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2 year old twins becoming difficult!

(114 Posts)
redrhubarb Thu 18-Oct-18 21:20:04

Up until now life with my dtwins had been surprisingly enjoyable. They cooperated with me (most of the time)and were generally well behaved. Now they are 2 1/2 and extremely challenging!

They moan about anything and everything. Today we've had tantrums over:
Getting out of bed
Not having milk on cereal
Having milk on cereal
Having a spotty nappy on instead of striped
Not being able to wear shorts
Having to wear a hat
Having to get In the pushchair
Having to stay in the pushchair
Not wanting to walk
Not getting biscuits from the shop
Having orange juice when wanting black currant
Having to eat dinner
Getting out the bath
Putting wrong pjs on
The list goes on but writing it's just annoying me even more!

Having this all day from both babies is so mentally exhausting.

I was hoping things would be getting easier now but it's so much harder.

Can any twin mums please reassure me this is a short phase that will pass !

serenmoon Wed 24-Oct-18 10:18:12

Jumping into sympathize. Twins are fantastic but also such hard work and I find parents with one aren’t at all understanding. I feel so limited in what I can do with them and feel so guilty that I’m not giving them the same opportunities single children get.

Sharpcattlegridheavyhat Wed 24-Oct-18 11:33:04

How old are they again? I’ve been cutting out pumpkin shapes from orange paper and handing them pens to do the faces, we’ve covered the house with them! Good luck. Some days are just a write off!

Sharpcattlegridheavyhat Wed 24-Oct-18 11:34:12

Yeah I feel like that seren- I know for a fact they’d absolutely love swimming for example but that’s not an option!

serenmoon Wed 24-Oct-18 11:37:15

Oh yes swimming is something we can’t do and we have such a lovely local pool with fantastic toddler splash area. Even the park can be tricky when they want to go in different directions and it’s not fenced. Playgroup can be tough too as I end up running after them both, totally exhausting while parents of one can sit and drink coffee. Ah well, so many people tell me it gets easier grin

RubySlippers77 Wed 24-Oct-18 12:56:33

Thanks all - not that I want other people to have a tough time too, but it helps to know I'm not on my own!!

Like the OP, it's just so wearing listening to two lots of moaning all day.....

We've done the playground for a bit, I gave in to the golden arches for lunch, they are now watching CBeebies whilst I try to stop feeling quite so tired and achey. DTS1 has done a big poo but is hiding behind a chair rather than letting me change his nappy..... marvellous.

I would love to do splash pools, more playgroups etc but like PP I simply can't with two to watch/ look after. People with one DC or one toddler + baby don't really get it.

My friend's DH is a twin and his mum vividly remembers being pushed right to the edge of her sanity having two to look after. She has told my friend many times about how tough it was! My friend's DH is in his 50s confused

Looooong walk plus more playground planned for this afternoon to get the little horrors to sleep. Then hopefully it is the Apprentice and wine for me to cheer up my day!

RubySlippers77 Wed 24-Oct-18 12:57:38

Mine are just turned 3 Sharp. Craft time is later once they are fed up with TV - thank you for the pumpkin idea!

Sharpcattlegridheavyhat Wed 24-Oct-18 13:49:21

Ah yes, wine. Relying too much on a glass at the end of the day as my ‘reward’ - it took a lot not to have any last night! I dread playgroups too- I don’t go to any but am working myself up to one a friend goes to. I just think there won’t be any sitting down involved...

coffeeneeded Wed 24-Oct-18 13:58:22

You need to find playgroups that are either smaller rooms or multiple specific. Try looking at tamba to see where your local club is.

It's totally worth it! There is a special bond between parents of multiples and it's great to chat! I run a local twins playgroup and I barely see my own children during the session but I know they're safe.

I'm trying to teach mine about dice led games at the moment...... a bit of p&q!

redrhubarb Wed 24-Oct-18 14:03:22

We've had a lot of tears today from both me and dtwins  it started by them waking me up at 5:15 and whinging until I got up at 5:30. I'm so tired all the time and I feel like whenever I meet new people I come across as really downbeat and uninteresting.

We tried to go to the local soft play but dt1 would not sit in the pram and after 30 minutes of begging him I gave up and put the tv on ! I will try again tomorrow and if the same thing happens I might just take dt2 and leave dt1 with daddy.

Theweasleytwins Wed 24-Oct-18 14:12:27

My DT are 2 1/2ish. They are both difficult

My girl is fine most of the time but gets stroppy when not getting her own way- e.g. Having my food which is exactly the same as hers😓

Think my boy might have LD (i do and so does dh so definitely possible) he got really upset yesterday because I put a little bit of cheese on his beans so he refused to eat them
He gets upset at rather strange things

missyB1 Wed 24-Oct-18 14:12:35

Sorry Red that sounds shit sad I would definitely take the other twin and leave him behind next time - he needs to see the consequence of his behaviour. Although tbh I would have forcibly put him in the pram.

Hope your day improves!

RubySlippers77 Wed 24-Oct-18 14:35:13

Handhold (and wine!) for you red. Honestly I would definitely leave one DT behind with your DH if you can; having only one DC to look after feels like a holiday after spending most of your time with twins!!

DTS2 has given in to his tiredness and is napping. DTS1 is being a whinging, attention seeking horror. Usually I would try to give him some one on one time but feel so rubbish and tired (his fault!!) that I just can't, more CBeebies for him.

I do wonder too if he has some form of LD as he simply cannot switch off and relax/ sleep without being completely physically exhausted. And he is only ever a minute away from an enormous strop. These things would probably be manageable if I didn't have another toddler to look after at the same time!

