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I CANNOT listen to next door having sex any longer.

(470 Posts)
ShowOfHands Fri 27-Jan-12 10:05:38

I might cry.

I posted about this a while ago. They're newly in love and have loud, explicit and long bouts of sex. They were at it 3am-5am, woke both of the children. DD was falling asleep in her shreddies at 7.30am when they started round 2 and she's gone to school tired and asking inappropriate questions. I've JUST got ds to sleep (20 weeks old) and they're slapping up against the wall screaming and shouting again.

It's not funny. I tried to find it lightly amusing at first but it's horrid. Really unpleasant to listen to and I'm having to walk round with ds in his pram to get him to sleep most mornings- and to give me a break- as they're at it morning, noon and night.

She said to me yesterday over the fence 'I expected to be disturbed by your ds when he was born but we haven't heard a peep out of him yet'. No. Your wailing and screaming blots out birdsong ffs.

Can I say something? It's seriously affecting our sleep. How on earth do I approach it? Or do I just leave it? I don't want to fall out with her, she's a pleasant enough woman. But I could draw her naked from the opining her bloke does. That audio commentary for the blind you can accidentally activate on your freeview box? It's like that.

BrownB Fri 27-Jan-12 10:08:37

Take a recording of it one night and play it back to her with an explanation that it's waking the kids. Not cool....

juneau Fri 27-Jan-12 10:09:33

Say something FFS! You're on speaking terms with her and you don't need to fall out with her, but she might well be mortified to learn that you can hear absolutely everything (and I would tell her that you can hear EVERYTHING - it might shame her into being quieter - unless she's a total exhibitionist). She's waking you and your kids up and that's not okay.

D0G Fri 27-Jan-12 10:12:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShowOfHands Fri 27-Jan-12 10:13:52

We speak only when hanging out the washing at the same time or if we've taken in a parcel for each other. I just don't know what to say. I'm exceedingly shy around most people and not sure how you start the conversation about how I can hear every little minute detail of their prolonged mating sessions. Because really I would need to be specific. Some noise, fine. She might assume I can only hear the odd creak or moan and am being awkward. How do I tell her it's like I'm in the sodding bed with her?

SoupDragon Fri 27-Jan-12 10:14:54

Just say something.

Personally though, I'd have to move because I don't think I could bring myself to have that conversation with a neighbour!

ShowOfHands Fri 27-Jan-12 10:15:06

A could write a letter. Is that a bit passive aggressive though? I really don't want to fall out with her.

BackToBligg Fri 27-Jan-12 10:16:56

What BrownB said.

CogitoErgoSometimes Fri 27-Jan-12 10:17:15

"I don't want to sound indelicate but you need to tone down your love-life. You're making far too much noise and keeping everyone awake at all hours. I really don't want to know that you have <quote something memorable about her body>"

Delivered with a very straight face, the only person who's going to feel awkward after that is her.

D0G Fri 27-Jan-12 10:17:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShowOfHands Fri 27-Jan-12 10:17:57

But WHAT do I say? I'll blush and stammer and I just want to be clear.

"Please could you try to not have loud sex at 3am next to the children's room as the walls are very thin indeed and they can hear everything".

How on earth do I say that out loud?

Iheartpasties Fri 27-Jan-12 10:18:05

Oh Lord, when you've told her all about it can you come here and do the same with my upstaors naighbour?! Thanks. She is one noisy Mare, and sometimes we think she is ALL ON HER OWN, yucksville (just at the volume).

D0G Fri 27-Jan-12 10:18:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShowOfHands Fri 27-Jan-12 10:19:21

Cogito, I'm going to rehearse that.

They've just started again. She's actually screaming.

CogitoErgoSometimes Fri 27-Jan-12 10:20:24

Then knock on the door now while it's actually happening and tell them to pipe down..... Carpe diem

HippoPottyMouth Fri 27-Jan-12 10:20:25

A letter would probably be a bit pa. could you knock round (preferably mid session!) and say "this is a bit embarassing but you kept us all awake last night between 3 and 5 am, and my daughter wanted to know what the noises were. and now I'm trying to get the baby back to sleep but it's too noisy again."
I should think she'll know what the issue is from that? And hopefully be mortified.

If that doesn't work then a letter / recording next.

D0G Fri 27-Jan-12 10:20:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bossybritches22 Fri 27-Jan-12 10:20:50

Not PA at all, say or write just that,you really don't want to fall out with her, it's a delicate subject, but did she realise how thin the walls are & you can hear EVERYTHING from their bedroom? smile

No need to be explicit, but emphasise the everything, if you look embarrassed then that's even better really! As jeanau says she might well be mortified & shut up!

Awkward for you. I sympathise!

SoupDragon Fri 27-Jan-12 10:21:19

If you go down the letter route start with "This is rather embarrassing so I've written rather than spoken to you to make it easier..."

Sposh Fri 27-Jan-12 10:21:38

I have a theory that those making the most noise are the ones who have something to prove to themselves. She might be having a really crap sex life wink How on earth can she believe that no-one can hear her screaming!

Call the police, tell them that you think she's being murdered?

PotteringAlong Fri 27-Jan-12 10:21:53

Put a porn film on very very loudly. When she comments say "gosh, I didn't think. But, as I can hear you all the time I should've realised. How ditzy of me."

She'll soon stop grin

but if, after this, she mentions swinging you'll have to move

SoupDragon Fri 27-Jan-12 10:22:10

"Carpe diem"

Just be careful what you are carpe-ing if her DP answers the door.

HippoPottyMouth Fri 27-Jan-12 10:22:33

Actually, yes DOG is prob right about the letter.
Also cogito said it better. Ignore me smile

But do go round while they're at it. Right now.
Don't they have jobs to go to?!

D0G Fri 27-Jan-12 10:22:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GetOrfMoiiLand Fri 27-Jan-12 10:23:45

I would write as well - or get your DH to do it.

Of course she knows she is making that much noise, she is probably doing it on purpose so everyone knows that she is having such wonderful sex hmm. How tiresome.

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