Oh my god its identical twins!!!!

[Excusemyfrench]

Please help, I am in utter shock.

This is my 3rd baby and at my 8 week reassurance scan today, found its identical twins. I am freaking out.
I will have 4 children!!!

My last pregnancy was also identical twins (what are the chances?!) although one of them vanished around 6 weeks.

I feel so bad to be so upset as I so wanted this baby, but I am so overwhelmed. On google identical twins seem so risky with so many complications...

Please reassure me...

[babysharkah]

Congratulations!

I remember feeling exactly like you do now (although I only have the twins!).

Did they tell you what sort of ID twins they are, were they able to see a membrane?

[Printerneedsink]

Congratulations! TAMBA is a good source of twin info.

[SheRaTheAllPowerful]

Congratulations:) I have identical twins, welcome to the club, try not to worry, you’ll be monitored much more closely, I had scans every 2 weeks. You are much more likely to have an early Labour with id twins, mine came at 34 weeks but we were home quickly and they are healthy and at school now :)

[Excusemyfrench]

She thought she saw a membrane at one point but then could never see it again so unsure there is one.

I am so shocked.
When did you find out about your twins?

At least with them being born a bit earlier I wont have to put up with the dreaded last 2 weeks.

4 children... omg. How will I look after 4 children!? And its going to be so expensive😩

[babysharkah]

I found out at an early reassurance scan at 8 weeks. She couldn't see the membrane but said it was normal at that stage to not be able to see it or at least really difficult to.

[SheRaTheAllPowerful]

I found out at 10 weeks, I was so sick and signed off work that I paid privately for a scan.
Yes it’s expensive!

[bobbycock79]

I have ID boys , now 12 weeks. Like you I found out at 8 weeks and was in complete shock, we had only ever envisaged having two children (we have a 5 yr old DD too). I also did not feel joyful just scared and overwhelmed. I had a very straightforward pregnancy with no health concerns, very closely monitored. I delivered at 36 weeks by elective section as per hospital policy. Boys were fine and we were home after 3 nights. It's hard work of course but they are gorgeous and actually very laid back . My DD adores them and we are gradually finding our rhythm. I think what helped me was just an attitude that I was on the twin train now and had to get on with it. It is very special to carry ID's and there are some wonderful moments. You will be fine :) This is a lovely read if you haven't already herviewfromhome.com/mama-you-were-meant-for-twins/?fbclid=IwAR30J2a3W-AYezh9nrQnNIYYmUzYrURNPid4HgVvG7vKgCX4SCdd3FYk9n8

[neversleepagain]

It is such a shock isn't it!

The last two weeks of a singleton pregnancy is around week 28/30 weeks with a twin pregnancy so you will have that dreaded feeling for much loooonger.

Congratulations!

[Excusemyfrench]

Thank you @bobbycock79 thats really helped. I will read up now ..

[Excusemyfrench]

Thank you all for your other comments.
Still freaking out but its nice to hear other people have survived😔

[Singlenotsingle]

I hope your username isn't based on your experiences neversleepagain!

[Sharpcattlegridheavyhat]

I have ID twin girls, and our son was not quite 2 when they were born. They were born at 36 weeks, elective c section. I actually loved the close monitoring - as a natural worrier it was good to have people reassuring me every step of the way and knowing they’d see something early if anything came up. We even had to cancel our holiday, our midwife was very strict!

[Excusemyfrench]

@Sharpcattlegridheavyhat hi ! Im a worrier too and like the idea of being closely monitored so thank you for saying that. but I am still absolutely terrified.
Last night I dreamt I lost them and felt so relieved when I woke up. But then I realised it was just a dream. Im a horrible person arent I😔
Im so scared. All my pregnancies were SO difficult for me, it took me years to build up the courage to try for our 'last one'. Im quite small and put on 3 stone + when Im pregnant and turn into a whale, I cant control it. Everything in my body swells up and I feel so unwell for months. What the hell am I going to turn into now? Im going to be on bed rest for months!

Im sorry, today is a huge wobble day, I am just utterly and completely freaking out.

[Excusemyfrench]

@Sharpcattlegridheavyhat Im glad your daughter were well and delivered safely by the way. Sorry my previous post was a blubbering mess.
I bet you have 2 beautiful little girls.

My husband and I are due to fly to America in May - Im due mid August. I wont be able to go right?

Thanks for your messages xx

[RandomMess]

It's natural to be worried I was very relieved when pregnancy no 4 was announced a singleton!

We have friends that no 3 pregnancy was ID triplets... she was very happy when she waved them off to school!!!

I hope all goes well and friends and family rally around to help you through the pregnancy as well as afterwards.

[bobbycock79]

I felt very ashamed of some of the thoughts I had during my pregnancy don't be too hard on yourself. You have had a massive shock and I don't think anybody who hasn't had multiples can understand. What helped me was finding another mum with older ID boys who understood exactly where I was coming from and she was so kind and talked through my worries and fears and never judged. Basically I approached her in the school playground and blurted out I was having twins and how worried I was and she took me under her wing. I think other twin mums can be a great support.

[Excusemyfrench]

Thank you @bobbycock79
Its such a shock.
And today I found out that 2 yoke sacs doesn't automatically mean 2 placentas which scares me even more...