Sharpcattlegridheavyhat Wed 24-Oct-18 16:45:07

Do you ever get any opportunity for a break, red? Any grandparents who could give you a night off, even if it’s just a house swap for the night so you can have a lie in?

redrhubarb Wed 24-Oct-18 17:05:09

sharp I don't have anyone else to help. I don't get a break at all but to be honest I would only worry if I was away from my dc. I agree looking after one twin does seem like a holiday !

twosunbathingdogs Wed 24-Oct-18 17:11:44

One of my kids when she was two would scream non stop when we were in the car because I wouldn’t let her drive

No useful advice but this did bring back memories of how completely unreasonable toddlers can be

RubySlippers77 Wed 24-Oct-18 23:24:37

Will/ do your twins go to nursery or preschool, red? Mine go three mornings a week and it's great, they enjoy it and I finally have time to do some cleaning/ errands/ life admin. Next term it will be free and that's even better grin

I completely empathise with another one of your posts by the way, about lacking confidence. I'm a SAHM, not so much from choice as we couldn't afford childcare for two and have no backup if they needed to stay off for whatever reason! I really don't like being at home with the DC as much as I thought I would - again, probably because two are so much harder to look after than one at this age - and it's given my confidence such a knock, I find it hard to imagine being respected in the workplace again. I'm thinking of studying/ re-training but no idea what I'd like to do...

Sharpcattlegridheavyhat Thu 25-Oct-18 07:07:18

Know what you mean, ruby with my first I actually really loved that first year just me and him. Then the twins came along and i always think the word for it is ‘overwhelming’ - I’m still glad I have this time with them and they’re all wonderful but it’s just the relentlessness of the madness! I’ve been looking at part time jobs but the idea of actually getting one is terrifying even though I’m qualified.

RubySlippers77 Thu 25-Oct-18 11:52:52

I do feel like I missed out on that bond Sharp - other twin mums I know have said the same - it's lovely when you get that 'one on one' time with a baby or small child and with twins you rarely do!! One mum I know said all she did was panic when hers were asleep, couldn't relax and hold them as there was simply too much to do (housework, bottle prep etc). Another had a DD aged 5 when her twins came along and feels guilty that she can't give them the same time she gave her DD - said they spent ages together reading stories, doing art etc - but twins just don't get the same opportunities. Plus mine would never sit still without squabbling for that long anyway hmm

It's not just me with the fear of working then! Part of me would love the adult conversation and using my brain again but most of me is really scared of being in another environment. I was made redundant when I was due to go back to work and I think if that hadn't happened things would have been different. Now I feel like I'm overweight, scruffy and my brain has melted due to too long dealing with screeching children.....

RubySlippers77 Thu 25-Oct-18 12:07:00

Oh and hats off to you coping with three!! shockshock

Sharpcattlegridheavyhat Thu 25-Oct-18 12:19:49

ruby me too about work! I’m heavier, look older, and I catastophise about actually getting a job and constantly having to say ‘sorry, they’re ill, sorry I have to leave to pick them up, sorry I can’t work an extra day I’ve told you that’s my time with the kids’ etc etc and I just don’t know how on Earth people juggle it.

Luckily I feel like my three can vaguely play together now, but it absolutely broke my heart when the twins were newborns and ds didn’t have proper time with me. It’s nice we can all muck in together now but bloody hell I wish he napped when the twins did and I could just watch Made in Chelsea or some other total crap to clear my mind grin

Alwayscheerful Thu 25-Oct-18 13:26:26

Cutted up pear x 2 

mammmamia Thu 25-Oct-18 22:34:32

Mine are 8 now and they’re brilliant but very, um, intense... they constantly talk at the same time and interrupt each other and they’re very noisy! They play together so nicely though and are getting better at doing stuff around the house.

When they were toddlers it was so tiring. These are some things that worked for me:

Take them out every day, twice or three times if you can. Even a walk down the road to look at trees or something. They are like puppies and need walking.

Always have snacks with you for supermarket etc. Rice cakes are good.

In warm weather give them a couple of paint brushes and some water and let them sit outside and ‘paint’ the house / garden furniture. Occupied for ages.

Mine made so much mess at meal times I used to try to have one meal out per day. Picnic, friend’s house, cafe, mums house etc.

Buy a few matching tops / hoodies in bright colours and put them on when you go to the park - much easier to spot them when you’re trying to watch two. Must be bright though, mine had matching GAP hoodies in orange - obviously in the sale, no one else wanted that colour but we used them so much!

I worked 3 days a week so I only had them on my own 2 days a week - had DH at the weekend - so much easier in that sense.

Wagonwheelsandstrawberryjam Thu 25-Oct-18 22:45:44

Another twin mum here B/B, it does get eaiser as they get older and they're just coming into a new phase in lives and finding their feet.
When mine were that age I practically reached breaking point and went crying to my health visitor, who got them into a nursery within a week just so I could have a break. Is that something you're able to do? It will also help them let off a bit of steam.

flowers gincake

Sharpcattlegridheavyhat Fri 26-Oct-18 06:44:27

Love the hoodie idea mammma! The idea of ‘releasing the hounds’ in a public space still terrifies me though... last time one of them made herself at home at someone’s picnic and started helping herself to sausage rolls...

serenmoon Fri 26-Oct-18 06:48:13

Love the paintbrush idea grin. Do any of you use reins? I wouldn’t have with a single but feel like it might be necessary. What style is recommended?

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