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Separate activities for 3yo DTs?

(6 Posts)
RubySlippers77 Sun 03-Feb-19 13:44:22

My twin boys are now 3 and a real handful together! Separately they are much easier (maybe that's just relative, but it does feel like it!) but I don't have many opportunities to do things separately with them, wondered if anyone had any tips?

They are at preschool 4 days a week at the moment, I'm thinking of taking them out for a morning each, partly to spend time with them and partly so they can make their own friends more easily. Preschool are fine with this and think it's a good idea. In September they could either stay where they are or go to a school nursery, but then they would be in the same class and presumably not have the opportunity to stay off for a morning every week, so if I'm going to do it it needs to be soon.

In the afternoons I'm hoping that my ILs will take each of them one afternoon per week; currently they have them both for a few hours but I think it's getting too much for them, plus MIL is having hospital treatment soon that will put her out of all childcare action for about six weeks. After that though perhaps I'll go for separate visits rather than leaving them both there.

I've chatted with TAMBA about it and in general think it's a good idea to have more one on one time with them - not sure where I'm going to fit in all the housework etc that I usually spend my child-free hours doing though! Just wondered if anyone did the same and if they felt it was helpful? They are appallingly quarrelsome and squabbly at the moment and really this looks like the only solution, there are some downsides but hopefully their behaviour will improve.....!

ScrunchyBook Mon 04-Feb-19 21:11:03

Hi Ruby definitely give it a go it sounds like a good plan. On the rare occasions it happens I really enjoy just having just one twin at a time (and it's so much easier!).

I try to think about how it would be if they were siblings of different ages.
They would likely get more time away from each other, one at school, one at nursery. They'd have their own interests, more alone time with parents even if it's just taking them to birthday parties, separate clubs etc, but as my two are the same age and not at the age where they can express different interests (activities like swimming, football, music etc) we just get them doing the same stuff.
But they probably get fed up with spending so much time together too, and would appreciate a break!

Happyandshiney Mon 04-Feb-19 21:16:20

My DTs are now 11yos.

When they were this age we started doing separate extracurricular activities. One parent took one child to the activity and the other parent got some one to one time and we swapped about.

We also did things like one child went shopping with Daddy while the other helped Mummy with the gardening etc.

They were in the same nursery class but have always been in separate classes at school.

They get on brilliantly but still do different activities and we still try to make sure they both get 1:1 with us both regularly.

RubySlippers77 Tue 05-Feb-19 10:47:40

Thanks both! Happy, I definitely think separate classes are the way forward for mine, if we can get into the one local school which has two per year. As it happens DTS2 is at home this morning as he was ill last night, DTS1 is probably having a great time at preschool without him grin

Good point Scrunchy about considering them as siblings of different ages. It's so hard (and people without twins don't get it!) to think of things for them to do separately at this age, and for me it will depend on whether the ILs are around during the week to have them each for one afternoon. I'm hoping they will be up for that as it's very much easier than having them together.....!

Hmmm, now trying to think of something to keep DTS1 busy this afternoon whilst DTS2 can doze. And tomorrow they are both with me all day. Please send me good luck (and gin)!

spinabifidamom Fri 08-Feb-19 18:29:47

Try it.
We love TAMBA. They have been a invaluable source of information and support since I had the twins. I think it’s time to facilitate independence and different interests too. Ultimately I hope to strengthen their bond with each other by doing this. So while DS has a horseback riding lesson I plan on taking DD for a mom and child bonding experience somewhere. Later we will try more activity classes etc. Perhaps a hot chocolate to start with and a conversation with each other.
When DS went to the hospital with my husband to pick up his new shoes I decided to take DD and one of her sisters for a family swim. We all had a lovely time in the pool.
Our whole family has benefited from TAMBA. Sorry for rambling on here.

RubySlippers77 Fri 08-Feb-19 23:47:11

TAMBA have been great for us too smile I find it hard to go to playgroups as DTS1 gets massively overexcited, charges round and is generally a PITA, but the structured ones - music/ gym/ whatever - are much better for him.

We're trying a gym class next week and hoping to start swimming soon too. Even if both DC like these and want to continue, they won't be working together, and it'll be something that DP and I could take them to do at weekends as well.

I hardly ever get chance to simply sit down and have a conversation with them separately, one on one. It's one of the things I hope this would give me chance to experience.

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