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I think my baby must have a wonky widget

(206 Posts)
McPhee Sun 16-Sep-12 17:26:46

because it never ruddy sleeps!! I've had possession of this tiny human for 11 weeks now. I thought maybe it was jetlagged, or had settling in issues. You know, like when you get a new freezer?

But...mine keeps running on maximum speed, but the battery doesn't seem to discharge at a 'normal' rate? Some bugger installed a dynamo in mine hmm

Seriously. Is mine faulty?? Can I disconnect the Dynamo?

Does yours sleep, and if so how many hours during the day

Don't worry, McPhee, in a mere 14 or 15 years the no-sleeping malfunction will self-rectify - to be replaced by grunts-and-hibernates-under-duvet setting - but removing the model from the packaging duvet will require heavy machinery.

McPhee Sun 16-Sep-12 21:58:00

There are manual upgrades as well?

I may have to seek outside support for these.


Mine has finally shut down. It will no doubt recharge and its internal GPS will bring in to my bed.

Mine upgrades till the 3.00 in 2 month. How have you not broke yours in 15 year?! You must have a breakdown service

Help! I need an urgent repair! Mines been screaming for 2 hours now, thats not normal is it?

RollerCola Sun 16-Sep-12 22:22:28

In 'The Future' when we all have version 25.0 they will run completely by themselves & won't need any programming from us at all. We'll all look back and laugh at all the fuss the 1st Generation models caused.

My mum will be happy to hear that's as I'm 21.00 model grin still malfunction now and again

McPhee Sun 16-Sep-12 23:00:29

I'm checking yellow pages for you English

<frantic fumbling>

I'm the 37.00 model and I still malfunction blush

ThisOnce Sun 16-Sep-12 23:07:30

I saw the title and assumed you had wee flying at all angles grin

McPhee Sun 16-Sep-12 23:12:51


Oh I never thought of that!

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Mon 17-Sep-12 10:01:05

I have the 16.00 male model. He seems to have sprouted hair all over and be cultivating a layer of mould! Is the smell normal? Is it possible that a rat may have entered the inner circuits and died?

McPhee Mon 17-Sep-12 10:06:06

In my experience with the male 16.00, as soon as a female 16.00 comes within close proximity, this is normally rectified.

<hands wipes>

me23 Mon 17-Sep-12 10:11:36

Phew thisOnce I thought I was the only one who assumed this was a thread about a wonky willy grin

I also have a faulty 1.6 18 months of malfunctioning sleep mode!

The 2.10 version I own has had multiple malfunctions. Can't wait for the co owner to come collect it tomorrow.

It's whine has turned into a full on breakdown scream. It has leaking peep holes too which I don't think is meant to happen.

amck5700 Mon 17-Sep-12 10:45:31

Sorry to tell you Iseethreadpeople. I have two very bright boys who both slept (apart from the odd glitch when ill) right from in hospital. The childminder who looked after No1 was basically just looking at a sleeping child half the day and he still slept through every night. No2 even as a toddler would sleep for 2-3 hours every afternoon and still go to bed at 7ish for the best part of 12 hours smile They are both very tall for their age so I think they needed the sleep to grow.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Mon 17-Sep-12 10:50:11

Wipes? McPhee? I'm more tempted to steam clean him!

IAmSheWhoMustBeObeyed Mon 17-Sep-12 10:50:44

My v.3 5.11 model does not have an off button. The co-owner and I have looked extensively and intensively for one but it is simply missing and tbh this can cause massive malfunction within every unit in the house.
V.1 13 model however has entered the hibernation mode and her battery needs a lot more recharging at weekends. However there is a slight malfunction ATM as although the top outer 'hair' part is cleaned every morning the rest of the unit is not maintained for days unless forced into the cleaning device (shower)

DinosaursOnASpaceship Mon 17-Sep-12 10:57:24

I think mine must have fallen off the back of a lorry or something and I have no warranty or guarantee for it. It's 15 months old now and will still only sleep on me, day or night. It also has a leak and continually leaves trails of snot and wee around, requires loads of maintaince as the ventilation nose gets blocked constantly and there is no volume control especially during the night. Maybe it is light sensitive and the darkness sets off an alarm. Who knows.

I will be purchasing from a well known provided next time, with customer feedback!

timetosmile Mon 17-Sep-12 11:00:20

Was I the only one who read the thread title and thought it must be about advice needed for a circumcision? blush

Mine finally went into standby at 10.40 last night. It's definitely faulty though, it kept squeaking and rolling every 2 hours and is emitting a sniveling noise today.

I don't think I'll be buying another, one is enough for me grin

Goatbongosanonymous Mon 17-Sep-12 12:07:07

Mine seems to have battery life problems. It spends most of the time plugged into one of my two recharge outlets.
8 weeks means it is still under warranty, right? Especially as they delivered two months before the agreed delivery date? ( they were lucky to catch me - I nearly wasn't in that day.)

WidowWadman Mon 17-Sep-12 12:38:22

Mine's come with a tilt switch which can't be disabled. Sleeps fine when held upright against ones chest, as soon as laid down will open eyes and scream bloody murder

BrainSurgeon Mon 17-Sep-12 12:54:41

Haver you tried Ctrl+Alt+Del,followed by End Task


StabbyMacStabby Mon 17-Sep-12 13:04:05

Mine did that too Widow. Also, the location detector module was wa-ay too oversensitive and could detect when the model was put into a moses basket, no matter how gently, carefully and s-l-o-w-l-y it was laid down. Then that triggered the alarm, and we had no idea how to override the alarm. It had no volume setting either.

One feature which really derailed us was the one where the unit detected that all the house lights had been turned off, and promptly filled the anti-soiling protection device from the lower external outlet. We were stunned at just how long this function went on for; it seemed like whole minutes. Then it transpired, notified via the alarm, that we had to get out of bed straight away to replace the now brimming over filled device with a clean one. (We looked like this shockshock)

You just can't negotiate with the earlier models. We tried it occasionally, when we were desperate. But we just looked like fools. <bitter>

TheFogsGettingThicker Mon 17-Sep-12 13:17:35

My 5.1 seems to have dislodged or broken some internal wiring - maybe someone knocked it over or spilt juice on it while at the external facility? - as the sleep function, (which was working perfectly up to now) won't shut down when it should in the evenings, and therefore is still in sleep mode in the morning when I need it to be starting the external facility program.

There is a lot of whining and sometimes it makes shrill squeals and shrieks, then crashes and I have to reboot a lot.

I seem to recall a manual, but it was for an earlier version. This one seems to have been upgrading while in sleep mode. <ponders> I'm sure I pressed "install later"...

DashingRedhead Mon 17-Sep-12 13:29:22

My v1.5.10 emits a constant chattering sound while I think my v2.2.11 has the wrong sound card - meant for the Rock Star deluxe app? Anyone know anything about how to deactivate? The later version is also fairly faulty in sleep mode, but I think that's quite a common problem and nobody I know has been able to solve that. The upgrade that I got with v1 at about 9 months just didn't work with v2.

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