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Overheard in a change room yesterday

(382 Posts)
Jacksmania Fri 08-Jul-11 17:57:46

A mum telling her daughter that the style of dress she was trying on was called "UMPIRE waist".

I'm sorry, I know I'm a total caaaahhhh, but I was grin and <snurk> and covering my mouth to keep from laughing.

What have you overheard (not necessarily in a change room) that made you grin?

2tired2bewitty Fri 08-Jul-11 23:03:21

Swimming pool changing room, mum in cubicle, dad outside:

dad: is my top in there?
Mum: no, I put it with the shoes.
brief pause
Mum: have you found it?
dad: found what?

messymammy Fri 08-Jul-11 23:13:30

im sure everyone pissed themselves laughing at this one in the toilets of m and s.thanks dd

dd:why did you poo your pants mammy?you're a big girl,you should go to the toilet like me.
me:no no it's not poo,its the design on my pants <was really an unexpected period>
dd:no way mammy,thats poo.
me:no no just the design,now where will we go next?get something to eat maybe? <vain attempt to distract her from poo conversation>
dd:mammy,you have poo in your pants,we have to go home so you can put clean ones on.

I swear I made sure we waited ten mins until everyone had left!

Jacksmania Sat 09-Jul-11 02:24:34

Oh dear messymammy grin

If it's any consolation, DS did the "can't leave a subject alone" thing, too. I'd had a biopsy done on my breast and it bruised horribly. He went on and on and ON about the bruise on mummy's boobie...

Jacksmania Sat 09-Jul-11 02:25:34

That should have said "biopsy on a mole on my breast" - didn't mean to be misleading.

CheerfulYank Sat 09-Jul-11 02:39:51

Lately DS has done the "Is that person a man or a woman?!" thing. Several times. Very loudly. blush I have now threatened him with everything under the sun and hopefully he won't do it again.

My friend and I used to have a list of funny things we'd overheard on our college dorm door smile

nickschick Sat 09-Jul-11 05:27:45

This isnt funny as such but made me very cross.

A group of pearl necked twin set elderly ladies were sat in the library for a book group ......theyd been reading a book about depression and its effects (possibly an autobiography from a celebrity)

Any way this snotty old lady declared - i cant see why these young girls demand such attention to themselves its not as though they have a hard life really - I mean,she even had a washing machine and a tumble drier.

Really????? well then she should be so ecstatic.


cure for depression - a automatic washing machine.

Jacksmania Sat 09-Jul-11 20:21:58

Goodness, I should have no problems then, I even have a dishwasher hmm.

LordOfTheFlies Sat 09-Jul-11 20:30:16

My DDs swimsuit has a razorback not racerback according to her.
Freddy Kreuger Speedos grin

AtYourCrucio Sat 09-Jul-11 20:33:18

Overheard today in a people-type museum.

'Quent darling come and see the majolica'

I shit you not.

And it wasn't even majolica so stick that in your pretentious pipe and smoke it matey.

ApocalypseCheeseToastie Sat 09-Jul-11 20:38:57

I dunno but if anybody overheard my sister coming out with this gem when we were in the pub 'soliciting must be a stressful job' (during a conversation about solicitors) i'm pretty sure they left a puddle on the floor next to mine grin

cecinestpasunepipe Sat 09-Jul-11 20:41:57

What's a majolica?

TheArmadillo Sat 09-Jul-11 20:42:33

I was in a big toilet cubicle (with baby change in) with both children. Went to go to toilet and told ds quite loudly firmly 'don't you dare touch that lock' (has a history of opening door when I am on the toilet hmm).

Voice comes from next cubicle 'what that woman said'

Made me giggle. At least I'm not the only one.

MissPenteuth Sat 09-Jul-11 20:44:07

Majolica ware is ugly brightly-coloured ceramics.

AtYourCrucio Sat 09-Jul-11 20:46:30

this was indeed big, bright and ugly but Bristolian not Majolica.

KenDoddsDadsDog Sat 09-Jul-11 20:52:20

I overheard two girls in town talking about someones funeral.
One asked the other if her dad was reading the "trilogy"

BoojaBooja Sat 09-Jul-11 20:54:24

Years ago, in Chester Zoo, dad to young son: "That's the one that's extinct" - pointing at an eagle, flapping around the aviary. Knob.

Halbwahrheiten Sat 09-Jul-11 20:57:09

In the swimming pool changing rooms: ' mummy, I can see your boobies. Why are they so long?' pause. 'mummy, why do you have hair poking out of you knickers?'

NearlyHeadlessNigel Sat 09-Jul-11 20:59:22

grin BoojaBooja

debka Sat 09-Jul-11 21:00:58

My dad overheard this in the swimming pool changing rooms.

'Daddy what's that between your legs?'

'Daddy why is it getting bigger?'

MynameisnotEarl Sat 09-Jul-11 21:06:17

Overheard a mum talking about her daughter being vegetarian.

"She's very creative with her food though - she eats fish." grin

scrappydappydoo Sat 09-Jul-11 21:07:57

Overhead in a changing room a couple of years ago - one women telling her friend how fab her 'dicknee' jeans were. Now I'm not into my labels but I'm pretty sure its pronounced D K N Y
(this is where someone tells me that I'm actually the idiot)

DoingTheBestICan Sat 09-Jul-11 21:08:10

Oh yes i can sympathise with you re darling dc in toilet cubicles with you,

ds Mummy,why have you got a hairy bum?
me I haven't,dont open that door
ds You have Mummy,its really hairy,Why havent i got a hairy bum?
Cue much sniggering from outside
me shush & lets decide where to go next
ds I'm going to wash my hands & the little monkey opened the door with me with my jeans halfway up my thighs

I swore from that day on i will never go the toilet with him in the same cubicle in public ever again.

Another cubicle story was told to me by a friend,her & her dm were out shopping in debenhams,there were 4 toilets & they went in the ones at each end,they heard one girl saying 'I wished i'd have bought that dress now'
The other girl says 'Which one?' First girl says in a just half way through having a poo voice 'Arggh,the 'plop' yellow one'


MumToTheBoy Sat 09-Jul-11 21:12:51

I was shopping in tesco and my ds (5) was telling me all about the 'naked' american Indians who had done an assembly at his school. The woman on the till couldn't stop giggling

begonyabampot Sat 09-Jul-11 21:13:00

went to a local chinese restaurant that the kids love and insisted going to, i like the nicer other one nearby and had been trying to persuade them to go there as the food is much better. Walk in only for ds to proclaim loudly to the nice owner, 'mum says your food isn't very good!'

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