Help me! How do I do bath/bedtime on my own?(15 Posts)
So, as you know, I've been very lucky and had DH at home for the first 6 months. Plus, my family come to help very often. We have a great bedtime routine for the twins that usually looks like this:
I bath 1st baby whilst DH amuses 2nd baby
DH baths 2nd baby while I feed 1st baby and put them down to sleep
I feed 2nd baby and put them down to sleep
I drink wine
Now that I am on my own, it looks more like this:
I bath 1st baby whilst 2nd baby screams blue murder in their cot because they have turned over onto their tummy and got stuck or pulled mobile onto their head.
I dress 1st baby while 2nd baby continues to scream, despite having been turned onto back and given toy.
I bath 2nd baby while 1st baby (who was completely happy during bath) screams blue murder because they want feeding NOW
I dress 2nd baby while 1st baby screams louder.
I feed 1st baby while 2nd baby (who was fine during bath) screams because they want feeding NOW
I put 1st baby down to sleep (but it's hard because 2nd baby is screaming in their ear)
I feed 2nd baby whilst dreaming of neat gin.
I put 2nd baby down to sleep and then force my exhausted body to finish the household chores before pouring small glass of wine (and wishing was neat gin)
HELP! What am I doing wrong? I really want to continue to do baths as it has been part of their bedtime routine for so long and they settle to sleep very quickly by themselves so I don't want to change anything if I can help it, but it must be easier than this?
What do you do?
I quite quickly went from bathing them every day to spacing baths out more - ie, do each one every other night so it alternates. Have to say it does get a bit easier when they can sit up independently - then you can do them together which is mega cute (although still a pain in some ways). To tell the truth, mine now only get bathed 2 or 3 times a week and don't seem to be any worse for it - cutting down baths didn't seem to upset their routine/sleep in any way.
Have you tried these? www.mothercare.com/Mothercare-Ergonomically-shaped-bath-support/dp/B000IVQQNQ/sr=1-11/qid=1255966761 /ref=sr_1_11/280-8698492-7090439?_encoding=UTF8&m=A2LBKNDJ2KZUGQ&n=42855041&mcb=core
I had to bath mine on my own so used to put them both in the big bath together using these from about 3-4 mths. They absolutely loved it as they could kick and splash about. Made my life so much easier!
Then it was breastfeed and bed.
I have to add, I didn't bath them every night though!!
I didn't bath my two singletons every night either but used to bath them together. It's a nice routine for little babies so I can see why you'd want to. Can they sit up? If they can sit up and therefore you are worried about them flipping themselves out of the ones Kathryn suggested try these I used both the one Kathryn said and the Tesco one to bath my two together when they were really little. Make sure you get all the towels and shampoo stuff together first and have somewhere (maybe bouncy seats) to put them to dry off cos if you're on your own it's so hard to get two little ones out of the bath if you forget anything!
I used the bath seats which Curiosity linked to from about 6mo (before they could sit up completely) and did mine together every night, as like you I found it helped settle them.
Then I took one out, wrapped in a towel, then the other, wrap, and then carried them one at a time to our bed where I dressed them and then did a tandem BF. Is tandem an option for you?
My twins are 5 months old now and they've been bathed together since birth - they love being in the bathroom and only ever cry if they're really hungry. I get them both undressed in there with a bit of nappy off time while they kick about on a sheepskin and towels. Then I put one in the bath support (the one in the link), to have a good splash and wash the other. Then quickly whip out the one in my arms, wrap him in a towel and put him back on the sheepskin while bathing the second. Then he's out, wrapped in a towel on the floor while I dry, massage and oil the first. Then do the second one. Then I dress both of them in the bathroom.
As someone else already mentioned do make sure you've got everything close to hand - towels, flannels,nappies, etc.
