Taking one twin to an activity/class and not the other...

[hattyyellow]

This is new for me! My twins have always gone to nursery and pre-school at the same time although we've tried to give them individual time as much as possible when we're both at home.

My girls have just turned 3. There is a ballet class starting on Saturdays close to us. The thought of taking both of them doesn't appeal - they are going through a phase of fighting loads, they are potty trained but still need prompting to ask to go to the loo and when they are together if one of them gets clingy the other one does.

One of my girls loves dancing, is much more confident and I think would flourish much better at the class on her own. I'm 25 weeks pregnant and I think I'd find it easier to take one and just relax and keep an eye on her from the kitchen (where the mums generally wait and drink tea apparently as the class is only half an hour).

But I feel bad about my other DD. She is a lot more shy, gives up a lot more easily and I feel like I'm not giving her the chance to do this, like I'm not being fair.

Which is stupid in a way because its a ballet class for three year olds, it's not like I'm only agreeing to fund one through university and not the other!

I think I need someone to tell me its okay and that it won't be really unfair of me to not give her the chance. I could take just the more shy DD, but that would seem really unfair on the more confident one who loves to dance...

Please help me stop rambling and decide!

[CarGirl]

find a different class for the other dd to do?

[dilbertina]

I think it would be fine if you agree something you'll do with just the other one that she'll enjoy more. To just leave her out with no alternative would be mean. Not because of the ballet class but because of the individual attention from you.

[hattyyellow]

Cheers all.

We live quite rurally and there is only the weekend where DH and I are both at home so that one of us can take one and one the other - that's the only class of this type locally..

If I left one DD behind, she would get uninterrupted time with DH to either play at home or go for a coffee/some other activity etc..I definitely would try to sell it to her as a special time, I'd hate for her to feel left out...

Trouble is they have to buy all the kit and I think she'd probably see it all and be heartbroken...I just want them to have the chance to do things individually as they often hold eachother back at the moment..more confident DD sees less confident DD wobbling and suddenly loses her nerve..when I have her by herself she's a different person.

I love them both equally and less confident DD has a 101 wonderful qualities of her own the other doesn't. Oh it's difficult!

[groovychick2]

I think they will thrive on it. My twin boys aged 5 are so much better on their own and dont feel the need to compete with the other. Although they are in one class at school I suggested they be in different groups for maths etc and I think thats why they behave so much better there than at home!! Dont be afraid to try it- Good Luck!

[accordiongirl]

Could the shy one have some other nice kit or some other new clothes? Or something treat-like but practical like shiny new wellies for the winter or a new umbrella? Mine aren't quite as old as yours but I think time separately can be really important. Good luck!