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Things you don't want to hear a toddler say....

(278 Posts)
QueenOfFarkingEverything Mon 10-Sep-12 06:59:26

I'll start with "Oh dear, poo all over the place" [sigh]

Though this is closely rivalled by Nothing At All aka completeanduttersilence

Pozzled Mon 10-Sep-12 07:48:47

DD2 isn't talking much yet, but a long, loud 'Uh oh' generally strikes terror into my heart.

Wigeon Mon 10-Sep-12 07:49:00

"Bigger! Tigger! Digger! Wigger! Nigger! Nigger!"

And calling her swimming pool woggle a "wog".


RunYouBastardRun Mon 10-Sep-12 07:52:44

"Mummy, I make your car go VROOOM fast like McQueen"

<walks outside to find ds with stone in hand, lightening flashes and Rusteze signs scratched onto car>

Psammead Mon 10-Sep-12 07:56:35

Wigeon, that reminds me of the time my neice went around the supermarket chanting 'darkie, darkie, don't want to be a darkie!'

She was referring to her hair which she said was going darker, and we said 'No, you're a little blondie' and she replied 'No, I'm a darkie' And thus the chant was born.

We didn't even think about the other connotation until a black guy gave us a Look. We were so horrified.


RikersBeard Mon 10-Sep-12 08:03:04

What you eating mummy?

Morloth Mon 10-Sep-12 08:05:07

We just had a poo incident and your OP is pretty much what I heard.

'Oh dear, poo mess...'

peanutMD Mon 10-Sep-12 08:05:56

Pmsl at some of these grin

"mmmuuummm I need the toilet!... Oh no s'okay"

Usually said when DS was 3 and we were on the way to the toilet with water dropping out if the bottom of his trousers.

CanIOfferYouAPombear Mon 10-Sep-12 08:11:52

Nice family meeting, all the aunts and uncles, cousins etc there. We walk in and ds proudly points to my fanjo and shouts "MUMMY'S NARNA! Look!" and starts hitting it!

Never been so mortified! That's the last time I tell him anything

GoldandOrangeAnnunziata Mon 10-Sep-12 08:13:42

'Mummy, baby eat choco buttons, ds1 share!'

But yes... Silence is worse!

Chelvis Mon 10-Sep-12 08:16:06

My cousin overheared her DD say "Oh kitty, you so pretty now" - and realised that both the cat and her new Dior lipstick were missing ...

leguminous Mon 10-Sep-12 08:18:32

Shortly before 6 this morning: "Oh noooo. Mummy, come and clean me up!"

Other night-time/early morning favourites have been "I climbed up, help!" and "I not want clothes any more at ALL."

Knittingmamma Mon 10-Sep-12 08:22:27

Disembodied voice from downstairs while I am upstairs on the loo: "I'm just going to Hoover the cat, ok?". Never moved so fast...

Scootergrrrl Mon 10-Sep-12 08:24:37

"Mama, I put on my suncream. Good Scooterboy". Thanks for the help but that's not suncream, that's the entire contents of the Frube I thought you were eating quietly....

lisaro Mon 10-Sep-12 08:25:33

Uh oh.

stubbornstains Mon 10-Sep-12 08:27:19

"Did wee wee in Mummy bed".

Cheers DS.....

Sirzy Mon 10-Sep-12 08:32:09

Love the lightening McQueen one!

Kaloobear Mon 10-Sep-12 08:38:09

These are wonderful! DD is almost a year so I have all this to come...

mamalovebird Mon 10-Sep-12 08:39:14

'MUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMYYYYYYY, I up, I want some milk' at 10 past f*&king 4 AM!

MrsHelsBels74 Mon 10-Sep-12 08:41:58

I get very nervous when I hear my son say 'Sorry mummy' when I can't see him grin

shaky Mon 10-Sep-12 08:42:21

"oh dear! What happened?...."

MrsBucketxx Mon 10-Sep-12 08:44:01

"mummy i duck"

meaning i have got myself stuck somewhrte stupid like under the wardrobe yesterday.

seabuckthorn Mon 10-Sep-12 08:45:37

"Uh oh!"
"Mummy I leaked"

seeker Mon 10-Sep-12 08:45:45

"look, mummy, lubley flood!"

QueenOfFarkingEverything Mon 10-Sep-12 08:48:20

"Daddy got reeeeaallly big dick" whilst out at local woodland tourist attraction. DS can't say 'stick' properly yet blush

Dappylittlemomma Mon 10-Sep-12 08:52:41

Half asleep in bed in the morning with DD joining us for a cuddle, "I do bottom burp on mummy's head"

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