I have done exactly like you, found a twin mama and fell apart in front of her. She has been super kind and supportive. And also very honest.
I dont love what Im hearing and cant help but constantly think if there was only 1 this would be perfect for our family. My husband works all the time, so I could manage. Without him and twins + my other 2- how will I cope? Wr have no family near by. No need to change houses or car. Normal pregnancy. Of course you cant guarantee all those things but its more of an option.

I went to the dr today and got anti sickness as I am nauseous day and night. Never actually sick but physically gagging, every time something smells different i.e all the time. Its loud and gross and I cant control it. Hopefully Ill feel better if I stop feeling sick for 1 minute.

I keep hoping that when we go for our next scan there will only be one there😔

[RandomMess]

It's ok the you feel like

[willisurvive3under2]

It's ok to feel like this. We briefly considered selective reduction. Our DS was 1 when we got pregnant with twins - how would we cope? We cried and cried. I got angry as it just wasn't fair. In the first few weeks I once wobbled and said to DH 'I don't want two newborns. Nobody wants two newborns!' They're amazing now. Still hard work but so amazing. And DS loves them. We had to get a bigger car and move house. Logistics are tricky. But I can't imagine being without one. You'll find a way. How old are your other DCs?

[Excusemyfrench]

Hi @willisurvive3under2 thank you for your kind message and honesty.
My older two are 8 and 5. We are very very close and I worry how this will affect them.
I dont think reductive selection is an option for us as they are identical... its all or nothing.

We have just bought a huge new discovery sport and we would have to change that as it doesnt fit 4 kids. What decent car that isnt a mini van fits 4 kids?! Not that the car is my real concern... its just another thing. I cant see any positive at the moment its awful, I feel so guilty.

Im glad to hear you are happy and settled now. Thanks for sharing that, it helps. Maybe you could change your username to Isurvived3under2 xx

[dullclothesbrightmind]

When my son was a newborn I met a heavily pregnant women who looked at DS and said, ' I love babies but I can't look at them just now' She pointed at her bump and said, 'this was meant to be number 4, but its triplets.' SHe looked really stressed and shell shocked despite clearly being due very soon.

About a year later I told that story to someone else and they said, 'I met that woman! She was in the library feeding her triplet babies. She looked really calm and like she was just getting on with it.'

So anyway, all relative innit? What you have is a doddle compared to that! : )

[Excusemyfrench]

@dullclothes thats funny. It does put things into perspective X

[willisurvive3under2]

@Excusemyfrench I probably should. But I've only just got past that so I might wait a little in case I jinx it.

[GinAndTings]

Congratulations!

I remember when I was told it was ID twins. I just cried! I thought how on earth am I going to cope?!

But you do cope, my two were in sync with feeds, sleep and poops :) it became MY normal and once we all got into a routine it was a lot easier.

I bathed two on my own, I had to make sure I was properly organised but that will also come, they lived in baby grows and as long as our basic needs were being met and the house was relatively clean and tidy then I let my housework expectations slip.

My husband helped as much as he could albeit working full time and having a commute.

My pregnancy went well considering, baby b was small but she still is to this day slightly dinkier bless her.

I had a planned section at 36+2 and they never needed any special care.

I felt awful during the pregnancy, got big quickly from 24 weeks and couldn't drive. I had really bad SPD so was on crutches at 28 weeks and then into a wheelchair as I couldn't walk. I was bed bound the last few weeks.

See how you go day by day, I had fortnightly scans.

If I could go back I would definitely call in the troops a lot earlier than I did for help. I would ask for help instead of muddling through, I should've batch cooked too, Just Eat was our saviour many times lol

Good luck, and keep posting - oh yes I signed up to TAMBA as you'll have twin discounts which do help, from white goods, insurances, cinema tickets, days out, holidays, car hire, butlins etc etc it all adds up and helps! (and mothercare!)

Although its hard - Im so happy to be a twin mum. There is absolutely nothing like it and I would be thrilled to be a twin mum all over again!

ps - there are some really good facebook groups for multiple mums in the uk xx

[Excusemyfrench]

Thank you for your post @GinAndTings I appreciate the insight.
Sounds like you are really enjoying it now and I am very pleased for you.

Days are going by and I dont feel any better.
If this had been my first - fine. When this happened the second time- fine I went along with it. But this is our 3rd. It isnt just me and twins. And it took me soooo long to get ready to try for a 3rd and wrap my head around having just one more. I really do not want 2. Its 4 children, its a game changer. I dont feel as though I can carry them, care for them, days go by and people keep telling me 'oh its only one more' and I want to scream. Its already hard enough getting 2 in bed, or on the school run, and managing it everyday, an extra 2 would be a nightmare. Would I eventually cope? Sure probably, you get on with things. But do I HAVE to accept the next few years are going to be a huge struggle?? That I wont have time for my 2 eldest. Or my husband. Or my self. That we will just be surviving for the first few years. Do I really have to?
My husband keeps sayin 'its fiiiiine' but has NO idea whats ahead of us. Doesnt even research what this means.

Im sorry if this sounds awful. I am really trying to wrap my head around it but Im struggling. Feeling so sick all the time isnt helping either.
I have another scan on Friday and hoping, with all my heart, that just like my 2nd pregnancy, one will have just... vanished 😔