Best age to move twins to big beds (is it acceptable to keep them in cots until they leave for university?)

[glamourbadger]

I've heard so many horror stories about twins moving to big beds! Can I ask you mums who have been there when you would suggest is the best age?

Is it better to get this out of the way earlier or put it off? My DTs are 2 and a half. They are still happy in grobags and can't climb out - TBH my DT2 is so small she will probably be about 5 before she is tall enough .

The real upside I can see to beds is being able to lie next to them when they won't settle which is happening more frequently. I sometimes find myself laying on the floor next to the cot which is ridiculous!

Would appreciate your advice - cheers

[Leoloopydoo]

GB, no advice but you are really lucky that they can't climb out. dts are 20 months and have been climbing out for a while, its a nightmare to put them to bed now and we are wondering if it would be easier and safer to move them into proper beds. I sometimes climb in cage cot with mine if they need a cuddle in bed !

[OptimistS]

Hi Glamourbadger. My twins are now 21 months and have been in big beds since they were 18 months and started trying to climb out. I put childgates on the doorways, bed guards on the beds, and went round their rooms and made them childproof so that if they got out of beds they may be able to make a mess but couldn't hurt themselves in any way. Hasn't been a problem at all for me. It also means that I can snuggle on the bed with them to read a story or soothe them, which is way nicer. I'm the mother that has, before now, climbed in a travel cot to soothe a fractious toddler and ended up falling asleep in there. Beds are much more comfortable!

[Leoloopydoo]

Optimist, how do you get them to stay in bed and go off to sleep in the first place? I never had much problem with ds1 but with the 2 of them they just wind each other up, get completely hyper.

[coochybottom]

ditto Leo. I was lucky I had the room to give them their own bedrooms when they were about 3yr6mth as I was so fed up with them messing about once they were in beds. I still sometimes have to keep guard on the landing until they are settled and they will soon be 6! What is quite sweet thou is that one of them often goes and sleeps with the other cos he is afraid of the dark.

[kristatwin]

Glad i have read this, as have been wondering about this for a while, mine are 13 months, and yet i know it is still early, i have been lucky so far as they sleep 6.00 till 6.00, most nights, but wondering when the best transition from cot to bed would be, also getting them to stay in there beds once they are in, dreading this stage as feel i have had it quite good so far, any advice !!

[coochybottom]

I had those cots that turn into beds and I think mine were about 2yr6mth when I changed over as they kept climbing out. Otherwise I would have left it as long as I could. The transition to beds also marked the end of their daytime nap as they would just trash everything rather than have a sleep. I think it might depend but I have 2boys and I get the impression from others they seem to be the worst for messing about.[no surprises there eh?]

[MinaLoy]

Watching this with interest. My twins (20 mnths) are still in cots but older twin can get her leg up really high, her foot poking over the side...has anyone had a toddler actually go "over the top"? It seems to me they could really injure themselves - or not? I'm dreading beds, for the no-more-afternoon-nap reason..

[HarrogateMum]

I had to put mine in beds at 2 years old as my DD was due and I didnt wnat to have to buy a 3rd cot!! It was a nightmare and I would have preferred to wait about another 3 months in all honesty as they spent so much blooming time coming downstairs - fixed this by putting a stair gate on their door - they would often fall asleep at the door (mean parents that we are).

[coochybottom]

We did the gate thing too! Its all about survival when you have twins!

[OptimistS]

Yep - had mine fall asleep by the door, too!

Cannot claim to have all the answers at the moment as having a few sleep issues in my house. Since they were 3 months old, my two have always had the same routine at night-time: milk, bath, story, bed. They were in with me for their 12 months (first in a cot together, then in separate cots), then from 12-16 months in their own rooms, in cots. I had to separate them because DD is a very light sleeper and was being constantly woken by her brother's constant moving and snuffling in his sleep. Worked a treat. They would be tired and relaxed when they went to bed so never had to stay with them until they went to sleep. Then, about 2 months ago, we had a succession of various illnesses which has completely buggered up the routine and now I have to stay with them to get them to go to sleep (can't do with listening to screaming). I think I've made it worse tbh as when I go to bed I open the gates to their rooms so that they can get in bed with me as this saves me being woken in the night to go to them when they start crying. They just come into my room and climb in. They never start playing or anything (although the upstairs of my house has now been child-proofed, just in case). Thing is, in researching techniques to prevent them co-sleeping with me, I found that co-sleeping can offer major social and emotional advantages, provided that parents are happy with it (I'm a lone parent, so no partner to consider in this), and I am. However, I need to 'retrain' them to get used to going off to sleep by themselves, rather than with me, first thing at night. They were doing this, so hopefully I'll recover it eventually. As a quick aside, went up to bed the other night and found them both asleep in my bed, holding hands. Aaahhhh... (moments like that make you remember that having twins is actually great, don't they).

