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Please help me with my 'Little Book of Hindsight' for DS's 18th

(205 Posts)
LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Fri 14-Sep-12 08:19:51


My DS is 18 on Monday. (sob)

As my parents died when I was in my early 20s and I've really missed their advice over the years, I've bought a gorgeous little book and I'm writing in it all the things I think it's useful to know. I've called it 'The Little Book of Hindsight ... or How Not To Bugger It Up'

I've put funny things in as well as serious things eg the correct response when a woman asks if her bum looks big in this (and an example of an incorrect response for fun). I've said try to save 1/4 of your net income etc etc.

I know he needs to learn by his own mistakes but I thought this would be nice - and it isn't a book of rules.

He knows I'm writing it and likes the idea but asked for it to be funny.

Please can you help.

elportodelgato Fri 14-Sep-12 12:48:46

my dad used to say every morning: "It's time to get up and hit the day between the eyeballs!" which is a great attitude to have

maintain a good credit rating, it will follow you around forever if you don't

nurture your friendships - boyfriends and girlfriends may come and go but good friendships will see you through all your ups and downs

Finally, a much used quote which I love (not sure who from) is: "Dance like nobody's watching; love like you've never been hurt. Sing like nobody's listening; live like it's heaven on earth"

Nancy66 Fri 14-Sep-12 12:50:19

lessons in love:

wanting/trying/yearning to be with someone who does not want to be with you is the biggest most soul destroying waste of time in the world.
Hold out for someone who will return your feelings.

shrinkingnora Fri 14-Sep-12 12:52:12

Never put your tongue where you wouldn't put your toothbrush.

newbiebaby Fri 14-Sep-12 12:57:16

Don't worry about it until its happened

And can I just say idea of book brought lump to my throat as I too lost my parents in my 20s - lovely lovely ideasmile

CMOTDibbler Fri 14-Sep-12 13:02:16

Don't be afraid to admit things are wrong. And when you've acknowledged it, do something about it.

Know yourself, and make the most of that

Anything put on the internet will be still there in 30 years. Make sure its something you will still be proud of then

Merrow Fri 14-Sep-12 13:04:14

When you're feeling miserable, do some exercise.

Now, if only I could remember that advice myself...

CailinDana Fri 14-Sep-12 13:04:38

Never ever assume that you won't see someone ever again. Chances are that that person who hears you calling them a twat while you're drunk will turn out to be the main interviewer for your dream job a few years down the line.

It takes a very big person to say "You know what, you're right, what I said/did was wrong, and I'm really sorry." Sometimes the worst conflicts can be resolved just by getting down off your high horse. And contrary to popular belief, people respect others who are willing to admit their mistakes, rather than considering them weak.

If a friend is in trouble, all you need to do is listen, really, properly listen to what they're saying. You don't need to do anything, or be anything, just say "I'm here, start talking."

TribbleTuckandDismount Fri 14-Sep-12 13:09:34

Don't be afraid to say no.

It is YOUR life and YOU will have to live with the consequences of your actions, not your mate or Vera next door but one.
Always wear a condom, a trip to the labour ward or the STD clinic is not the way you want to remember that night of 'fun'.

DontmindifIdo Fri 14-Sep-12 13:27:40

Just because something doesn't matter to you, doesn't mean it shouldn't matter to other people.

It is never worth compromising your morals for money.

don't drink coffee after 5pm unless it's decaf.

By the time you turn 35, you will show the lifestyle you live now on your skin - don't smoke, drink lots of water, eat fruit, wear sunscreen.

DontmindifIdo Fri 14-Sep-12 13:32:21

If you love your partner and think they look gorgeous, make a point of telling them when it occurs to you. Being randomly told you are beautiful and loved always cheers up the day.

travellingwilbury Fri 14-Sep-12 13:40:17

Love the way you look now , when you look back at your photos in 20 yrs time you will be surprised at how handsome you were .

I love the toothbrush one .

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Fri 14-Sep-12 13:43:03

Reading this quickly in my lunch hour and I'm sure I'm breaking every kind of IT rule we have but I HAD to sign in and thanks you so so much. These are fab. Will post again from home later.

Thank you all so much

DontmindifIdo Fri 14-Sep-12 14:10:42

oh and "the hair colour that best suits your skin tone is the colour you naturally have, anything else won't look as good"

GW297 Fri 14-Sep-12 15:03:18

This is such a lovely idea.

Second getting a pension as soon as you get a job and also setting up a savings account into which you pay a small, regular monthly amount. Also, maintaining a good credit rating. Learn to budget and live within your means as much as possible.

