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nursery school

(16 Posts)
maggiems Fri 29-Oct-04 14:00:37

Hi, I am new to this board.My twin boys aged 3 started nursery school at the end of September and have settled in well. I had a brief interview last week with the teacher which was intended to give me an update as to how the boys were settling in. She said that they were doing great and that they were keen to try everthing but then she alarmed me by saying that for their age they were a little below average, mainly in the area of paying attention to a task and in their ability to understand things like turn taking etc. The whole thing made me very upset and I am probably overreacting but whilst I dont think they are incredibly bright I had always thought that in some areas they were quite advanced for their age. They have known their colours and shapes for a year, know every make of car on the road including different models and can recognise numbers. One of them in particular is a very perceptive child and everyone says that. They are good at communicating and their speech is progressing nicely. Going by whats said in child development books they seem to have met their milestones at the proper age. most on or ahead of schedule , an odd one behind.

They have no older brothers and sisters and have not mixed with any other children up to this stage, something i regret now but i felt that they had each other and they were still young. They are unused to having so many different toys to play with and I feel they are probably trying out everything at this stage, they will stay with some tasks for quite a while at home now. They certainly understand the concept of turn taking and will do it a home but I would have thought it would have been common for children who were unused to sharing with other children to be like this.Does anyone have experience of being told this and is it common among twin boys. I know that twins can develop at a slower rate than singletons sometimes but i would be interested to hear what you think.maggie

TwoIfBySea Sun 06-Feb-05 19:40:23

I've just read this having 3-year-old ds twins who just started nursery a couple of weeks ago. I know mine were delayed in certain aspects of their speech but a lot of what you say (about having not mixed much with other children etc.) is my situation too.

So far the nursery have said that they are doing well but nothing indepth about their progress. We are still potty training and although I put them in pull-ups they are good at asking to go to the toilet. I wish I had seen this thread, don't know how I missed it as I feel in the same way you are.

How are your boys doing now,maggie?

toomanypushchairs Sun 06-Feb-05 20:12:15

They dont sound below average to me! My twin boys are just over 2. They sleep and speak well, but other than that are hard going. Their attention span is very short indeed. We are just about managing to get one of them to sit down and read books or watch tv for 5mins, the other can't sit still that long. They are very physical and on the go all the time. They are lovely boys but not great at socialising, they do have siblings of 7&10yrs but they just boss them about. Am dreading them going to nursery, I'm sure they'll scream everyday they are never left with anyone. What age did you start the potty training? we have bought potties and they know what they are for but I'm too scared to try!
Did get the impression from a book i read that non identical twin boys have the most problems... think it was called Twins and Multiple births

TwoIfBySea Mon 07-Feb-05 20:03:12

Toomany I just started potty training a couple of weeks ago. I tried when they were 2 1/2 but the fuss they made I thought I shouldn't force them.

Result being that when I introduced it to them again, knowing that the nursery would prefer them to be toilet-trained, they took to it with only a couple of accidents. They still prefer to sit on the potty than on the toilet but who cares as long as it goes in the right place!

toomanypushchairs Mon 07-Feb-05 21:40:10

Costing me a fortune in nappies, was hoping I wouldn't have to wait that long. However same story with my older boy now 7. Tried at 2 1/2 didn't work. A week before he was 3 tried again, he had it sorted in a couple of days.It did take him another 2yrs before he would stand at the toilet, but thats another story!

maggiems Thu 17-Feb-05 16:18:29

Hi, there were no responses for ages to my thread so I stopped lucky so sorry for not responding. My boys are doing well although I have not got any feedback on them since the last time. I think there is some more feedback due in the last term.They are now talking more about all the children in their class but I'm not sure if they are actually playing interactively with them or just in parralel. DS1 has become very into trying to get DS2 to join in little games etc and DS2 will join in but doesnt instigate things that much. One the other hand DS2's attention span has increased and he quite likes things like jigsaws and we are up to 15 pieces now which is a miracle considering that it was a bit of a chore up to recently to get him to sit for longer than 2 minutes. Their drawing skills have improved also. DS1's speech is brilliant now and DS2's has come on a lot. Our problem is that we live in Northern Ireland and if you are born before 1st July you have to start primary school that september. The boys have a June birthday hence the reason for them to be actually at nursery school since september.they will be the youngest in their class so thats another reason for me to worry.Twoifbysea , what age are your twins ?Toomany, I waited until the boys were nearly 3 before I started and they were dry within a week or so. I couldnt have believed that when they were 2 and a half or even 2 3/4. had a bit more of a problem with No 2's and DS2 in particular is prone to soiling/constipation which only started around the time of potty training and I think was behavioural. Both had to be trained for nursery school so i panicked a bit around last July but everything was fine. Any of you have a problem with learning not to compare your children? I find it really difficult not to do as DS1 nearly always does things first and better than DS2. I know its important not to compare and to praise etc etc which I do but DS1's speech is a good bit better than DS2's even though DS2 is within the normal range and speech is so much in your face that its hard not to compare. Just wondering if others find themselves in this situation. Maggie