Usually they'll be starving by now and as soon as I take them out of the bathroom to their room for a feed they'll start screaming (but I've developed almost complete tolerance by now). I don't breastfeed them in the evening so I feed them both together and as soon as the bottles go in to their mouths silence descends. Bliss! Am sure you know how to double feed but through trial and error I've recently realised that if I sit on the floor (leaning against the bed) with a cushion on each leg and plop them onto those rather than against my legs they are completely comfy and don't wriggle. And as a bonus they'll stay there after the bottle's finished so I can wind them one by one.
Phew! Sounds worse than it is - it does take a while to get used to it, but I now kind of enjoy bathtime/bedtime rather than dreading it!
A friend who also had twins used to do the same but one at a time in a baby bath. The she'd prop them both up on a pillow and sit in front to feed them together.
PS. Have just read my message - sounds idyllic doesn't it! But forgot to mention that sometimes one won't feed and just screams, or one of them poos in the bath, or will projectile vomit an entire feed over the carpet. But that's life with twins!
I had one of those bath seats for my singletons (not a multi MUm) and it revolusionised bath times for me.
if they can sit up by them selves, try this, i used the single version for my ds, and am waiting till my twins can be big enough to use this version. you just need a baby chair by the bath to put one in while u carry the other out. ( thats what i am plannig anyhow!! ) perhaps a tandem feed after?
i had one of those ergonomically shaped ones for my dd1 too and it revolutionised bath time. we got given it when she was a few weeks old. i've since bought another off ebay for £1.50 and planning to do the twins together in one each. dd1 adored lying in it, she seemed to feel very safe.
Can I just rave about the plastic ergonomic seats some more. You don't have to hold the baby (ies) they just sit there propped up, can't roll, can't sit up etc etc
Thanks everyone. There are some things here that will really help me. deedar thanks especially for describing your routine exactly - I find it useful to visualise things so a step by step guide is helpful!
I don't tandem feed and I would particularly want to retain this feed as a one on one. However, there are things both dairymoo and deedar do that I could try e.g. bathing and dressing together on my bed is a great idea and then I could probably have one in a chair/on the floor with me while I feed the other. I might also bite the bullet and try not bathing every night, but I'll try changing the routine a bit first and see if it's good enough.
They don't sit up yet by themselves but they sit up well in high chairs and want to be sitting up all the time so I don't think the ergonomic supports will be useful for long, but bath seats may be an option very soon and lucya and curiosity thanks for the recommendations - I saw the aquapods and thought they looked great but it's always good to know they work in real life!
oh my i remember this situation so well my dp works away and i'm at home with my 1yr twin boys and 3yr old ds, i just want to say I PROMISE things get easier! i can remember bath times being a total panic for me where same as you one would be screaming while the other was in the bath then vice versa, my advice is to not bath them every night something i was against but realised i had to do being on my own and guess what .. they settled for bed exactly the same, the didnt stink HA HA and they werent any worse off for it, so ive basicaly cut my work load at the most stressful time of the day!!! i found that sitting one of them in a bumbo watching the other in the bath worked well then swapped over while i bathed the other one! then both in the bedroom for pj's on, and downstairs each in a corner of the setee me in the middle with there bottle and bed...... phooooooooorrrr i'm shattered even thinking about that again!! they r 15 months now and sit in bath together get one out dried and ready while other plays then other out, so so much easier , i promise i really do it gets pleasurable to bath them once they r sittling up and playing!!!
Thanks Aprilgirl. I figured that really I just need a strategy to get through a few months until they can sit up, so it's good to hear you say so.
Tonight, I made two changes to my routine: had a bouncy chair in the bathroom and bathed them one after the other with the other one sitting in the chair. Then took them both to my room to put them in their grobags and fed one whilst the other was on the floor with a dummy. Made HUGE difference. No crying at all.
Tomorrow will add dressing them in their sleepsuits on my bed (just put on nappy and vest in the bathroom) and might also get them both undressed before going into the bathroom to cut down the amount to do whilst kneeling on the floor (tough on postnatal joints! - plan to move slowly over time to something closer to deedar's routine.
Your suggestions all helped me come up with ideas that would work for me. Thank you so much
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