getting "respectful relationships" onto the Curriculum - Could it be our next campaigne please?

[yogididabooboo]

hi, i witnessed a seriously heartbreaking incident tonight.

I posted about it Here

whilst discussing it i have tried to think of ways we could make efforts to prevent girls living like this in teh future. I believe education is key.

Is there anyway that we could maybe campaign to get something like "respectful relationships" on the curriculum?

I know that many schools have PSHE nowdays but i think that Domestci abuse has become so prevelant that this needs to taught as a specific subject.

What do we think?

[NoSuchThingAsSociety]

There's more to this than just a need for a "campaign". If it's not targeted it reaches no-one.

Certain scum treat people like this. You need to identify who those scum are and adapt your message accordingly.

Get role models with whom they are likely to identify and have them hammer home the message that this behaviour is 100% unacceptable.

Unfortunately such behaviour is learnt through observation. This only emphasises the need to deal with it, now...once and for all.

[Underachieving]

You also seem to be under the mistaken impression that it's uncommon. It isn't.

Again from WomensAid " One in four women : An analysis of 10 separate domestic violence prevalence studies found consistent findings: 1 in 4 women experience domestic violence over their lifetimes and between 6-10% of women suffer domestic violence in a given year (Council of Europe, 2002)."

[yogididabooboo]

just went to find that exact quote
Thanks

[Goblinchild]

I think it is an ineffective way to communicate the message, by wedging it into an overcrowded curriculum.
It is already taught as part of the hidden curriculum, school rules and rights and responsibilities that are already established elements. Do you really think that if the incident had occurred in school that it would not have been challenged at the boy sanctioned? As well as his mates for condoning his behaviour?
It is the wider world you need to look to to change.
Making it a lesson isn't the quick fix that so many on here seem to crave, teachers are not magicians.
Start a campaign to change what is on TV, in themusic industry and witnessed by adolescents in their home lives and in the relationships of the adults around them.
I think you are well-intentioned but completely clueless.

[yogididabooboo]

thanks for that Goblin.

I totally agree with what you are saying about TV and music video's and song. i cannot tell you how many times i have winced at lyrics from songs talking about "my bitch" etc.

But i think that the younger children get the direct message that aggression has no place in a loving relationship the more chance we have of stamping it out.

Obviously I also believe that there needs to be a stronger message in society to help this filter through. I think that there needs to be a tougher stance on domestic violence.

A man can do appauling things to his partner behind closed doors and end up with a fine.
if he did the same to another man in the street he would be serving time at HMP.

Of course that is only the cases that actually get to court. the vast vast majority of abusive partners don't even get spoken to by ppolice as their victim doesn't feel they can speak out. they don't feel safe and they know the statistics that the most dangerous time is when you try to leave/seek help.

As i say, they currently have PSHE at schools which is where they squeeze sex education in. I think that it should all be part of the same thing. that before you reach teh stage where you are worrying about sex you should be in a respectful relationship.

[moondog]

God, the idea of some teacher trying to 'teach' my kids about 'respectful relationships' would send me apoplectic.

That kind of thing needs to be dealt with at home.

[yogididabooboo]

I agree Moondog. But it doesn't seem to be happening.

[Goblinchild]

Perhaps parenting classes are a better idea, so that young children can be brought up in a safe, loving and respectful environment by supportive and nurturing parents.
Then they can replicate that in their own relationships throughout their lives.
It's no good giving out 30 minutes of theory and role play and circle time and expecting it to be the panacea you are looking for.
Sorry to be trying to remove your rose-tinted specs, do you work in an area that gives you any experience of working with family breakdown, neglect and abuse?
It just seems as if you are saying that schools should teach respectful relationships and self-worth and that will fix all the broken children.
I disagree.

[yogididabooboo]

Yes i do.

I don't think it is a cure all. if it were then we wouldn't have such a problem with STI's in young people.
or drug abuse or obesity or...


But I think the message about doemstic abuse isn't out there. It isn't on the news, there aren't ad campaigns, there is no widespread getting the message out there.
And when there are short running capmaigns ( i am thinking of the womens aid ad a few years back about the dinner party) they are almost exclusivly aimed at adults.
and almost always saying "if you are being abused there are places you can get help"

We need something hard hitting to say actually no, domestic abuse will not be tolerated in our society. that if you inflict pain and suffering on someone you will be punished.
But at the same time we need to drip feed the message that respect should be the basis of every relationship, however breif.

[GeekLove]

I think this would be an excellent idea. I suspect that with teens and how people view teens is that their relationships somehow don't count, particularly if they are still at school.
As well as tacking the issues of what are the indicators of DV and other abuse, it wouldn't hurt to touch on other aspects like whT is respectful behaviour, particularly if people haven't got much experience of it.

Of my teen relationships there was one when my then-BF genuinely didn't understand my concerns about unprotected sex, and that his description of 'tempted' behaviour was actually rape. Needless to say that relationship died a death very quickly but I am all too aware that others my not have the same level of self-worth and confidence to spot unreasonable behviour.
What would also be good as part of this campaign would to encourage teens and young people to find self worth that is not determined by how good they look or their attractiveness to the opposite sex.