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Does anybody else with twin boys (5 and above) feel they must often sound like a sergeant major?

(8 Posts)
MilaMae Sun 14-Jun-09 15:00:14

Just had a week with inlaws including the cousins which are a girl 5 and boy 3. My dc are twin boys 5,5 and a dd 4.

The cousins are very quiet,we are the other end of the spectrum. I noticed that although the inlaws placate and give in more than I ever would and the cousins are more sneaky kind of naughty they all seem so much more quieter and serene than us.

They never bark "no","because I said so" etc but spend ages placating,explaining,excusing and often give in to whining. I just feel a bit sad that their dc have such a serene care free life when mine have to contend with fraught(at times), often strict parents who don't have time to always explain,placate etc. We can rarely give in as the other 2 would pick up instantly.

I know we're different people but I wonder if my dc should be having a more care free childhood. By the end of the week I really felt like a must sound like I'm running an army boot camp at times-"you need to put your shoes on now"'say thankyou","no you can't have an ice cream"'tidy that up" etc.

I also noticed my boys are like cubs (constantly rolling around) and are often noisy compared to this other boy. It is a twin thing isn't it? I know 5 year old boys are like this anyway and with another one to play with it's magnified but to be frank I felt crap by the end of the week.

I don't think we expect too much and we have lovely kids(just noisy and lively at times) but I feel with 3 kids nearly the same age it's a lot of thankyous to insist on,chivying etc. I also find if we don't nip things in the bug quickly chaos can take over so they aren't given as much leeway as these other kids.

I want to know if other twin boy parents are like this too and if you aren't can you share how you manage yours. I'd like to lighten up a bit but often find at full on times it's impossible. We aren't completely bossy parents though-they do have fun a lot of the time toogrin

Tortington Sun 14-Jun-09 15:03:02

i have bg twins and an older one - all now teenagers - but i think your household is normal and the placating etc - would get seriously on my tits. dt2 was always up a tree - always monkey boy

fighting, mud - typical stereotypical boy stuff there is nothing wrongwith that

MilaMae Sun 14-Jun-09 15:56:37

Thanks thats really reassuring.

I guess there's nothing like a week with another family to make you doubt your parenting. You're basically on complete show for all to see warts and all and it is way more stressful than normal life.

I had to frogmarch dtwin2 a couple of times for being cheeky(he made a meal out of the frogmarch both times). blush

It's unfortunate that ours are such real boys and the cousin isn't. He's such a quiet little thing, kind of highlights how different they are. It's hard to believe they're related actually.

To be honest I just felt a bit sad that my dc don't enjoy such a serene life. It would drive me bats too but for a kid it must be nice to grow up in that environment never being nagged,told off,barked at etc. I tried the placating thing for a day and it was exhausting, I'm suspecting I simply don't have enough patience or time.

I guess I'm just concerned I've turned into an old nagbag. smile Do you have to nag less later on?

Tortington Sun 14-Jun-09 16:55:55

lol - no! all through secondary school " have you got a pen, have you got your books, have you got your pe kit, have you got the signed form, have you got your dinner money, train ticket ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,," arrrrrrrrrrrrrgh

some bys are just friggin useless.

i actually think that i am pretty laid back -i let a lot of stuff slide by - but then i was a stickler for other things - so manners for instance - no brainer "WHERES YOUR MANNERS?"

i can't think of anything else lol - but i think yu have to pick your battles

i also noticed that my lads were best behaved when they were being indistrious - give em a hammer some wood and a few nails and watch them build a spaceship -or a car.

same cellotape - cardboard boxes etc

also painting a wall - big paintbrushes - chose a wall in the garden and set yourself up with a book and a brew and look up occasionally to tell them how much they are helping you. have some spare paintbrushes for stray kids who are very jealous.

point is - they like to help out or do stuff - well mine did anyway.

its never ending - but boys are great fun

Tortington Sun 14-Jun-09 16:58:39

there is a regular on going thread for mums of twins - it starts " dya ever wonder....." they change the ending so it could be " dya ever wonder why we wash towels everyday" or something weird like that - but its around this section somewhere - if you didn't already know

MilaMae Sun 14-Jun-09 20:48:26

Thanks for that.

I too let a lot go. Mess,dirt,said cublike behaviour and laborious games of make believe that take over my tiny house etc I can live with.

Rudeness, whining and selective hearing on the other hand all make me twitch.

Will have a look-see at the dya thread.

Thanks again grin

Jajas Sat 20-Jun-09 09:12:50

Just found this as looking through multiple thread for help and hints ha ha!

I've got twin boys coming up to 7yrs soon and to be honest they drive me up the wall a lot of the time and I'm sure they feel the same way about me! Nothing serene about our daily lives, lots of shouting and frustration I'm afraid to say. I hate it too but they don't listen to a word I say at the best of times, so the idea of quietly placating them is frankly hilarious grin!

MilaMae Sun 21-Jun-09 21:13:59

Glad it's not just us thengrin.

When does the obsession with poo,wee,sick,bogeys and yes believe it or not 'runs' end? When??????? Were yours obsessed?

There are 2 or us and 3 of them,we're outnumbered and don't find said words so hilarious.

They giggle/egg each other on and try to compete with more hilarioushmm poo words. They're 5,5 and 4, surely we're near the end of it. By 7??????????

Quiet placating most definitely not an option.

In a lot of ways they're fab kids,very proud of them but quiet and serene they aint.

I do think having more than one dc the same age lovely as it is can be hard at times as they have each other to support,encourage behaviour you sometimes don't want. You have to work harder to gain control of some situations. Hence copious quantities of bellowing grin

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