If my 3yo had access to AIBU...

(393 Posts)
allhailtheaubergine Thu 15-Sep-11 17:25:24

AIBU to throw my bowl of pear across the kitchen?

Earlier today I demanded that my mother stop what she was doing and immediately get me a pear. She is by nature a difficult woman and she insisted on finishing her wee and washing her hands first hmm. I explained loudly that this was unacceptable but, typically for her, my protestations only made her more stubborn. Then she moved the goalposts and decided that I could only have my pear if I said "please" (actually I worry about her in this respect - she is utterly obsessed with that word, it's not normal) so I stormed around the house for 25 minutes or so and then eventually gave in and said please (so now she'll think if she holds out long enough I'll end up saying "please" every time - made a rod for my own back there hmm).

Anyway, she asked me if I wanted the pear to be cut up or whole. I replied "cutted up" and the utter arse of a woman cut up my pear! shock I was speechless with rage! Obviously, words were not enough to express my fury so I threw the cutted up pear across the kitchen and kicked her in the shins.


I think she genuinely thinks I am BU and it's causing me to doubt myself. What do you think?

Several posts later [dripfeed]:

Oh, and then I weed in my shorts because I was still cross. That'll learn her.

OP’s posts: |
FeeLock28 Tue 03-Oct-17 20:18:26

allhailtheaubergine, you could take a leaf out of our book: we are twins of eighteen months and we saw our mother decorating after we had gone to bed - obviously the poor thing didn't realise we woke up occasionally and didn't shriek the place down.

Decorating looked like such fun! We were distraught, however, to discover that all of the equipment had been thoughtlessly and selfishly locked away. We did our best to batter down the under-stairs cupboard, but would you believe it, our damned father had gone and fitted a bolt way up high! Despite our excellent efforts (including moving the stairs chair to the cupboard and standing on it), we were utterly unable to reach the bolt.

So, what are twins supposed to do, we wondered? There's no point in being awake first thing in the morning in rather full nappies and not making the most of them, is there? So we decided to decorate our room in tasteful shades of Clearwater Yellow with the aroma of ordure.

We are available at very reasonable rates.

llangennith Sun 06-Aug-17 13:24:31

Zombie but still v funny

MipMipMip Sun 06-Aug-17 13:07:27

Hello zombies!

Sure you're all getting on very well but if you need extra tips try How To Be A Little Sod by Simon Brett. It's very educational and full of great tips.

Happy annoying parents!

lifesjoys Sat 29-Apr-17 16:45:56

grin love this!!

FeedTheSharkAndItWIllBite Sat 22-Apr-17 18:15:50

Oh gosh, I love this thread... :D Have to agree with Sophie, this thread is honestly awesome.

Qwertyuiop1 Mon 11-Apr-16 09:37:36



bouncingpenguin Sun 01-Dec-13 00:29:08

Parents don't know anything do they? My mum says I don't need a new mobile phone - what does she know? She still classes me as a child when I'm 12 for God's sake! I'm practically an adult now.

Heathcliff27 Wed 23-Oct-13 15:23:48

I am so glad I have found this thread. Only yesterday mummy was having coffee with my best friends mummy and we decided to have a look through the bathroom cupboard. I mean, whats the problem, after all mummy puts cream on her face and arms and legs so why was it so funny when we did the same with the tub of sudocream, I didnt expect it to be so thick though and I dont think i'll be able to wear those leggings again.... I really thought mummy was going to pee herself she was laughing so much

SophieBMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 23-Oct-13 15:12:51

This is my favourite thread on the whole of MN. Such a funny OP!

ZingDollyChops Thu 17-Oct-13 10:10:50

My mummy gives me a bottle of apple squash when I have a nap.
But a few days ago I drank some of my juice which meant that my bottle wasn't full anymore.

I found that very distressing and threw a tantrum. I mean wouldn't you? If I drink from my bottle just why oh why does it not stay full?sad

But the real problem is my DM. This incident revealed a disturbing truth about her lack of understanding and empathy.
She kept on asking me why I was crying and even after I told her several times that I was crying "because I drank from my bottle" she did not understand why I was upset about that!
The woman is logically challenged!
She was warbling on about that the juice was missing from my bottle because it was in my tummy, which I know <rolls eyes>, but she failed to see why I was upsetting that I did that!

I can't reason with her. <sighs>

And you know what the bitch did? She laughed! She actually laughed! She tried to hide it, but I saw what happened.
I see nothing funny about being upset about drinking my juice and finding out that my bottle had less juice in it because I drank some.