MarsLady Thu 17-Feb-05 19:06:20

hi maggiems, not comparing them is difficult isn't it? It's not at all like with the singletons. DT1 does everything about 2 weeks after DT2, but she does them better. He walks around with a huge grin on his face and she looks as though we've done something wrong. I find I compare them when I talk about them and I never thought that I would, esp as they are girl/boy. Ah well, they are both absolutely gorgeous!!!!!!!!!

TwoIfBySea Thu 17-Feb-05 22:41:59

I force myself not to compare but it doesn't always work. In our case it is dst1 who tries things first but dst2 who later on does whatever better!

Maggie, dst were 3 at the end of December.

Am having a bit of a nightmare though at the moment, they were off nursery all last week because of a cold and dst2 had conjunctivitus (the whole nursery was down with it apparently.) Then they were back on Wednesday after the mid-term only to be off today because all of a sudden healthy dst1 now has conjunctivitus. Not only am I going slowly mad but I have no support and may soon find myself a single mum (if DH doesn't grow up and apologise!)

Some weeks I would like to erase!

maggiems Fri 18-Feb-05 13:40:26

I know what you mean about not having much support. I work fulltime but still feel I am expected to do everything when I get home . Suppose its my fault too as I dont push hard enough but the guilt factor sets in and I become a bit of a martyr. My 2 were off for a day this week too with colds. they never had a cold until they started nursery school in september and since then its never stopped. I hope yours recover soon. I have just been on the phone to my childminder who said that the teacher has just shown her a great photo of DS2 dressed up as a doctor. He had his white coat and was trying out a stetoscope on a little girl and was peering out over his glasses. So hopefully he is learning to play directly with other children. On the other hand he had a major poo accident yesterday which surprised me as he has had no accident for months. So all my going on yesterday was a bit of a lie Maggie

MarsLady Fri 18-Feb-05 13:47:20

That's the way it goes Maggie, as soon as we start saying how well things are going it all goes pear shaped. Sod's law.

My DTs spent last night throwing up. Seems to be a new habit, a quick puke before bed! Yeurck!!!!!! DS1 has just hopped on a bus and gone to see his mate. DH has just taken DDs1&2 out to lunch and to the park. The only reason he's being so helpful is because some of his "childless" mates have invited him to play football at 6.30pm this evening. So I'm using it to my advantage tee hee. Once DT1 wakes up I've to make myself scarce cos the cleaner's coming and she does so much better when we're out of the way. Good reason to go to coffee at a mates really.

maggiems Fri 18-Feb-05 13:55:49

Mars lady, What age are yours and are they boys or girls?

MarsLady Fri 18-Feb-05 13:58:37

girl/boy. They were 1 on the 11th. Like puppies at the moment

MarsLady Fri 18-Feb-05 14:05:42

off out now. Hope to catch up with you later.

maggiems Fri 18-Feb-05 14:37:09

They are lovely at that age. We were watching clips of video the other day and you forget what they were like so easily. You are lucky to have a cleaner. Everytime I suggest getting some in, my DH says he has a woman who does! Do you work ? I work fulltime and am in a friday sort of feeling which means I am inclined to surf a bit. Enjoy your coffee and natter. maggie

MarsLady Fri 18-Feb-05 18:23:46

DH didn't want me to get a cleaner. He said that we couldn't afford one. I simply told him that unless he could do what she could do I would need to have one. I have no other help and even now I find it impossible to get anything done. I need eyes everywhere now that they are walking. Once the cleaner's been I feel able to get a couple of jobs done. DH now thinks we can't afford to do without her and is trying to work out how we can afford her twice a week

MarsLady Fri 18-Feb-05 18:31:06

I've just re read what you posted. I don't work. I can't afford to with all the kids and to be honest I have no real desire to. I never imagined that I would end up as a SAHM with a large family. I've even found that I enjoy making traybakes for them. I cook from scratch mostly. Having a cleaner allows me to keep my head above water. I don't know what I did before her. She gets so much done in 2 hours. She's organised me far more than I could ever have organised myself. The DTs adore her.

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