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sensitive subject, apologies if I am posting in the wrong place, DS asking about twins and he may have been one

(8 Posts)
hereidrawtheline Fri 31-Jul-09 10:38:16

I just wanted to talk to someone about this I guess who may understand. Sorry if it is the wrong place to post.

I have one DS who is 3 in a week. I had a lot of complications in his pregnancy & birth, he was induced early etc. I had a de-briefing with the head consultant afterwards because it was so bad and he told me then that looking back on my records, at the greater picture he would have bet money that DS was a twin and one of the babies was lost early on. My first scan was at 13 weeks by then I was already hospitalised and he said he felt if they had scanned me earlier they would have found 2 heartbeats.

This was just voicing my gut feeling anyway, I cant explain why but it made perfect sense to me. And I've always thought about it also now in relation to DS's SN (he is in the process of being DX with ASD)

He just saw twins on cbeebees and was asking me what twins were and I said it is when there are two babies in their Mama's tummy instead of just one. And then he asked me what happens when there is just one in the end? Which did freak me out a bit to be honest and made me sad so I wanted to talk to someone. Hope that is ok.

OmicronPersei8 Fri 31-Jul-09 10:40:23

We're watching it too - poor you, that must have given you a bit of a shock.

hereidrawtheline Fri 31-Jul-09 10:43:06

it did. DS is a very very odd child. I mean he is lovely beyond belief but very odd he says the weirdest things sometimes. And for him to say what happens when there is just one did really unsettle me.

edam Fri 31-Jul-09 10:48:44

I can see why it unsettled you but you have to remind yourself it was in all probability just a stray remark of ds's, nothing pointed about it.

Of course it's painful for you, but I bet he wasn't worried at all?

OmicronPersei8 Fri 31-Jul-09 10:49:18

Are you ok now? I don't have any sage advice, just saw your post and didn't want it to go unanswered. Sometimes children to say things that give you a little shiver. I suppose their curiosty sometimes follows where we've actually been. If that makes any sense.

hereidrawtheline Fri 31-Jul-09 10:52:14

I am alright. I think it just made me feel this irrational urge to question him. Which I wouldnt as it would be utter madness. But I wish I knew for sure that what I and the consultant suspected was true. I wish I could feel I had the right to be sad sometimes about it and mention it from time to time. As it is I just feel like a fraud thinking about it. Then when DS said that it felt like, for a second, he knows! He can tell me. And maybe it explains why he is so emotionally fraught.

curiositykilled Tue 04-Aug-09 13:08:27

I think you're never going to know whether what the consultant said was true or not. You could make a decision as to what you're going to believe though. That might help you get some feeling of closure evntually. No-one knows but if both you and the consultant suspect I'd be inclined to just believe that it had happened.

I'm not sure what I'd do about talking about things with your DS though. I normally make sure I talk to my two about all the things I feel and try to answer all their questions about things properly but this might be a step too far. You don't want to give him a reason to feel sad. Deciding what you're going to believe might be a step in the right direction though, things might follow on from there.

idobelieveinfairies Wed 05-Aug-09 18:50:11

I was carrying triplets with my last pregnancy..i was at the 12 week scan and i could see it was twins straight away. The scan took a while and then the lady asked if i had had any bleeding..which i hadn't. She said there was something else which looked like it would have been a 3rd baby but hadn't made it.

When i saw my consultant a week later for another scan he said that the 3rd sac had almost all been absorbed

It happens quite often a pregnancy starts off as twins but 1 doesn't make it.

I hope your ok.

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