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Would anyone else be slightly offended at being laughed at?

(12 Posts)
curiositykilled Thu 16-Jul-09 16:03:38

I'm 24 weeks with boy/girl twins. I have an excellent obstetric history but I keep having various differences of opinion with my care providers - sounds like I am a mental patient! Lol. My theory is "All you can plan for is if everything is normal because if things are not normal you have to accept whatever intervention might be necessary" BUT everytime I explain this to any midwife or doctor their reaction is "HA HA HA! Everything won't be normal with twins!" It is really starting to annoy me! Why not? Why shouldn't everything be normal when I have fraternal twins and an excellent obstetric history? Why is it SO unlikely that the mere suggestion that I might consider planning for it is laughable?

LovingtheSilverFox Thu 16-Jul-09 16:10:15

its not laughable, but sensible! plan away girl, i did, and feltconfident and relaxed. however don't be disappointed/feel let down if things turn out differently, twins can be unpredictable.

sorry for typing, left hand only as babies on my lap!

LovingtheSilverFox Thu 16-Jul-09 16:14:34

there is no reason things wont be normal, mine were both breech and had the natural birth i planned for, but things can go quick in twins delieveries, so try to discuss scenarios with mw and think about how you would deal with those.

<< Puts babies down>>

If planning makes you feel more comfortable and at ease, that is the important thing.

good luck x

Trudi2009 Thu 16-Jul-09 19:00:51

I'm 20 weeks with twins and I know exactly what you mean.

Luckily my doctors and midwifes are mostly great and are planning for a 'normal' birth with intervention only if needed. But the odd midwife and everyone else is banging on like I'm having aliens. I have got a little mad on a few occasions with people who either laugh at me or imply I don't know what I'm letting myself in for or dont know what I'm doing. It's really condescenting and I've responded a few times with sarcasm by asking the person what happend when they had twin knowing full well they haven't had them.

You're not the first to have twins and won't be the last. It's hardly cutting edge science, people have been giving birth to twins for hundreds of years. (or at least that's what I keep saying to myself)

You're not mental - everyone else is

GodzillasBumcheek Thu 16-Jul-09 21:34:05

They sound a bit condescending really. No reason why you shouldn't plan, just be aware that you may need to be flexible.
I didn't really have much of a plan though - i was told water birth and walking around were out of the question, and had a choice mainly in what pain relief was used.
Apart from that the twins got to decide date, time and delivery method (which btw was midnight, a day late, and vaginal delivery).

curiositykilled Thu 16-Jul-09 23:16:02

All your experiences sound promising! I think I'm mainly still mad from the midwife ranting about 'no-one will do a breech delivery for the second twin' and I'd have to have a section because of a randomised trial meaning no-one has experience of breech even though personally she does... blah... blah... blah... and there's no point in even writing a birth plan because most midwives don't think it's worth the paper it's written on... blah... blah... blah... I think this latest sarcasm is a sign I am confident in what I have researched and the choices I have made up till now and I'm relaxing a bit... They really are a pain in the arse though, all of them! lol... Think I have considered and planned for as many different interventions and scenarios as it is humanly possible to consider and plan for and I think they feel they are able to patronise and ignore me because I'm relatively young. Idiots. Oh, what rage!

curiositykilled Thu 16-Jul-09 23:17:54

Think it also wouldn't be as much of a pain to be laughed at about this if they were actually willing to discuss anything abnormal with me too.

madlentileater Thu 16-Jul-09 23:33:44

Hi
YANBU to be offended.
Complications may be more likely but that's not to say inevitable or even likely.
I had fraternal twins, one head down, one slightly across, delivered kneeling, no pain relief, no intervention, was upright and relaxed through most of a short labour, this was quite a few years ago now and I'm sorry to hear you are still getting all this nonsense.
Just in case they give you grief about bf also, it is of course possible to bf twins, what with you having 2 breasts and all.
Good luck!

kathryn2804 Fri 17-Jul-09 10:13:33

Hear hear on the breastfeeding. Had more trouble with people not thinking that was possible, than the natural birth thing. Happily it was

curiositykilled Mon 20-Jul-09 10:34:56

I think generally no-one would dare telling me breastfeeding was not possible given that apparently I have more experience than most of the health visitors and midwives in our area themselves and I generally make my position and experience absolutely clear the minute anybody mentions it. I'm lucky to have my mum to go to for advice and consolation though so I've never needed to use them for advice. No wonder people think I'm millitant about it though! Lol.

I think, for the moment anyway, they are all distracted with their shock that I might consider being under midwifery care for a twin delivery. I generally avoid Health Visitors after the babies are born - over and above what is necessary for the health of the children anyway and we'll be out of the hospital as soon as we can so no-one will get a chance to moan.

It's such a shame that nearly everyone seems to have had some kind of a negative experience with the 'care providers' during their twin's pregnancy and early days.

magnummum Wed 22-Jul-09 08:34:39

Curiosity - I had a similar experience with my antenatal "care" smile. Anyway my now 10 week old boy/girl twins were born naturally (with no pain relief as midwife didn't believe I was in labour!) at 35+6 weeks and were absolutely fine. Good luck!

curiositykilled Tue 28-Jul-09 10:39:01

Oh, little update. We have transferred care from Ormskirk to Liverpool Womens who are letting us have consultant led care and a MLU delivery. Their suggestions are sensible and they seem motivated to help me have the birth I want and actually seem excited about providing "care outside the guidelines which they and I am comfortable with" - So much better. I feel relieved, my husband just has to conquer the drive now but plenty of time and antenatal appointments for that!

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