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What advice do you wish you`d had.

(17 Posts)
Bart Tue 31-May-05 14:35:07

What advice /information/ words of encouragement do you wish you`d been given before you had twins?

TwoIfBySea Tue 31-May-05 21:40:18

Trust your judgement as a mother.

charellie Tue 31-May-05 21:52:40

To have a feeding and sleeping routine and stick to it.

That having twins is magical.

twins2cute Fri 03-Jun-05 00:26:53

I wish we had had more positive responses when telling people we were having twins.

I wish i had been told to be more selfish at the beginning and not allowed us to become a show for all the people that wanted to see "the twins!" and who just to mention most don't come now!

I wish I'd been told to be honest about how hard I have found having twins & thought about myself more rather than minding everyone elses feelings!!

I wish someone had said just enjoy every moment it really doesn't matter about the house, washing or ironing as the time goes by so quckly! My twins have just been 3!!

Totally agree with TwoIfBySea to trust your judgement as a mother. Also don't feel guilty for having to do things differently. Especially if your twins are the first born. No matter what having two babies is harder work than one and you have to adjust accordingly.

I wish I had sorted with grandparents what their roles were to be in the boys lives. Something that has gone totally wrong now! But thats another topic.

I wish someone had told my dh & I to take some time for us.

But most of all I wish someone had told me that my life would be enriched by two tiny little beings who I would love so much and who I would do anything for. It would be hard but worth every precious minute!

If your expecting twins & reading this enjoy every minute of something very special!

MarsLady Fri 03-Jun-05 00:32:05

I think that having the DTs last has been good for us. There isn't anything that I wish I'd been told, but only cos I felt happy with myself and my parenting.

However, like twins2cute I wish people could have responded better to the news that we were expecting twins, but to be honest that's their lookout.

I love having them and I love watching them. If you're having twins then enjoy enjoy enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What I'd say to someone else is what has already been said.... don't worry about the house, take help when and where you can, trust yourself you're a good mother!

Meeely2 Fri 03-Jun-05 14:29:13

I don't think there is anything anyone could have said that would have made the life changing impact any easier to bear. Nothing can prepare you for whats about to happen, so sit back, enjoy your pregnancy, RELAX (I didn't and mine were born at 29 + 1 weeks) and wait for your little bundles to arrive.

You'll be tired, you'll be cranky, you'll look like mrs mop, you will have days where you just don't get dressed BUT who cares! You've been blessed with having twice the fun, twice the smiles, twice the giggles, twice the joys etc etc, so pat yourself on the back and give the littles ones a snuggle (when they're here).

the advice/encouragement comes after they arrive and we'll be here ready to bestow it on anyone who asks, cos believe me if it's happening to you, it will have happened to all of us!

Take care - I assume Bart, you are expecting twins or knows someone who is?

Tortington Sat 04-Jun-05 01:23:58

"close your legs - next time it couldbe twins."
"you will be poor for the rest of your life!"
"Do you realy want strange old people stopping you in the street for no reason?"
"for fecks sake - learn to drive. getting on a bus is a focking nightmare with two babies a toddler a twin pramand your shopping."
all could have come in useful

Tortington Sat 04-Jun-05 01:54:13

don't buy anything new.
dont feel guilty
steralise bottles in any clean container - it doesnt have to be some swanky shiny plastic thing from mother care.
get relatives to buy you nappies and toilettries when they are born instead of some shatwicky balloon and a bunch of flowers or some cutie suit they saw in the devil shop (mothercare)

dont buy a baby bath do it int he sink - that way you dont have to bend over so much an things are more to hand.

you dont have to bath them every day
babies cry- its what they do you dont always have to shut them up.

you will feel special for a while - it wears off around the time your twins are no longer "cute"

your holidays will now be very expensive - try camping.

dont wake a baby up. if one wakes up you ont have to wake the other one up to feed them.

if bottle feeding - buy a mini fridge and a mini kettle for upstairs. this totally unecessary expense ould save you valuable sleep time. and your partner can do it too.

when men go to work - they go for a rest. when they come home its our turn to rest
sleep when you can
washing can wait
if he sys the housei s untidy tell him to fetcocking tidy it if hes so bothered.

Tortington Sun 05-Jun-05 00:34:24

well bart? what are your thoughts on our comments?

figleaf Sun 05-Jun-05 17:32:43

Custardo,I think they`re all brilliant!

We have friends who are expecting twins Meeely2. I`ve told them about MN and even Emailed them sections. I`ll be sendeng this post next, when I think all your wisdom has stopped coming.

Tortington Sun 05-Jun-05 18:20:08

cwor ta muchness, err but i think thats it.

jac34 Mon 06-Jun-05 18:55:09

I'd say spend more time, fussing and cuddling them, it realy does go too fast.
Mine are 6.5, and I've been so busy it's gone by in a flash, I wish I'd had more time to enjoy it rather than rushing about.

triplets Mon 06-Jun-05 22:31:05

Well as the mother of triplets I can only say it is truly the hardest job I have ever known, permanently exhausted, broke, frustrated with how stressful life can be with my 7yr olds, at my age! BUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
They are my world, my reason to be here, my heart is so full of love for them, they are truly truly special, I am proud to tell people they are triplets, get sooooooooo cross with thoughtless replies like "poor you". Feel proud of myself for giving these clever special good looking little people to this world. As cross as you are with them, always make up at bedtime, they are told every day they are loved, I can never remember my mother telling me that.

MarsLady Mon 06-Jun-05 22:33:30

triplets......... whenever they say poor you, just remember that I'm saying Well done! You have my respect and admiration!

triplets Mon 06-Jun-05 23:00:51

Thank you Marslady,
You can so easily get swallowed up yourself when you have more than one at a time! Its so nice when people actually say something nice to you, see you as a person, not just the mother of three!

jambo1707 Tue 14-Jun-05 16:05:52

I agree with mars lady it aint poor you it IS well done.

We have all been blessed with these little cherubs. YES its hard work but its worth every penny.

I have a 3 year old son as weel as 17 month twins and feel I got on better 2nd time around as I was aware of the problems that could occur with babies.

We had our problems at the beggining but we soon got into a routine that my boys hate to be out of, THEY HATE CHANGE!!!!!

sandyballs Tue 14-Jun-05 16:16:02

Just enjoy it as much as you can, through the sleep-deprived haze! It's very very special and passes very very quickly. My non-identical DDs are now 4.4 and start school in September and I feel weepy thinking how their baby/toddler years have flown. Wish I could do it all again. Sometimes

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