Utterly insane things your parents did when you were growing up

[GetOrf]

My gran thought that liquid paraffin applied to my skin as achild would stop me from burning (in the tropics). God knows why she thought that. I stank! And was wary of lit cigarettes. Needless to say it didn't work and I fried.

She bought a 6 foot long chest freezer from a shop which was going bust, and put it in the hallway. Our house looked like Iceland (Kerry Katona, not volcano) when you walked in. She bought half a cow from a local farmer to put in the deep freeze. We could have had fillet steak, but no, she kept that for best (?) and we ate the offal. Never did eat that fillet steak, it was probably still in the freezer when she died.

Would refuse to pay the council to remove old ovens or whatever, so would wait until the dead of night, we would dress up like burglars and would fly tip the oven (by hoiking it over a 6 foot wall into allotments, or shioving it down a rough path and pushing it into the sea over the harbour wall). Ilfracombe residents of the 80s - that oven on the beach in August was mine.

Same happened with hanging baskets - she would refuse to buy Busy Lizzies or lobelias or whatever to make her hanging baskets, so we would sneak into municipal parks at dead of night and nick 'em.

What eccentric or frankly insane things did your parents or guardians do?

[Hullygully]

I just can't start.

I can't.

[SuePurblybilt]

[kreecherlivesupstairs]

Brew their own beer and leave it in plain view of 10yo children. Me and JN got absolutely bladdered on beer. We did pre plan, Mum's home made pickled onions are just the thing to mop alcohol up aren't they?

[hugeleyoutnumbered]

my gran bathed my head in neat dettol to prevent head lice, burnt scalp ouch, I was sent to a chicken pox party, so we would catch it, ditto mumps, cheers nan

[boolifooli]

My ddad painted over a chocolate stain on my dsis's skirt. I wet the bed on and off until quite old and I never had a plastic sheet. He would drag the mattress out in the garden when I had an accident :(.

[aStarInStrangeways]

My dad used to drive us around in his wood-lined transit van. He would deliberately drive fast over speedbumps and round corners etc. to bounce us about and make us laugh. We loved it

[kaumana]

Home made wine made out of elderflowers and other random things. It smelt like cats pee, never got a chance to taste it but kind of wish I had as probably would have put me off wine for life, but as they didn't

[ChaosTrulyReigns]

ManAlive.

You properly need Hec on this thread.

Her mom was Olympian Standard.

[Beamur]

My Mum tells a story about her Gran. She often spent Saturdays with her and Grans idea of fun was to get dressed up nicely and then trawl round the local churches in search of a wedding, and then try and get in the photos. Hence the nice clothes.
Mum chortles at the thought of people looking though their old photos and wondering who these people are - although she also thinks her Gran was barking.

[kaumana]

LeQueen

[MandaHugNKiss]

LeQueen I'm wetting myself at your Nana's home hairdressing...

[Debs75]

I can't think of one insanely batty thing but you lot are making me roqr with laughter

[Debs75]

sorry roar was laughing at the thought of LeQueens mums hairdo

[EndangeredSpecies]

My mum insisted on verruca socks when I went swimming. Result: I swim like a .. . Can swim to save my life but that's about it.

[izzywhizzyletsgetbusy]

Pa did a deal with a friend of a friend and bought an old decommissioned airplane sight unseen for his dc to use as a playhouse.

When 'plane trundled up on transporter, having caused traffic chaos for miles around, mom deemed it an eyesore and refused point blank to have it anywhere near the house. Pa called in some favours and rented a field on a farm in another State. We rarely got to see, let alone play in, 'our' playhouse.

Years went by. Farmer announced he was selling up and plane would have to go. Pa bought the farm. We call it Pa's Folly but it keeps the family self-sufficient in maple syrup and other goodies. Plane remains in situ; Pa swears he's going to restore it 'one day'.

And there was the dry docked boat that hadn't seen water for 10 years, and wasn't very good at holding it when it was eventually returned to its natural habitat.... suffice it to say that, although some experienced a (temporary) religious conversion, all on board are still alive to tell the tale.

The 'devil horse' that no-one would touch and would have been shot if Pa hadn't stepped in at the eleventh hour. (Many years later Pa's still got a couple of visible hoofprints and bitemarks, db still walks with a slight limp, and I've got a crescent-shaped scar on my hand). Horse continues to thrive, and is now only mean to people he doesn't like - he's proved to be an excellent judge of character).

The countless other creatures that would have met an untimely end if Pa hadn't got wind of their fate and inflicted them on his long-suffering family, to say nothing of the sometimes equally malodorous strangers he continues to bring home unannounced for a good meal (and often a lot more).

Good man, my pa - he's given me a handy hook to hang my spells of insanity on.

[fuckmepinkandCALLmegoran]

My mother used to make me wear verruca socks too. I have never had a verrucca.

I believe I have before told the story of the built in furniture that wasn't debacle, the lets take out the stairrails story and the oh lets remake a mattress?

And of course, the ubiquitous bowl cut, home perm, and brothers hand me down clothes.

Oh and mother's home made knickers out of the tail of shirts.



I have loads.

[ginmakesitallok]

My Mum took my brother and I to various weirdos to get a "charm" for whooping cough, chilckenpox and mumps. I still remember being "passed under a donkey" when I must have been about 5 or 6 - almost put me off willies for life!

[fuckmepinkandCALLmegoran]

Oh yes Gin - I vividly remember Albert who stank to high heaven but had the "charm" for warts

[fuckmepinkandCALLmegoran]

I should add the home made baby buggy made out of one of those trailey shopping wheely trolley things.

The hand painted car.

The home made alcohol.

The olive oil as suncream