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to have expected a flume ride to feel the same as it did when i was a kid. FFS I go like a rocket now!

(96 Posts)
Nevergarglebrandybutter Sun 08-Jan-12 18:58:29

Yowser, I was out of control!
I nearly got flipped over. Ankles over the side the lot. And there's no brakes once you get your speed up.
Crikey, I used to enjoy them now it's quite obviously dangerous!

<note to self, you used to weigh 4 stone>

wannabestressfree Sun 08-Jan-12 19:02:50

That really made me laugh as I recalled being on holiday and leaving a water flume in a very undignified way and exposing WAY to much arse cheek and side boob............
I am still upset and confused as to why rollercoasters don't thrill me as much though and why I now feel queasy...........
Am a bit upset to be old tbh

SantasENormaSnob Sun 08-Jan-12 19:11:14

I bloody love water flumes.

Except the plug hole ones when I always fall out arse first hmm this could be due to the size of it

Nevergarglebrandybutter Sun 08-Jan-12 19:39:05

The sauna was much more civilised.

hwjm1945 Sun 08-Jan-12 19:48:18

i think that an adult woman of about 5ft 4 and about 10 stone, whihc is prob pretty average is exactly the right size/shape from a quaNTUM POINT OF VIEW to go like s**t off a stick on flumes, I know I did! on point, now feel sick if go on swing, def did not pre kids, is that getting older or is it having had kids?

Nevergarglebrandybutter Sun 08-Jan-12 20:03:35

y'see i used the old trick of sliding on my heels and shoulder blades absolutely rigid, that used to be sufficient for getting some velocity.
had to shut my eyes for the second half and hope i came out the end the right way up.

of course DH was highly entertained as i shot out of the end with my ankles in the air.

Nevergarglebrandybutter Sun 08-Jan-12 20:05:32

hw, i'm not sure what makes us lose the nerve to swing a swing til you get the 'bumps' and then jump off.

Asturimama Sun 08-Jan-12 20:07:56

Thank you so much for making me laugh!! I love your thread title and I now have a lovely mental image of a grown up woman shooting out of the ride grin

Backtobedlam Sun 08-Jan-12 20:08:30

Had exactly this on some flumes we went on over Christmas. Plus, I'm sure my swimwear doesn't have the same staying ability...either that or I've got more saggy, but I'm sure it can't be that!

englishmummyinwales Sun 08-Jan-12 20:13:40

You made me laugh out loud! I went on one last year and was thinking 'blimey I'm going faster than expected and who is that annoying woman shrieking at the top of her voice?' I landed very unelegantly, upside down in the little pool at the bottom and gradually realised that the shrieking woman had been me....

CrotchFlakes Sun 08-Jan-12 20:13:46

The ones near us are so slow you have to ooph yourself along on your hands half way down, and the supposedly pitch black flume has gone see through so it's not scary at all.... except the little fuckers at the council refurbished them when I wasn't looking so last time I went I ended up 1. soaked 2. upside down and 3. terrified in the dark hmm

Nevergarglebrandybutter Sun 08-Jan-12 20:38:33

grin little fuckers at the council.

ShineYourButtonsWithBrasso Sun 08-Jan-12 20:44:29

Very funny. My moment was on a gigantic inflatable, bouncy slide.

I took our 3 year old up and copied all the children who did a stand up bounce drop and fuck me I flew about 6ft up in the air, at one point I thought I was going to miss the slide completely and squash all the littles in the que at the bottom!!

Nevergarglebrandybutter Sun 08-Jan-12 20:47:24

it's like the adult body comes as a surprise.

OhyouBadBadkitten Sun 08-Jan-12 20:56:26

Last time I went on one it was on one of those rubber rings at a giant water park. My bum fell through too far and I hit the bumps with my bum. Unfortunately my swimming costume didnt survive very well. It was a long walk back to the privacy of my towel blush

McHappyPants2012 Sun 08-Jan-12 21:01:15

i love them, now ds is tall enough i use them alot more smile

youarekidding Sun 08-Jan-12 21:04:02

very funny grin

Last time I used a flume we had a double inflatable ring, my friends DD (8) came with me as a little too wary to go alone. She took her other DD(6) and my DS(7) went alone. Not sure my friend and I were much reassurance to her DD's. blush

We both forgot the obligatory drop and sudden speed up in the middle.

My DS just gave all 4 of us the hmm look at the bottom. grin

Birnamwood Sun 08-Jan-12 21:11:12


In America I went on one of those really steep 'slide' flumes. No one told me to keep mt legs crossed. I ended up with both an enema, douche and a fanjo floss from my swimming costume blush

Nevergarglebrandybutter Sun 08-Jan-12 21:26:31

your foof must have been gleaming.

Nevergarglebrandybutter Sun 08-Jan-12 21:58:07

I once lept off a cliff into lake. Coniston perhaps.
Dropped like a rock and hit the bottom, cut my foot and gasped as i pushed myself to the surface.
All the 8 years olds were fine, just sort of bobbed up to the top.

AKMD Sun 08-Jan-12 22:03:41

Hilariously funny thread.

I was wondering about this sort of thing last year - I used to be the one making teacups whizz round faster than anyone else but now I feel sick have a horrible feeling in my stomach at anything more than a sedate whirl. Swings are too scary for me blush

voodoobarbie Sun 08-Jan-12 22:14:38

The Masterblaster at the Sandcastle shoots the ring up the first slide, the attendant span me around and the force of the water pulled my shorts down in full view of the queue. I spent the whole ride trying to pull them back up before getting back to the start.

noblegiraffe Sun 08-Jan-12 22:19:29

Am loving the quantum explanation for going like s**t off a stick grin

I went on a water slide in the summer. Fuck me I thought I was going to die. The four year old I was with wanted to go straight back on it. The adults were grimly taking it in turns to accompany her.

valleyqueen Sun 08-Jan-12 22:58:35

About 6 yrs agoI went on a slide with one of those double rubber tyre thingys, I went on with my dad as dd was too little to go on. He was on the front and screamed all the way down. I laughed so much I wet myself blush sitting right behind my poor dad legs either side.

Have also been washed off a body board in the sea and found myself topless with my boob in some poor mans eat. grin

valleyqueen Sun 08-Jan-12 22:59:08


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