Coping with first few days home with twins and an older sibling

[Ewemoo]

My twins are 2 weeks old but have been in scbu since birth. They are due out on Sunday all being well but I am now starting to panic about how to cope. I also have a 4 year old dd who I have to get to school (dh has his own business and starts work at 7.30am) and I'm stressing about how to get everyone out of the house on time. They are feeding every 4 hours but are getting increasingly hungry by the day and the only way to go on is to demand feed unless anyone has any better ideas/tips. Please tell me how you coped and was it easier than what you thought it would be?

[maretta]

My top tip for newborns on the school run is to pop them straight into a snow suit.

Leave them in the baby grow, don't worry about nappies etc until you're done.

Make sure uniforms, shoes, books and keys are all left out the night before.

There were mornings when it was hellish but it's got better.

Good luck.

[luckylady74]

I only had to get my 3 yr old ds1 to preschool for 915am, but I was breast feeding the twins and what I did was repeat 'don't sweat the small stuff' and remember that with baby twins there will often be one crying that you can't get to for a minute or 2 (or 5 tbh).
I fed them when they woke at 630ish and then I got dressed (flannel wash), got ds1 dressed and had breakfast. Then fed the twins again just before I went out.
The twins often went out in a snowsuit with the sleepsuit they'd worn the night before still on.
All clearing up/washing up/shower and so on can be done when you get home.
The most awful thing I did was if there were 2 dirty nappies when I was on the way out the door then I left them and did them in the preschool toilets or back of the car when I'd dropped ds1 off - they never got nappy rash!
Do all pack lunch/lay oyt clothes/book bag stuff the night before.Stick up a list at the front door of what you need to remember.
Also if you are late to school - the world will not come to an end.
Lots of luck - you'll be fine.

[frumpygrumpy]

Ewemoo, we have a daily chat thread under multiples called "D'y ever...." do pop in, there are heaps of us in there and will help as much as possible. I'll copy this in there and I'm sure some of the girls will drop by and let you know what they did.

I had similar as my DP worked in London in the early days of having DTs and I was alone. Could your DH do even 1 or 2 morning drop offs a week? ANY little help like that makes such a huge difference. Even if a mum at school could pick up one morning for you....... just for a month or two......

Personally, I fed, changed the babies then showered, then helped my DD1 and got her down to breakfast and settled. Then I tended to the babies and got them in the car/buggy. If they pooed on the way, I dealt with it when I got back (I remember terrible mornings like runny nappies exploding en-route to school and literally wrapping that baby in a blanket til we got home). It was really helpful to lay out everything the night before. I still do. I lay a breakfast table, lay out clothes, shoes and coats at the door, bags packed and sometimes in the car, packed lunches made and in the fridge. It might sound like a military operation but I found it the only way to survive.

I think I pushed myself much too hard in those early days and I wish I had eased up on myself and just been late sometimes and/or reminded myself that I was dealing with newborn TWINS and let the world revolve around me more.

Whether others agree with it or not...........sometimes I would leave the babies in the car, in their car seats, in the car park while I walked DD1 in. (1) it saved such a lot of effort, especially if the weather was bad and (2) sometimes I felt I needed to have just a tiny bit of one to one with my DD1. One time she was having a playground problem and it was at this little bit of time one day that she told me about it. She had to wait such a lot when the DTs came along that it was important to me (and her) that I had even just a snapshot of important time to hear her.

This is going to be such a busy time. You will get through it but you just need to keep telling yourself "it will get easier" if you are having a tough day.

On the daily thread, we truly understand and if you need us, we are here Its a bit of a chatathon at times but just jump in and we will be there

[Ewemoo]

Well, the twins have been home for 2 days now and I am starting to panic about coping on my own as even with my dh it's difficult to get everything done. Bathing the two today took forever and was a military operation. To think I'm going to have to do this every other day by myself (dh doesn't get home till 7pm) is making me feel sick. On top of this my dd1 is making her feelings known about being 'pushed out'. She refuses to do anything we ask her to and enjoys shouting loudly when the babies are trying to sleep. Also I have to take her to her swimming lesson on Saturday by myself with the twins. Help!! It is starting to dawn on me how difficult life will be from now on.

[Egg]

Ewemoo saw your post and couldn't not reply.

The first day I had to do the nursery run on my own with DS1 and DTS (22 months between them) I was terrified but it was ok. And each time it got easier. I was bottle feeding (not sure if you are bottle or breastfeeding), which may have made it easier, plus DS1 is only at nursery so therefore doesn't have to be there at a set time.

They were feeding every 3 hours at first (sometimes even more often) and I was feeding them one after the other so it took a fairly long time, so I would basically try to get out of the house as soon as I had fed the second one. Not sure how you work this if you have to be at school at, say, 9am on the dot though. How long does school run take? Is it walking or in a car?

As for bathing, I quickly discovered mine could survive on 2 baths a week (still do at 12 months, meaning I am only actually alone for one bathtime as DH here at weekend). DS1 used to have a bath every day, and I was determined not to change his routine when DTs were born so somehow I would manage to bath him, feed them all, and get them into bed on my own (I had every Mon, Tues and Thurs with DH home after all three in bed, and on Wed and Fri he was home 6:40pm). DS1 now only has 2 or 3 baths a week and thankfully they are finally all able to have a bath together on a Sunday which makes things easier.

Are you trying to bath them separately or together? I did mine separately at first as was too scared to do them together but once you get used to both together it is a lot easier and less time consuming. Do you have those newborn bath supports? I have two going spare I can send you if you dont (FFP). I would put 2 changing mats on bathroom floor with their towels on, and bath both at same time, then get them out and dry them (harder one they can flip over and try to escape). This only works if bathroom floor big enough mind you (ours is only just, but old bathroom before we moved house would have been impossible).

As for the swimming, I am hoping that you "only" have to be there to watch DD and not get in with her... Is DH not around on a Saturday to help?

As the very wise FG says, go easy on yourself and do not expect everything to be perfect. If either of the DTs had pooed while we were on way to nursery I would have waited until we were home. I never got them changed out of the night clothes before leaving house (still dont always in winter!) as they lived in sleepsuits anyway and were always in snowsuits (winter babies like yours). It does not matter what they look like (mine were pukers, and often would puke over themselves before leaving the house, would just wipe them up a bit and shove on their snowsuits ).

If you can get any help at all, from anyone, do! I had a post natal doula for the first 3 months and she made a big difference. She was never there for the nursery run but knowing she was coming in for a few hours later on made me keep it together (for the most part).

Sorry, am rambling. Just wanted you to know I feel your pain. I think although your DD Is older so therefore you wont have the pushchair issues I had (DS1 still going in pushchair most of the time when DTs were born as he was not yet 2), he was younger and maybe more tolerant of the new babies than a 4 year old might be???

Just seen your last message was 5 days ago and swimming lesson has already happened. Hope it went well.

And big congrats on your twins, and it is fab they are doing ok and out of SCBU!