Struggling in lockdown with twins

[helpamummaout]

Not sure of the point to this message but I suppose just talking to others who understand will help.
I work for the nhs in CT/MRI , 26 hours per week, the rest of the time in lockdown with the twins. Partner is working from home and also looking after our 2.5 year old twin girls the days I'm at work with us having no childcare.
I'd been doing ok coping until last week when it felt like a volcano of emotions erupting inside of me and I've felt so depressed since.
We are exhausted, up with the girls lots in the night and sometimes (like today) they get up at 4am. Obviously due to lockdown we are missing the little bit of family support that we did have.
I should be hearing about some counselling through work this week, but suppose I just needed to vent before then.
I've got constant anxiety and feel like I'm trapped. Always snapping at the girls , then feeling guilty for doing it. I'm just finding this age so so tough. (Sorry for anyone reading with younger twins, I used to hate reading things like this when mine were younger)

[Cabra82]

Oh poor you! I totally get it- my twins just turned two and it is still very intense and especially without childcare it is difficult to stay upbeat isnt it! I am just trying to focus on the essentials- meals and clean clothes. Going outside for lots of walks has helped - fresh air helps with depressed feelings, and means I dont feel so guilty over all the TV they watch! But then again, the TV programmes for kids are so educational nowadays I dont feel that bad- mine have been getting lots of new vocab from Blippi!
Try to carve out a half hour for you if you can, for your mental stability. Maybe listen to empowering music on your way to work or meditational music? And lots of feel good food- wine and chocolate and fresh fruit have been helping me too.
Re the sleeping- try to encourage self soothing if possible? Have you had a read of sleep training resources? Lack of sleep is just torture so if you can work on that, it might help a bit. I know some children are not sleeping as well due to stress from lockdown so it is understandable that they may be having issues of course. Wishing you luck and know that you are not alone!!

[TingTastic]

What childcare did you used to have and gave they reopened? Most nurseries are up and running again now so can’t you get them a place somewhere?

[helpamummaout]

Thanks @Cabra82 , I was thinking the other day I'm a member of TAMBA so need to have a look on there as I think they have some sleep advice. Yeah I think it's a bit of anxiety as there just used to being with us so much now. Feel a lot more relieved now things are easing off, we went for a picnic yesterday and had a really nice day.

@TingTastic they normally go to my in laws but they are shielding due to health problems.

[RhirhiT]

Mine boys are just turned 2 and are going through such a difficult stage! They fight, with twon1 being really quite nasty and aggressive to twin2, they are whinging NON STOP, they are suddenly picky over what they eat, they are so clingy to my husband (he I'd home with them mon to fri and works weekend, while I work mon to first and home on wkends) and will flip out when he leaves the room! I'm working from home right now and every day feels like groundhog day! I have zero energy for my husband and its causing problems and we also have very moody 17 old daughter who sleeps all day long....!!!! I could scream!! So I totally relate to finding this hard

[Happychappy33]

I echo the Groundhog Day...the only difference in my days is which twin kicked off first. They like to copy each other now at 25 months which is infuriating. They used to eat really well and now their favourite phrase is ‘don’t like it’ even if it’s something they loved before.

I second getting outside where you can, mine are much better after fresh air and a run around. And carving out time to yourself, I find a bath or watching escapism tv (so something completely different to normal life, so GoT or similar, nothing with family life portrayed helps)

And all the gin (but not too much as twins with a hangover is hell on earth)

Sending 🍷/🍰/💐