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Am I allowed to be fed up?

(20 Posts)
firsttimetwins Thu 10-Sep-09 20:49:39

Hello, I'm new to this thread. I'm 30+1 with identical twin girls, I'm the size of a house, I'm going to need a crane to get out of bed soon, I need to pee every 5 minutes, none of my shoes fit cause my feet are too swollen, I've grown out of all my maternity clothes, everything I eat gives me heartburn, moan moan moan... Obviously I want these babies to stay put for another 7 or 8 weeks, but at the same time I'm totally fed up. Is that really bad of me? Anyone in or been in the same position or am I a particularly moany old cow? (Please note I am also aware that I am very lucky to have had a pregnancy that so far (touch wood) has only involved little things to moan about but nothing serious apart from a bit of a scare between weeks ten and thirteen, but that doesn't stop me feeling a bit fed up...)

firsttimetwins Thu 10-Sep-09 20:50:20

Not thread, talk. Am newish to mumsnet too, still not down with the jargon...

NotQuiteSoBigBird Thu 10-Sep-09 20:56:31

This made me smile, everyone I've met who was pregnant with twins moaned constantly after 28/30 weeks, it's completely normal. For me, and a really good friend who lives close by who was a few months ahead of me with her twins, the last weeks were interminable. We both said it was MUCH easier having had them, especially in the first weeks when they sleep a lot. Just try and think of the small mercies - it's not boiling hot, the pregnancy is going relatively well etc. But it is much harder to carry twins, don't beat yourself up smile. Good luck, I think twins rock grin.

firsttimetwins Thu 10-Sep-09 21:00:31

Thanks, NotQuiteSoBigBird, it's good to know I'm not the only moany old cow going. But I'm REALLY looking forward to the end of October.

throckenholt Thu 10-Sep-09 21:01:17

nope - that is par for the course - I certainly felt that way too.. I agree - try and be thankful it is not the start of summer - it will be getting cooler now (I had my single in mid Jul and it was horrible, my twins were mid Jan - much better for being pregnant).

Just try and be patient - try and catch up on sleep - it will be in short supply for a while . Potter about, read books, relish having no babies - pamper yourself

tryingtosleep Thu 10-Sep-09 21:03:08

Yes I've been there - mine are 15 months now - but can still remember those days.
Don't worry it won't be long... (I know everyone says that) - but it won't.

Are you on maternity leave yet - I started mine at 30 weeks and just spent the last 6 weeks on the sofa w/ the cat! (When I wasn't going to the zillion hospital appointments!)

Good luck and keep moaning - it always made me feel better!

preciouslillywhite Thu 10-Sep-09 21:04:13

You're DEFINITELY allowed to be fed up. IME, it's The Law! I've got 6 yo twins but I still remember those last looooooong weeks of pregnancy, being awake all night while dp snored blissfully unaware next to me and foxes scrapped in the street outside yip yap yip fact I was awake at 4 to hear the milkman every night for the last 6 weeks angry

Oh, and GOD! the reflux!and the ankles!!

...hang on. I was supposed to be cheering you up there, wasn't I??grin

firsttimetwins Thu 10-Sep-09 21:12:23

Ha ha, well it makes me feel better to know I'm not the only one! I'm not quite on maternity leave but I have been working part time for the last couple of weeks. I work from home and can even work in bed if I'm feeling too huge/lazy to get up, which has helped a lot throughout the pregnancy (I don't know how women with "proper jobs" can do it, I have huge admiration for them).

Bmum1 Thu 10-Sep-09 21:33:35

Yep I felt just the same. I couldn't wait to get them out and spent my last few weeks sulking in the house.

anjlix Fri 11-Sep-09 13:53:56

sulking is to put it mildly. I think I cried 2-4 hrs per day in sheer misery. I wasn't even that big and delivered early. Its just hard and thats it! But the early days were hell too. I think after 3 months the fog started to lift. Now they are 9 months and my lil friends

firsttimetwins Sat 12-Sep-09 08:52:10

Oh dear, that sounds nasty, I'm not quite that bad just yet. Though I have just discovered the difference between heartburn and reflux and would be happy to go back to just the heartburn...

curiositykilled Sat 12-Sep-09 17:23:39

I feel exactly the same firsttimetwins 32+4 today with boy/girl twins. I am finding the ordinary mint flavoured chalky rennies quite good for the reflux. I find I generally have to take 1 or 2 after eating most meals but they seem to work well.

My pre-pregnancy weight was 10.5 stone and I now weigh 14 stone!!! It is ALL babies, I have not got an ounce of fat on me and may well have lost some because of the constant sickness.

