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to have expected a flume ride to feel the same as it did when i was a kid. FFS I go like a rocket now!

(96 Posts)
Nevergarglebrandybutter Sun 08-Jan-12 18:58:29

Yowser, I was out of control!
I nearly got flipped over. Ankles over the side the lot. And there's no brakes once you get your speed up.
Crikey, I used to enjoy them now it's quite obviously dangerous!

<note to self, you used to weigh 4 stone>

PANCHEY Mon 09-Jan-12 21:21:31

DH just asked me if I was drunk..nope just reading this thread,

FionaBruise Mon 09-Jan-12 21:21:39

wah lets all the mumsnetters do a sponsored flume event :-)

AmazingBouncingFerret Mon 09-Jan-12 21:38:31

Boohoo, just tried reading out your post to DH, cept I'd not read it properly before beginning to read... think I may have weed a little bit plus I ended up spitting all over the laptop screen when I got to the part about calling the paramedics.

By far the funniest thing I've ever read on here.

Well done.

can we have a link to the photos?

JayVazzle Mon 09-Jan-12 21:43:57

I also remember going to a water park
With an ex, I had a suspicion he couldn't swim but he insisted he could.

Anyways he almost drowned at the bottom of the first flume, the water was 4 ft deep and there were 6 year olds coming down it, he just wouldn't put his feet on the floor and had to be rescued by the lifeguard.

He spent the rest of the day watching me
Pull my bikini bottoms out of my arse at the bottom of slides, and we broke up
Shortly after.

Nevergarglebrandybutter Mon 09-Jan-12 21:44:25

this thread is really making me grin.

i urge all mumsnetters who haven't been down a flume since achieving adult status to give it a go. honestly, your life (and your swimsuit) may well flash before your very eyes.

Nevergarglebrandybutter Mon 09-Jan-12 21:47:00

my favourite flumes as a kid were the rainbow slides in Stirling.
there was one in particular that was scary back then....
hmm, anyone in stirling willing to check it out?

youarekidding Mon 09-Jan-12 21:57:39

This has made classics grin

Nevergarglebrandybutter Mon 09-Jan-12 21:58:47


CatpussRoastingByAnOpenFire Mon 09-Jan-12 22:13:31

We went to a water park on holiday in Wales this year. Not only did I have to go through the humiliation of MIL2 picking out a swim suit from the rail in the shop, "this looks about your size" (20) and it actually fitted! blush
But when I got on the flume, all the water backed up behind me. It was like a fecking tsunami! DS said he knew when I was coming, because the water stopped coming out of the end, and then out I would burst, like a walrus out of a cannon, arms and legs flailing, to hit the water and knock him off his feet if he wasnt out of the pool fast enough!

Faverolles Mon 09-Jan-12 22:22:55

grin at this thread! I really needed this tonight.

DH went on one of these at center parcs a few years ago. Physics can't have been on his side, as he was in the bloody thing for ages.
Lifeguards were peering up the hole worriedly.
After about half an hour, he slowly plopped out at the bottom.
To this day, no-one knows how he managed to defy laws of gravity and go so bloody slowly!

boohoobabywho Mon 09-Jan-12 22:40:13

Faverolles maybe he did that Augustus Gloop thing and got stuck in the pipe!

ChrisMsBrian Mon 09-Jan-12 23:05:52

DP and I both laughing our heads off ... Thank you ladies!

HedleyLamarr Mon 09-Jan-12 23:21:36

Oh my Catpuss you poor thing. gringringrin

ShowOfHands Mon 09-Jan-12 23:23:55

I am crying with laughter.

We go to Center Parcs with my parents every March and a lot of the time I've either been pregnant or bfing and couldn't possibly go on the hell that is the rapids. But eventually I ran out of excuses. Bloody thing. It's in sections so you can experience the full range of trauma on the way down. The first bit sucks you under and sort of removes your swimwear whilst you scrabble for purchase and cry. The second bit hurtles you into a pit where you get the full force of a wave into your open eyes, blinding you and if you're lucky, also choking you. Then the third bit you sort of spin round whilst screeching before banging your head on an imitation rock and tearing a hole in the arse of your swimming costume.



Of course a load of 5-15yos cruise past you effortlessly whilst giggling. It serves to highlight your complete and utter spiral into agony. Physical and emotional.

McPhee Mon 09-Jan-12 23:24:39

Bloody hilarious grin

Alibabaandthe40nappies Mon 09-Jan-12 23:40:50

Catpuss was it Bluestone?

CatpussRoastingByAnOpenFire Mon 09-Jan-12 23:53:47

I cant remember. I have blanked the entire episode from my memory!
Swinning pool? What swimming pool?

Alibabaandthe40nappies Mon 09-Jan-12 23:58:12


Iheartpasties Tue 10-Jan-12 01:02:18

I admire you all for even getting on a flume! I'd be way too scared!

MuslinSuit Tue 10-Jan-12 08:52:52

grin thank you for making me laugh - I need it this morning!

Nevergarglebrandybutter Fri 13-Jan-12 17:50:26

and the roundup!
have i finally mastered the art of the mumsnet thread?

nightingale452 Fri 13-Jan-12 22:55:01

You should try waterskiing for the ultimate enema - when you fall over it feels like the entire lake's been fired up your jaxi with a canon (note I say when, not if)

Megfox Sat 14-Jan-12 19:29:49

I never had a flume ride! Always looked much too risky for my liking! I don't DO risky. And I don't see why ANY parent should do something as trivial as a fairground/theme park ride if it's against their own desire, just to please their children.

God knows, we give up/do enough as parents that we shouldn't feel compelled to do what goes against the grain just so that our children can have a , 'fun,' experience. Why should we be forced into doing something so pointlessly stomach-churning and spine-wrenching as a flume ride.....?

Get REAL! Either the children do such a thing alone, or they don't do it at ALL - until they're old enough not to need a parent to accompany them.

NewYearEverything Sat 14-Jan-12 19:34:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LivingDead Sat 14-Jan-12 22:47:40

I don't know, I was 13 when I went on holiday with my sister, I went on plenty of flume rides at the water park and am glad to know that the enema effect is not just apparent on me.

I went to the loo and managed to emit pure water from the bum hole blush It seemed to happen every time so I gave up on the whole water slide business.

I didn't try it again in Florida, although would be tempted if I went back.

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