I also, like living by example and treating others as you would wish to be treated yourself. Remember everyone is someone's child/sibling/friend/partner etc. Equally, don't be afraid to be yourself and spend time with people who accept you for who you are and make you feel good about yourself.

Always be polite and respectful and try to do a little 'random act of kindness' everyday such as: holding the door open for someone or letting someone who is only buying a carton of milk go ahead of you in the supermarket queue.

Give little and often to charities close to your heart.

Enjoy your youth and make the most of every opportunity that comes your way. Being young will not last as long as you think it will and you don't want to waste a moment of it. Have fun and don't be in too much of a hurry to grow up. You will have a 'proper job' and a mortgage, bills and a weekly supermarket shop to do soon enough. Make the most of being able to spend your money on nights out, cinema trips and the like, before you need to use it to buy lamps, rugs and other boring household items.

If you are fortunate enough to be blessed with children in the future, be the best parent you can be. You want to be able to look back and know that you gave it your all. They will grow up so quickly and the relationship you have with them as adults will be affected by the way you parented them when they were children. Tell them you love them and kiss them every day. Spend time with them, play with them, listen to them and take an interest in the things that are important to them. Build their self-esteem, prioritise their happiness and always be there for them whenever they need you.

In dark winter days, you will never imagine that the summer will come, but it will. Time does heal and you won't always feel so low and troubled. The support of a loving family and true friends is instrumental here and perhaps the one good thing about bad times, it that it's a good sieve, and you are left in no doubt who your true friends are when you come out the other side.

Your health and your happiness are two of the most precious things in life and should be treated as such.

Finally, bear in mind that nobody - and i mean NOBODY - has a perfect life, however it may look on the outside.

nickelcognito Fri 14-Sep-12 15:06:59

"Although you're more likely to regret what you haven't done than what you have, think seriously about what it is you might be doing - if it feels wrong before you do it, it's damned sure going to feel wrong once you've done it"

nickelcognito Fri 14-Sep-12 15:29:05

consider what effect your actions have on other people.
it costs nothing to be nice to someone, and they might need it.

this rule also covers - if you eat a healthy and balanced diet, it's not just good for you - it's good for whoever might receive your blood! grin (ie, consider blood donation as a cheap way to help save lives)

nickelcognito Fri 14-Sep-12 15:29:26

Take a first aid course and keep the information updated.
you never know when it might come in handy

Princessdivaaa Fri 14-Sep-12 15:59:35

I'm doing something similar for my kids (4 and 2).. I write them a letter on their birthday each year to be opened on their 18th birthday..

what about some historical facts ie what was happening in the year of his birth..
Which song was at number 1 when he was born..

OTheHugeManatee Fri 14-Sep-12 16:28:17

1) The world doesn't owe you a living. The younger you are when you learn this, the better your chances are of doing well.

2) Sometimes it feels as though the whole world is picking on you, you can't catch a break, and nothing you do works. When that happens, don't give up: focus on doing at least one thing every day, however small, to make a positive change in your situation and you will get through it.

3) A little of what you fancy does you good.

TheOneWithTheHair Fri 14-Sep-12 16:58:52

It doesn't matter where you go in life, it's who's by your side that counts.

pigleychez Fri 14-Sep-12 17:29:18

Great idea!

Only had time to flick through the posts for now but some great advice.

My addition is about advice about women-

When a woman says 'What?'
Its not because she didn't hear you. She's giving you a chance to change what you said!

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Fri 14-Sep-12 18:29:44

I've put loads of these in - thanks so much. They are fab.

One of my own life lessons for him is not to leave everything to to the last feckin minute like his mother does!!! Still-I have till Monday.

Also Pigley - how very true!

missmapp Fri 14-Sep-12 18:36:36

Never go in to a pub with a flat roof.

Remember- don't worry what other people think of you- in reality they are spending a tiny amount of time thinking about you- they spend most of the time worrying what you think about them!!

Don't let the buggers get you down

if you always do what you've always done, you will always get what you always have- change begins with you.

Lovley idea btw

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Fri 14-Sep-12 18:36:47

Some of my own for anyone who wants to use the idea.

When in doubt, spit it out.

Shit happens. You can either deal with it by cleaning it off or you can rub it in. Whatever you do, don't ignore it or people will start to move away - "What's that awful smell..."

Live somewhere warm and sunny. Don't underestimate the effect of good weather on your sense of wellbeing.

2 pints of water and a couple of paracetamol before you sleep is a good hangover preventer.

Few people can mind read - learn to say what you want - and how you feel.

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Fri 14-Sep-12 18:39:03

Ok - the pub with a flat roof - I HAVE to know why smile

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