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I CANNOT listen to next door having sex any longer.

(470 Posts)
ShowOfHands Fri 27-Jan-12 10:05:38

I might cry.

I posted about this a while ago. They're newly in love and have loud, explicit and long bouts of sex. They were at it 3am-5am, woke both of the children. DD was falling asleep in her shreddies at 7.30am when they started round 2 and she's gone to school tired and asking inappropriate questions. I've JUST got ds to sleep (20 weeks old) and they're slapping up against the wall screaming and shouting again.

It's not funny. I tried to find it lightly amusing at first but it's horrid. Really unpleasant to listen to and I'm having to walk round with ds in his pram to get him to sleep most mornings- and to give me a break- as they're at it morning, noon and night.

She said to me yesterday over the fence 'I expected to be disturbed by your ds when he was born but we haven't heard a peep out of him yet'. No. Your wailing and screaming blots out birdsong ffs.

Can I say something? It's seriously affecting our sleep. How on earth do I approach it? Or do I just leave it? I don't want to fall out with her, she's a pleasant enough woman. But I could draw her naked from the opining her bloke does. That audio commentary for the blind you can accidentally activate on your freeview box? It's like that.

Lovethesea Tue 14-Feb-12 22:26:22

grin Well that thread cheered me up.

SilverSky Tue 14-Feb-12 04:27:48

The first classic I have read and it's had me in stitches. grin

CheerfulYank Thu 09-Feb-12 04:21:25

I have just wee'd with laughter. Best. Thread. EVER!

Good show, Mr. Hands!

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Tue 07-Feb-12 21:15:12

<she wailed>

ShowOfUmblestAnds Mon 06-Feb-12 21:01:34

Arf. Just seen the talk round up. I must protest though, I did not 'wail' Aitch. I know wailing. I was not wailing. Nor was I moaning. I was whining.

An entire talk round up, eh? I've peaked. It's all downhill from here.

jabberwocky Sat 04-Feb-12 17:00:26

I have been off of MN for a while. Reading a thread like this makes me wonder how I could have possible stayed away! Well done Mr. Show wine

jshm2 Sat 04-Feb-12 02:32:37

You could just do the same thing back !->

But more seriously, sometimes people need to be reminded when they step over the line. If you don't tell them then they will never know.

A quiet moan (no, I do not mean it that way at all) to the women of the house could be all it takes.

kimbelina Fri 03-Feb-12 22:25:36

I'm fairly new here but I have to say I've just spent about 2 and a half hours reading this thread! You lot are fab. And hilarious. I look forward to future threads... :D

theonewiththenoisychild Fri 03-Feb-12 18:22:59

And congrats on being the full round up newsletter grin i didnt see this til i got the email haha

theonewiththenoisychild Fri 03-Feb-12 18:13:49

Or take kids round and ask could you answer my childrens questions about the noises coming from your house because i cant find the right words and you seem very vocal grin

Bossybritches22 Fri 03-Feb-12 17:02:13


you ARE the complete Round-up newsletter this week, still laughing, well done!


Nannydo Fri 03-Feb-12 16:55:42

Our present neighbours used to have loud parties and keep us awake. My Scottish partner started playing the a CD of bagpipes and drums from 8am the following mornings as loudly as possible. No lie in for the neighbours, but they soon got the message. Now if there is a party and things start to get loud I text the message 'Jock is looking for the CD'. The party breaks up immediately.

Nannydo Fri 03-Feb-12 16:42:49

I had neighbours like this and the problem was sorted in a very unexpected way. It was in the summer and a group of middle aged men on their way home from the local pub all stopped to listen. When everything went quiet the group gave 3 cheers followed by a round of applause and serveral congratulatory comments. We heard the windows being closed. The noise was kept down to acceptable level after that.

S1TLL Fri 03-Feb-12 14:35:14

This is no different to next door having a dog barking at all hours, or playing music loudly, you shouldnt have to put up with it.

Longtime Fri 03-Feb-12 13:31:33

So glad I caught up with this via the round-up. I'm still laughing at "I pretended to be dead" smile

KatieMiddleton Thu 02-Feb-12 18:18:17

Could you post in MN local to see if anybody knows an odd job man who might come round and see to your back passage? Or even a sixth-former who might do it for pocket money?

Or ask Mona who does hers and see if you can share?

ShowOfHands Thu 02-Feb-12 18:00:27

Nooooooooo. My back passage is ravaged and in need of attention. Mona's is well tended, welcoming even.

KatieMiddleton Thu 02-Feb-12 17:37:44

So do you share a back passage then? I only have the bin men down mine on a Monday.

However, I do suffer terribly with strangers photographing the front here. That's the trouble with being quite pretty and in the town centre.

ShowOfHands Thu 02-Feb-12 17:32:30

Our front entrance is permanently barred on account of the volume of traffic outside it.

KatieMiddleton Thu 02-Feb-12 16:38:43

I only receive tradespeople via the back passage. Friends and family are allowed to use the front entrance.

ShowOfHands Thu 02-Feb-12 16:27:55

Yes, the back passage. Through which you receive guests.

CoffeeMummy Thu 02-Feb-12 13:29:23

Also de-lurking to say Best. Thread. Ever. Well done, MrSOH, diplomatically done!

Damp patch. Back passage. Oh crumbs <expires>

FannyPriceless Thu 02-Feb-12 13:02:30

So she stops faking, new boyfriend realises he's not the sex god he thought he was, relationship fizzles out... result!! grin

But you are naughty. Back passage...?

ShowOfHands Thu 02-Feb-12 12:55:04

She's probably relieved to have a reason to stop faking. He's only been round briefly today and solely to rattle her pipes. I could hear him firkling about in her back passage. Apparently, he has a job to get back to. Who knew?

FannyPriceless Thu 02-Feb-12 12:44:13

Though I should say my priority wish is that SOH can now get a good night's sleep! After all SOH now has months of sleep to catch up on, and the neighbour has clearly had enough sex to last her for quite some time.

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