WWYD? The Saga of the Family Tuna

[PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn]

Bit longwinded but anyone who bears with me can have and
DD has a toy caterpillar named Sydney Tuna, she liberated him from a car boot sale when she was just gone 2 and has adored and worshipped him ever since.
Last Christmas Santa brought his mummy, Mrs. Mabel Tuna, to live with us. She had missed Sydney since he went to seek his fortune, so had written to Santa to ask him to find Sydney, and Santa gave her a lift to our house on his sleigh. Cue rejoicing and carolling and so on....
DD now informs me that this Christmas, Mrs T and Sydney are writing jointly to Santa to find Mr. Tuna, who rejoices in the name Miguel apparently, and is in the army, fighting for the peaceloving resistance caterpillars who want to stop the slaughter between the marmite and the maple syrup factions I kid you not AND I kept a straight face wile DD told me all this
So... and if you're still with me, a thousand thanks... I can lay my hands on a caterpillar identical to Mrs. Tuna, but how can I make him look like he's been liberated from the army/prisoner of war camp/somewhere else suitable to have kept him away for a long time? I thought about him having been kidnapped by Pirates to explain where he's been all these years, and that was when DD came out with the stuff about the army... any suggestions? DD is 9 and I think this could be the last year for Santa for her, we've had some pointed questions that I have so far lied my way out of managed by the skin of my teeth, so I want to do Mr. Tuna's homecoming right...

[RatherBe]

Might he have grown a beard and a moustache (some caterpillars are pretty hairy...)

And can I just say that I am in awe of your DDs imagination and now want to know all about what happens when the Tunas are reunited?

[HaveALittleFaithBaby]

Give him a tache using a sharpie?!

[PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn]

I never thought of a tash! I was thinking bandana and eye-patch (and maybe a wooden leg or two if I could work out a way to do it - he has 20) hence the pirate thing. DH suggested an amputation or two for war wounds but I'm not sure I can bring myself to do it...
hmmm tash and monocle maybe...

[meditrina]

If he's back from the wars, he needs to smell!

If he's been a PoW, then he'll have lost weight (can you take some stuffing out).

Know anyone who has DSes growing out of Action Man? He needs an AK47!

And a "uniform" - can you find some camouflage fabric to make some sort of sheath for him?

And Miguel needs to nod to his ethnic origin - Spanish hat and bullet belt?

[edam]

A medal. Clearly he is hero material. He should have a decoration of some sort. The order of the Fritillary, perhaps?

[radiohelen]

Defo yes to a uniform.. some kind of camoflage.

Maybe some of that gold scrambled egg that officers and dictators are so fond of?

[PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn]

OOOOo a Medal! now that is a brilliant idea, he is obviously going to be a Hero of ze Resistance...
Not sure about the smell - he'll be stashed somewhere round the house until Christmas - maybe a dirty mark or two to make him look like a recent escapee - I think Santa was so moved by Sydney and Mabel's letter that he went to look for Mr. Tuna and found him tunnelling out of his prison, and by swooping low in the sleigh, Mr. T was able to grab hold and hang on all the way to our house from Darkest Peru/Timbuktu/Ougadougou/Somewhere equally obscure that DD won't have heard of hopefully so I could get away with a bit of grue and muck and smell maybe...
I shall ask around about the Action Man stuff - I have 4 DSs and the only Action Man thing we've ever had is the shark! Someone at school might have some battered ones they don't want though, and they'll look "well used" which is all to the good.

[meditrina]

Camo cream on his face (try eyeshadow)?

[meditrina]

And if there aren't any bits you can amputate, how about stitches to make a dashing scar?

[edam]

Ask someone who has boys and dogs... IME the combination is fatal for action men. I wasn't allowed action men as a child (glorified war, apparently) but managed to inherit various casualties that had barely survived the attentions of my friends' springer spaniel.

[PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn]

I am leaning towards an eye patch for his face, if I can find felt to make one from, or an actual eyepatch that I can stitch into place - if I knit it DD will suspect, she's as sharp as a knife. I could camo the rest of it though, and if I used make up or face paint it could wash off - that might be good, she can "bathe" him and clean it off herself perhaps. AFAIK he's even machine washable although machine washing beloved toys tends to be a tad traumatic sigghhhh

[Salmotrutta]

Your DD sounds like an author in the making!

Loving the bandolero bullet belt idea! A Mexican Military Rebel! Like Pancho Villa. Or he could have a black beret like Che Guevara?

[Salmotrutta]

Who wasn't Mexican obviously

[rhondajean]

DD2 has a habit of asking for odd things like this. Try finding a toy hedgehog, of specific size, which must come in a cup, and the cup must have robins on it.

I think shes doing it for a laugh to see how frazzled she can get me!! Cant she just ask for Barbie like other little girls?

Nah I love it, and I think you should post photos for us of the Tuna family, including Miguel after he is released.

[PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn]

oooooo a beret - Probably doable - the actual toy is the giant Animal Alley caterpillar from Toys R Us and is five feet long, so big enough for kids hats and stuff to fit and not look too daft. Mrs Tuna is one of those too, Sydney is not the same but that's explained by him being the child and the saga of why none of them have ever been a chrysalis or a butterfly made great listening too! DD has the most wonderful imagination and comes out with lovely stories, I often wish I had one of those little tape machines to record her.

[pyjamasinbananas]

I'm in awe of your DD!! She sounds hilarious! mental note to make DS more amusing for mn posting reasons he needs a passport and a letter from mrs tuna with your address (how else would he know where to go)

[Salmotrutta]

You should get her to write these stories down!

[Yourefired]

Would he not be a butterfly by now?

[ApocalypseCheeseToastie]

Pirate butterfly !

[PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn]

There's a long long saga explaining why he isn't a butterfly Yourefired - to my shame I can't remember it all, but DD has it all worked out.
Good thinking pyjamas when Mrs Tuna arrived Santa left a note telling us how she'd written to him and asked for his help to find Sydney, so maybe that will work again, or Mr. T could have got one letter smuggled through that told him where his family are....

[Flowerista]

Is he on the side of the Marmites or Maple Syrups? Would drive the style of medal and possibly tattoo? Definitely a scar and beret which must be at rakish angle.

[pyjamasinbananas]

He went into his crysalis (apologies for spelling) saw the smuggled note and thought no way am I changing into a butterfly I have to find my family.

Are you listening Disney?!! This is genius stuff!! Hire children!! In a good way obviously...

[Flowerista]

Wouldn't the red cross have passed the message, probably written on a cabbage leaf.

[UniS]

thats gonna be hard to make look bad ass. All those pastel shades and teh chesey smile....

eye patch, camo cap ,Sargent stripes, some mud/ dirt in the wrapping paper. ?

[PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn]

Now thereby hangs the question Flower - I'm not entirely sure which side he's on hangs head in shame because my attention was taken by stopping no4 son hurling himself bodily into oncoming traffic at that point... I think he's Miguel of the Resistance and secretly works to bring peace while pretending to be on both side but actually not being on either, but would have to ask surreptitious questions to be sure. I'd prefer marmite because I can buy a jar for him to bring home with him, whereas maple syrup might prove more tricky to find...
and OOO at tattoo - brainwave! I could embroider one or more even