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Having a difficult time

(7 Posts)
schoome Mon 04-Mar-19 19:17:27

My twins are difficult at the moment. They're 13 months and are into everything. Our house is unsuitable and we don't have any room. We're moving soon but the wait is killing me.
I also feel like life is passing me by and I'm losing a lot of so called friends. I don't think they realise how little time I have now. I know everyone is busy but I literally can't do more than I am right now.
The relationship with my mother has also changed. I thought she'd be more helpful than she has been and it's made me resent her a bit. We were closer before.

Does it get any easier? I have paid childcare once a week but I work that day. I feel like I'm spread too thinly.

schoome Mon 04-Mar-19 19:18:19

Sorry not paid childcare. Free childcare. I dont pay.

Sharpcattlegridheavyhat Tue 05-Mar-19 11:02:50

It’s so hard. I don’t know if it makes you feel even worse (sorry!) but I found it felt better, -like I was emerging from a cave- when they turned 2. They were communicating and walking and seemed happier so I was happier. We have a son 2 years older so there was a lot of guilt leaving all three with grandparents etc. I think maybe your mum is scared- twins are hard to look after! Some people struggle with babies and flourish with little children, maybe your mum is one of those people and will come in to her own more later? I am finding that with mine. I’m so sorry- it’s so hard. I look back on the first two years barely knowing how it happened. They’re 2.5 now and it’s a massive, massive difference.

Stinkytoe Tue 05-Mar-19 11:06:03

I think everyone is a little scared of my twins right now, they’re 18 months and little whirlwinds of trouble.

All the help I had with my son didn’t really materialise with these two and all the baby groups that I treasured for my adult contact last time seem a lot less accessible with 2!

That being said, I think it’s slowly getting easier. They can now feed themselves, they’ll play happily without me for a bit (when they’re not fighting) and sleeping is going well.

Being a parent of multiples is hard, I’m sure you’re doing fab!

Weescottie Tue 05-Mar-19 22:29:13

I am also finding it hard just now. My 18m twin boys are such hard work and I feel I don’t have enough time to properly attend to my 5yo. The twins still don’t sleep through the night and I work 4 days as well so I am just so weary. My husband helps a lot but is also very weary and in need of a break. We last had a date 4 months ago and sometimes seem like we coexist. We don’t have family nearby or any close friends so just muddle through ourselves. I know I should ask more for help but it is so hard when no one ever asks and it seems like an inconvenience to them when you do.
My relationship with my parents is quite hard just now as well, when we used to have a good relationship - they have some health issues which has aged them over the last couple of years and they have become very set in their ways and my mum is very emotionally needy. I feel guilty I can’t visit them more often or help out more but they live a 5h drive away. My mum doesn’t understand that I often just do not have the energy to call her or get in touch every night to have a chat about nothing. They do love the boys though and I want them to have a good relationship but when they do come and visit everything seems harder instead of easier as I end up looking after them as well. What I wouldn’t give for a magic wand to conjur up some help!

schoome Wed 06-Mar-19 07:58:03

Wow what do you do for childcare for those 4 days? I am thinking of working 3 days. I'm sorry you're having a difficult time. It's hard isn't it and not a lot of people understand or want to understand.

Weescottie Wed 06-Mar-19 13:12:50

My oldest is at school and the babies go to private nursery. I need to work for my sanity and to keep my professional accreditation but it is so expensive! I am lucky to have a job that does just cover the fees but I am counting down until they are 3 and get the free nursery spots!

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