Anyway, now I've totally hijacked the post (oops - sorry), the point I was going to make before going off on one was that as long as the room is childproofed, you don't need to worry about them settling. Then it's just a question of whether they'll cry for you and how you decide to handle that.

[coochybottom]

Mine were too busy messing about together to be upset about where I was! Dont know which is worse. Not good when you are trying to relax in the evening and you can hear them giggling and banging around upstairs!

[Leoloopydoo]

Minaloy - when are yours born? Mine are also 20 months (20th Feb). yes mine go over the top. And can get back in again as well.

This has been a dark cloud looming for us for a long time.

We have a stairgate but I can quite see that we will have to empty the room completely of everything very soon.
HM, i think its quite sweet that yours fell asleep at the door. Did they do lots of crying before? Did you close the door and keep them in teh dark? My brother thinks that is what we should do but I'm not sure I feel that comfortable with them climbing out of cots in the pitch dark.

Optimist - I've got nothing against co-sleeping but there are 5 of us and ds1 is often in bed with us already, we need a super-sized family bed!

[OptimistS]

Got the perfect solution for all of us: Just chuck out all the furniture upstairs, get a giant inflatable mattress that fills the room from wall to wall and then put 6-ft stairgate on the door.

[ChopsTheDuck]

If you are having problems at the moment in settling them, now is NOT the time!

Mine moved last month, aged 3 and half. Main reason we hadn't moved them is lack of space. They now share a double bed.

It took a good 5 days of runnign up and down the stairs all evenign to get them going to sleep. Eventually resorted to bribery, which might not work with 2.5 year olds!

Mine started climbing out very very young. Way younger than 2. I had to move everything out of their room and put a new door on the build in cupboard with a lock on it.

I had a stairgate on the door, they pole vaulted that. I got a dog gate - a good foot higher, they climbed that. I ended up with two gates, the top one upside down so the floor bar was above head height and the whole door was barricaded.

They do wind each other up, and egg each other on to achieve far more than singletons. Sleepbags were useless, I had nappy pins through zip up sleepsuits to stopt hem taking THOSE off.

Thank god they aren't little toddlers any mroe!

Put it off!!

[Leoloopydoo]

I think it needs to be an electric stairgate because 6ft or not I think mine would find a way to climb it !

[Leoloopydoo]

Crossed posts chops! the 2 stairgates seems like a good idea!

[ChopsTheDuck]

did you see the supernanny recently where the mother bolted her twins in the room at bedtime?

Supoernanny was NOT impressed, but I couldn't help sympathising with the parents. Look after twins all day and it's easy to see why they resorted to the bolt!

[coochybottom]

I once watched supernanny where the poor woman had 2 sets of twins who were driving her up the wall. All supernanny did was sit on her bum and shout orders at the Mum who was running around like a headless chicken! I too could sympathise with the lock on the door.
ps:chops How old are your DTs now?Mine will be 6 next week and still cause me real mental strain with their behaviour at times.If only they would calm down.It gets to the point like today where I woke up with a headache and was crying in the shower not wanting to face another day. Daddy had "a word" and they have been lovely-..for now!

[coochybottom]

Oh, just read they are 3ys 6mths, sorry. Memory like a sieve.

[kristatwin]

just been reading all the threads, those who's twins are now in beds, would you say seperate rooms would be better than them sharing !!

[coochybottom]

I decided to move my boys into their own room after about 6 months of them messing about in beds. I woke up one morning and thought that is it! My dh had the day off as it meant moving the contents of the study elsewhere but was definately worth it. Also as they get older I think they will appreciate it.

[kristatwin]

Coocybottom, i think i will start them in seprate rooms straight away, think DH will be horrifed to know the office is a bedroom, but tough, after a 12 hour day i need a break !!

[duckyfuzz]

we moved ours into beds at 22 months - not because they were climbing out though, they just seemed ready. I think we must have got the timing about right, as the escaping thing has never really been a problem maybe movign them before they try to escape is a good idea. I now sit on the floor between the beds and read to them then stoke them for a few mins

[duckyfuzz]

no I don't, I stroke them, stoking would be madness

[duckyfuzz]

oh and we tried them in separate rooms a year or so ago (they're 4.10 now) and foudn it more disruptive - they share a bedroom and a playroom, less tidying up to do at night and easier to deal with bedtime routine