWarKids Sat 29-Dec-12 20:25:54

Thank you, Slainte smile

Slainte Sat 29-Dec-12 08:06:09

Well done Boer that must give you such a great feeling to know that you're on the way to living the life you want to live. Here's to 2013 - may it be your year smile

BoerWarKids Sat 29-Dec-12 01:25:24

Hi everyone

I've done about half the washing up, I've put out more rubbish, sorted and put out all my recycling, filled a bag for the charity shop and swept my kitchen floor.

Haven't really dealt with the bathroom yet, just put bleach down the loo, hairunblocker in the shower plug hole and scrubbed the sink.

Feeling better already smile I'll try to push on the next couple of days and have it looking clean for 1st Jan. Start 2013 as I mean to go on!

How is the OP doing?

MrsPennyapple Mon 24-Dec-12 23:37:27

Hi Boer (I was TiredofZombies, I've namechanged)

It totally makes sense about not feeling clean after a shower. Can you maybe assign yourself one task at a time? Eg, clean bathroom sink. That doesn't take long but makes a huge difference, I find my bathroom looks a lot worse if the sink is dirty. Just take one thing at a time, do what you can. Good on you for volunteering over Christmas, btw!

Happy Christmas everyone.

JaxTellerIsMyFriend Mon 24-Dec-12 22:32:17

Wishing all the de clutter gang and those cleaning a very Merry Christmas.


snowflakehellokitty Mon 24-Dec-12 19:26:13

well done done with i had to check back in grin
you r a star
you are doing so well

CremeEggThief Sun 23-Dec-12 21:36:55

Just to say keep going, Boer. Getting rid of the rubbish is definitely one of the main jobs!

Hope you enjoyed your volunteering.

I tend to break things down into smaller tasks, especially if they are things I don't enjoy like ironing and its amazing how much gets done over a day or two.

Everything you've done today counts and its amazing how it all adds together to make a big change to your surroundings.

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