Good thing she made a nice cake later, so I forgave her for being thick, but I think I'd better keep an eye on her.

ZingBoy5 (aged 3.5)

DizziDoll Fri 04-Oct-13 17:43:41

Hey OP, how did this turn out for you? Did you learn her?

I could use some advice from any others on here who have been in my situation. My DM was getting really fat a while ago. I mean, she just couldn't seem to stop eating and she got such a round belly. It was bigger than mine!

Then one day she sat me (i'm 3.6 years old) down and told us about the OC. I couldn't believe it! Was I not good enough that she needed to look for another child? To top it off, she actually brought the OC home and expected me to love her too. Is she nuts? I mean, this baby is crap at everything! It can't jump off things, it can't post coins in DVD players or anything!
I would throw her in the bin but my dm seems to be watching her all the time! Lately I have been pinching my older DSis (6). I mean, she should be old enough to look after herself. Maybe if she left, I could have more attention. Plus, her reaction is GREAT!

Any other ideas?

MiniMonty Mon 02-Sep-13 00:18:30

Yeah, like I'm nearly 14 yeah and like I've just got to tell you that you're all really old and stupid yeah. And anyway I hate you. Can I have some money ?

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE Sun 21-Jul-13 16:03:09

Literally cry every time I read this grin

50shadesofbrown Mon 15-Apr-13 23:24:23

Am fairly new to MN, so only recently found this thread. I thought my pelvic floor had recovered - clearly I was a bit optimistic. Not laughed so much in ages. Thanks!

fidelma Sun 23-Sep-12 07:42:30

Down in History!

bogeyface Sun 23-Sep-12 00:08:37


Another happy customer, thank you smile

edpen Thu 21-Jun-12 12:02:14

Thank you OP!! This makes me laugh every time I reread it!! grin

RabidEchidna Wed 21-Mar-12 16:21:34


3doorsaway Fri 02-Mar-12 16:28:46

If you think she is being unreasonable now wait till you hit your teens your in for a treat then..

All mentle health conditions have been triggered by then, despite your best efforts to be a supportive and caring child, she will be probably self medicating with alcohol and probably either smoking secretly or may even be completely blatant about it while telling you how stupid you are to smoke!!

She will constantly moan about how good school was in her day! (clearly a spoff) and how she had a size 8 figure before you were born!! (well mum it wasn't me who ate my leftovers was it fatty!)

I'm an unpaid slave I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING!!

She feeds me crap food every night like lasagne, spag boll or mac and cheese. only giving my pot noodles when she is far to lazy to cook rather than to be kind!!

She will make jokes about how the last time she had a good night sleep was 95 ( in my case)

I think I have probably scared you enough kid but tbh if she is BU now you better try and get her in line now or it will just get worse!!

TheSkiingGardener Tue 01-Nov-11 14:23:51

Please help, I am completely at the end of my patience with DM.

She is absolutely insistent that this thing called "three" comes after "one" and "two" even though EVERYONE knows it is "four". I have tried being patient, I have tried gently correcting her, recently I have had to get quite cross with her, shake my head and stamp my feet but she is STILL getting it wrong.

How can I help her get over this error and why won't she listen to me?

Babyskier (16 months)

plupervert Mon 26-Sep-11 19:26:20

Well, I suppose the ping ping box can wait. There's a lot you can do with the cold box.

First, you have to satisfy yourself about the little light. Make sure that it is properly turning off when you close the door.

Once you have made sure of this, you can get on with stocking the cold box with supplies such as Mummy and Daddy's mobile phones, any slippers they leave lying about (slovenly big people!), that controller they use to turn off your CBeebies.... things like that.

HarrietJones Mon 26-Sep-11 18:25:46

The ping ping is too high but I have mastered the cold cheese box

plupervert Sun 25-Sep-11 22:50:26

You are suffering from a rather unhealthily co-dependent relationship, then. Can you get downstairs and find the big cold box, and then the big lighting-up-ping box which heats things? If you can work them both, you will be able to limit contact with your parents who are, frankly, setting way too many boundaries for you.

HarrietJones Sun 25-Sep-11 22:33:17

I have considered it but where would I get my milk from in the night? It's so handy when Daddy puts me in bed next to Mummy so I can help myself, though she did have the nerve to stop me holding on all last night shock

plupervert Sun 25-Sep-11 22:24:19

She won't let you chase bees?! shock


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