I hate having to go up and down the stairs and will be soooooo glad when these babies are here. I know just how you feel. I unwisely did an AIBU thread about this same thing around 30 weeks and got absolutely flamed by the TTC, IVF lot for being inconsiderate blush Doing yours here was wiser

Put your feet up and make the most of being able to work from home and don't feel bad for moaning. My twin pg has been so much harder than either of my singletons I am a bit resentful and in shock about it!

londonlottie Sat 12-Sep-09 22:22:42

Message withdrawn

curiositykilled Sun 13-Sep-09 09:28:19

londonlottie - to be fair I can see the error of my ways: a. people who have never had a twin pregnancy don't understand them at all and b. I posted in AIBU, which was overwhelmingly stupid! I think nausea is worse than sickness, at least if you are sick you get a bit of relief. With the nausea you spend your whole life recoiling at smells or food and holding your hand over your mouth waiting to be sick. I found the sick a relief but I was surprised that in the early days I actually woke myself up needing to vomit in the middle of the night all the time - mental!

Don't worry about the envy I feel a bit smug blush to be 32+5(!) now! lol, you get the envy but then you get the smug... and the guilt over the smug, coupled with the wanting to shout from the rooftops 'I am nearly to my 34 week marker of being allowed my nice MLU delivery'!

I think for me, everything became less worrying after 20 weeks and I gradually settle down and became less stressed but I feel like I have wasted the whole 32 weeks. I have been so unproductive, DH has been under so much pressure, my other children have been neglected and I have absolutely nothing to show for it currently.

I would pester for the three pronged maternity support belt for your spd and rest as much as you can. That has really helped mine not to progress too much.

firsttimetwins Sun 13-Sep-09 21:14:54

I think the inventor of Rennies should be awarded the Nobel Prize or something.
It's really interesting to hear what other people have to say about the difference between twin and non-twin pregnancies; I spent a lot of the first few months thinking I was just a bit of a weakling, but it does seem to be harder going. I hadn't expected it to be quite so debilitating, mind you...!

Gelamum Mon 14-Sep-09 16:48:41

My twins are now 2 but just read what you said about the difference between twin and singelton pregs....

Twins ones are more than twice as hard !! shock

I had a singleton first and that preg only got very hard in the last few weeks.

It makes sense really, at half way through my twin preg I was the same size and carrying the same weight as a singleton mum at full term. BUT..
... the big difference is, in my opinion, if you are near the end of a single preg you can rest, kind of give up everything, ask for loads of help from everyone, as you only have 2 or 3 weeks left.

But with a twin preg when you get to that same size, you CAN'T collaspe, call in all help because they is still 4 1/2 months- ish left ( if they are not early ).

Most twin mums at half way have not gone on mat leave yet and its just too long to rest all the time and stay in.

When you are near full time as singleton, you naturally get sensisble, call in all favours and hibernate / do as little as possible. That is what twins mums should be able to do also, I think.

It was a full time job for me, just eating rennies, swigging gavison, trying to find food I could eat, and trying to get some sleep... from 4 months onwards.

Mind you, I went full term with my two and they were 6 and 8 pounds ! It is SO worth it once they are here. smile I found first month with two newborns was easier than the pregnancy, if that helps ??

nothingbyhalves Thu 17-Sep-09 22:21:55

I was looking for some advice and think i may have found it. I'm almoest 15 weeks with twins (first timer) and have been finding just everyday things starting to be a challenge. Things like staying awake, emptying the dishwasher, working full time, and not shouting, crying, whining at my hubbie.

All of my friends seemed to sail through their (singleton) pregnancies and the advice i'm getting is making me feel like i'm milking this pregnancy thing, and its not as hard as i'm making out. I don't feel ill or sick, just soooooo tired, no energy and my hips are starting feel rather sore if i'm on the move for too long or don't move for long.

Am i being a drama queen?

londonlottie Fri 18-Sep-09 10:22:37

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firsttimetwins Fri 18-Sep-09 10:46:14

nothingbyhalves, it sounds like we're in exactly the same boat. And everybody promised me a burst of energy in the 2nd trimester that just never happened. Thankfully my partner is veeeery understanding and has taken over doing everything in the house, without blinking an eye. And he has put up with some SERIOUS moaning from me.
londonlottie, I know what you mean about worrying about seeming not to pull your weight, but good grief, moving house when pregnant with twins is ambitious, I hope you're managing to sit back and do as little as possible.
I thought I'd sail through pregnancy too, everyone else I know seemed to. But I'm glad there are lots of others in the same boat as me on here, it really helps to know it isn't just me.

nothingbyhalves Fri 18-Sep-09 11:31:29

londonlottie, i moved house this summer, granted I only thought i was having one then, but i simply just had to be the taxi driver, tea maker, organiser. Cash in on as much help as you can. My mother and sister in law came round after the move to help unpack, and my mum bless her worked her ass of for 3 days, cleaning etc.

I'm with you on the feeling guilty for taking a back seat, but my husband has been quite firm about making me take it easy, and has taken over a lot of the house hold chores (i have had to fight the urge to re do everything he does tho).

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