Have you decided to separate or stay together at school?

[HolyMolyMacaroni]

What did you decide? And what age did you make your decision?

[babysharkah]

Mine are in a single for entry school so decision was made for us. If I had the choice, I would have kept them together.

[ScrunchyBook]

We still have a while to go (b/g twins age 2yr 10 months) but we'd like them in separate classes if possible. Sounds minor but DS tends to do things for his sister to be helpful, but we don't want her to miss out on doing things/learning things herself because he's done it for her.

[BigGlasses]

I separated them and decided from quite an early age as we have quite a large family and I don’t treat the twins any differently than I treat any other of their siblings. I don’t really think there is a special relationship between the twins over that with their other siblings, in fact one of the twins has a close relationship with her big sister. Therefore thought it best to just let them have the space to do their own thing unhindered by a family member in their class cramping their style

[Runandbecome]

Identical triplets and separating them as the school has 3 form entry. They've been in the same room, albeit with different teachers, at their preschool and the other children still call them "the triplets" rather than their names (which bugs me) so I really want to ensure they're treated as individuals at school.

[LolaSmiles]

At secondary, I find that parents who insist on twins being together in classes usually have encouraged an unhealthy level of codependency and typically both twins end up appearing emotionally less mature than their peers. (Whereas twins who happen to share a registration group but have their space in lessons/are totally separate tend to blossom more as individuals)

In primary, I would imagine school size, number of classes etc would be a factor. I think the older they are, the more important some space is.

[TheCanyon]

Our twins are just going into primary 1 (scotland). Loads of twins in our wee town, so was aware they were split up.

At a review meeting last week between nursery and school the deputy head said they split them up as everyone always tends to lump them into one, so one that's struggling/excelling isn't necessarily picked up. Parents evening just becomes about bob rather than john etc.

Mine are lucky this year I guess, due to other previous class sizes and smaller intake this year ours are going into one massive class with two different teachers so close by still.

[Greatbigwhoooo]

My girls are going into year 3 in sept in separate classes for the first time through their own choice and I’m a bit surprised but very pleased. A year ago they would have been mortified at the prospect of this, but they’ve grown in confidence as individuals so much this year. They are both quite quiet so I feel like if they’d been forced apart before they were ready this would have been really counterproductive and upsetting for them. That’s just them though - all twins and twin relationships are different! The school is very supportive of it being the twins/parents decision whether to separate or not. I believe this campaigned on by TAMBA too. Schools should not be able to force a ‘policy’ on you.

[Parker231]

We separated them as soon as they started school. THey were in the same class at nursery. Wanted them to be viewed as individuals rather than ‘the twins ‘. There weren’t any problems. THey had seperate friends, went to birthday parties on their own and did different after school interests. They played well together and separately at breakfast and after school clubs.

[mummycubs]

I have DD1, three, and then my twin daughters, three in January, and now my triplets, three months. My twin daughters are non identical, they actually don't even look remotely alike. DD3 looks more like DD1 than she looks like her twin, so people often say they're the twins when I say I have a singleton, twins and triplets. I think my twins are so different in so many ways so they don't really get lumped together as the twins. I know they're together in nursery but they both have their own little group they play with and they rarely bother with each other during school according to their teachers. I'm going to discuss with the mums from their friendship groups and the school and see what they think is best, but I don't think they would have an issue regardless of what I end up doing with them.

My triplets, I don't know. I have three non identical, two boys and a girl, but they will all be lumped together as the triplets because they're not as common as twins and they already depend on each other for little things at this age, so what will they be like when they're at school age? I think I'll keep them together for nursery and then see what their teachers say about their friendship groups and go from there. If they stay together, I might have to keep them together so they have at least a friend in the same class as them, but if they branch out, I don't see any reason why not to separate them or at least have them all separated around one classroom.

[neversleepagain]

I kept mine separated for reception and year one then together for year two. My reasoning may seem odd but each year twin 1got the "better" deal, she got the more approachable of the teachers, the more welcoming and friendly ones whereas twin 2 had job share teachers two years in a row and last year, her year one teacher was a real stinker. Both thrived and did well but twin one loves school and twin two not so much. I decided that I'd rather they are taught by the same teacher so the education and experience they receive is the same. Seems bonkers but it was my reasoning, I have decided what to do for year three.

I am a teacher myself.