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Please remove your book from my knickers DS

(409 Posts)
TheSkiingGardener Thu 26-May-11 07:50:21

said to my 11 month old who presented me with a book to read to him while I was on the loo.

Any other things you never, ever thought you would say?

LatherRinseRepeatAsNeeded Mon 31-Oct-11 14:57:38

No the people in Sainsburys do not want to see mummy's boobs

No don't open the door while mummy is on the loo, the neighbour does not want to see mummy having a wee

Stop eating the cat food, you'll not want any dinner (said almost every day)

No mummys tummy is not called "fat pig" (cue DP choking on his coffee due to trying not to laugh)

No you can't have cereal for lunch/dinner (every meal time)

If you don't like it spit it on to your own plate not mummys

Stop screaming at the cat (another almost daily one)

Noopypappy Sun 27-Nov-11 16:17:02

That's not a duck, it's a packet of crisps. To DS 15 months.

iliketea Sun 07-Oct-12 08:22:35

No dd my nipples are not targets.

To 2.10yo dd while sharing a bath, we had some water pistols.

FTRsMammy Fri 12-Oct-12 23:22:49

"No thank you darling I don't want you to keep me company while I have a poo."

"No FTR, mammy doesn't have a tail" (at top of voice in M&S) " of course you do mammy, let me see"blush

"No darling I'm not going to kiss your tail better"

"I don't understand, where are your trousers??!!??"

"Stop pulling my top down/up"

"Get your hands/head out of my top"

Startailoforangeandgold Fri 12-Oct-12 23:53:27

"No Charlie didn't do it!"
Charlie is a toy dog and thus, I believe, very unlikely to have covered the study floor in washing powder.

After telling dd to find her crawling brother in mothercare (hr had escaped whilst I was trying shoes on her)

Dd: I've got him mummy.
Me upon seeing them: lovely dd now would you get off your brothers back I asked you to find him not sit on him!!

Katiki Sun 30-Dec-12 21:08:56

Dd2 after KS2 sex ed. Whilst I'm driving...

Mummy how many times have you and daddy had sex?
Me erm I'm not sure I haven't counted...

Dd2 Well you have me and Dd1 so you must have had sex AT LEAST TWO TIMES accompanied by look of utter disgust!

Brilliant Thread btw

blondieminx Sun 20-Jan-13 22:21:44

Was reminded of this thread earlier when I had to say.... "Um not sure if teddy needs a tampon up his jumper, not even as a magic wand"


Bringmewineandcake Tue 12-Mar-13 12:55:50

Have only read the 1st page and I already have tears!!

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