Advanced search

Pirate noises during sex????????????????????

(259 Posts)
regularmumsnetter Mon 17-Oct-05 21:51:21

Am too embarrassed to reveal my true identity but i am a bit freaked out by my dp. Recently he has begun to put on a strange voice during sex, eg 'Arr matey' in the style of that weird sea captain from the Simpsons?!

The other one is 'Arr, the ship's a-dockin' and 'My lighthouse is tingling'

There are various others along the same lines but i won't go into them all now.

He is not a sailor btw, and has (AFAIK) no connection to seafaring folk;)

Just wondering if i can say how uncomfortable this is making me feel (it's just f*ing weird IMO, but it seems to be turning him on!).

teeavee Mon 17-Oct-05 22:18:55

buy him a parrot for christmas!
yo-ho-ho and abottle o' rum!

blueteddy Mon 17-Oct-05 22:20:03

Message withdrawn

marthamoo Mon 17-Oct-05 22:21:27

Oh bless his cotton socks - at least he's trying. Absolutely no suggestions (I too would die laughing if dh did anything like this) but full marks to him for not being afraid to try something new. We do complain sometimes that married sex becomes predictable...

charliebat Mon 17-Oct-05 22:23:27

OMG I really hope you are joking. This has made me LOL though

Angeliz Mon 17-Oct-05 22:25:03

i nearly choked on my wine there, sorry but that is SO funny!

soapbox Mon 17-Oct-05 22:27:29

Do you have any Ds's? If so line up a few of their play pirates round the bed and say 'I've been enjoying your pirate act so much I thought it was time for a gang bang'

If you want to stop it I would watch a pirate film together and make sure during the film that you say 2 or 3 times that pirates are not really your cup of tea!

Moo's right it is quite sweet in a way so let him down gently

motherinferior Mon 17-Oct-05 22:33:01

Damn, I just wiped a whole post about how I agree with Moo - and you do have to tell him - but that you will please tell us if he moves on to new exciting roles like Arctic Explorers ('feel that furry muff') or Jungle Adventures ('penetrate that rainforest') won't you? Please?

puff Mon 17-Oct-05 22:35:57

nothing to add to the already fab advice, but this is why I love mumsnet!

Passionkiller Mon 17-Oct-05 22:36:46

Wet myself laughing at this, so sorry no advice though.

laligo Mon 17-Oct-05 22:41:08

on a different tack rmner... perhaps you could shed your nautical inhibitions and try getting into it? i'm sure you could find some pirate porn on the web!

frannykenstein Mon 17-Oct-05 22:42:55

Sweet jesus....weak with laughter, sorry...

Ahem. [pulls self together] The only semi-helpful advice I can give is, let's face it, it could be a lot worse. At least this is harmless, sort of sweet in its inept attempt at raunchiness, and quite amusing. He could be asking you to stuff gerbils where the sun don't shine, or something.

Blu Mon 17-Oct-05 22:43:38

Say 'ah harrr I do enjoy seamen!'.

spidermama Mon 17-Oct-05 22:44:46

Great advice rmner. Go on, embrace the pirate within.

buffytheharpsichordcarrier Mon 17-Oct-05 22:45:24

Blu - seaman! nice work arfarf

Blu Mon 17-Oct-05 22:45:37

Oh no, I am collapsing with laughter even more at MI's post - and it's not funny! I've had open jaw surgery today (tooth removal) and my jaw is killing me!

laligo Mon 17-Oct-05 22:49:38

so to speak, spidermama.

QueenVictoria Mon 17-Oct-05 22:49:38

PMSL - sorry rmner!

Gobbledispook Mon 17-Oct-05 22:51:13

OMG, ROFLMAO - you lot are hilarious!

Is this Rhubarb having another larf?!

Blu Mon 17-Oct-05 22:51:55

Didn't FairyFly's ex write a romantic poem about lighthouses docking?

spidermama Mon 17-Oct-05 22:52:19

Who cares who it is I'll be tittering myself to sleep thanks to this.

Gobbledispook Mon 17-Oct-05 22:52:56

Oi Spidey - has your dh been on waking the dead yet?!

soapbox Mon 17-Oct-05 22:53:32

Just showed DH this thread as I was laughing so much - hope he doesn't get any ideas


spidermama Mon 17-Oct-05 22:53:46

Not yet. Maybe next week. I can't remember what his ep' is called but he plays the title role. (ie 'The Dead' )

motherinferior Mon 17-Oct-05 22:54:10

Sudden chilling thought - he's not, you know, wearing a hat as well, is he?

Dior Mon 17-Oct-05 22:54:16

Message withdrawn

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now