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2 year old twins becoming difficult!

(114 Posts)
redrhubarb Thu 18-Oct-18 21:20:04

Up until now life with my dtwins had been surprisingly enjoyable. They cooperated with me (most of the time)and were generally well behaved. Now they are 2 1/2 and extremely challenging!

They moan about anything and everything. Today we've had tantrums over:
Getting out of bed
Not having milk on cereal
Having milk on cereal
Having a spotty nappy on instead of striped
Not being able to wear shorts
Having to wear a hat
Having to get In the pushchair
Having to stay in the pushchair
Not wanting to walk
Not getting biscuits from the shop
Having orange juice when wanting black currant
Having to eat dinner
Getting out the bath
Putting wrong pjs on
The list goes on but writing it's just annoying me even more!

Having this all day from both babies is so mentally exhausting.

I was hoping things would be getting easier now but it's so much harder.

Can any twin mums please reassure me this is a short phase that will pass !

BackforGood Fri 19-Oct-18 00:23:43

Well, I'm not a twin Mum but didn't want to leave you on 'Unanswered Threads'
Sorry to have to break it yo, but the "Terrible Twos" got that name for a reason grin

Hts off to all parents of multiples who have to handle 2 (or more) 'learning how to tantrum' at the same time grin

HeartburnCentral Fri 19-Oct-18 15:38:57

brew cake I haven't much advice because our twins are younger. Going by my older children, life will improve again. I am dreading the terrible 2's with twins. I take every day as it comes. What I find works for me is keeping the biscuit press well stocked and giving myself lots of little breaks. Pick your fights when it comes to tantrums, it makes it easier. I let the small stuff (like what top to wear) go, but I am relentless when it comes to their safety (seatbelts and harness straps are compulsory). grin

MrsVietor Fri 19-Oct-18 15:43:26

@BackforGood has got it.

Also, three is shite. And four is still annoying as fuck.

Then you get to send them to school. 

coffeeneeded Fri 19-Oct-18 15:55:30

I have twins and I could've written your post yesterday with one addition. Potty training.

Don't do it op. Leave them in nappies for as long as possible. I don't know the sex of your babies (I have b/g) but girls are easier to train in my opinion!

The fighting. The screaming. The arguments. The bribery. The constant noise. It's all shit. But sometimes they run around the room chasing each other and giggling to themselves and it's all worthwhile.

Mine are also 2 1/2. Best thing we did was buy them both kindle fires- give you a bit of peace and quiet and it's how I'm writing this post right now.

I'm drinking more now than I have done since the kids were born...... hugs and sympathy.

ScrunchyBook Fri 19-Oct-18 17:41:51

My b/g twins are just over 2yrs and they are doing all of this. It's exhausting (more so for my DH to be fair though as he is SAHD).
Sorry you're going through it too, but it's nice to know we're not alone grin

ileclerc Fri 19-Oct-18 17:49:20

I used to be a bit smug about mine when they were two and were angelic. And then they hit three and were an absolute fucking nightmare.

Sympathies. They're perfectly lovely now they're six...

Xocaraic Fri 19-Oct-18 18:27:32

Twin mum, b/g twins.
It is normal behaviour. I used to say constantly ( and by that I mean every sixty seconds or so...this too shall pass)
It does get better. I promise faithfully.
If you can get out for a big long walk every day or most days..that helps clear your head and exhausts little legs!
Reward charts and stickers worked wonders and for 20 gold stars they got a treat on a Friday (and ice cream from the Gelato place near us)
The words Indoor Voice is something we still have to use, but less so...

redrhubarb Fri 19-Oct-18 19:32:24

Thanks everyone. Glad I'm not alone, but sorry for those struggling too. We had quite a good day today and did manage to have a long walk which tired us all out 

coffeeneeded Fri 19-Oct-18 21:08:35

Definitely not alone. Are you involved in a local twins club???

SeaToSki Fri 19-Oct-18 21:15:28

Expect the moaning and just carry on. If you let it stop you, you will never get anywhere

set up a way of talking with
"this is a choice, you can choose the blue trousers or the pink trousers"
"this is not a choice, you will get in the pushchair now"
(and then just pick them up and put them in while ignoring any tantrums - or they wont believe you next time)

as long as they got enough choice moments, mine seemed to moan less about the not a choice moments

also, when giving them a choice, just use two or three things, and put the one you want last.

then drink gin or red wine in the evening when they are in bed!

RubySlippers77 Sat 20-Oct-18 21:42:59

Ah OP, you are definitely not alone. Mine are just 3 and the whinging was more or less constant today! DTS1 was a late talker but I'm sure his moaning will catch up with DTS2's soon.....

Have to say that mine get worse the longer they are cooped up together - so we try not to be in the house too long in the mornings, for example. (Other people's DTs may be easier but mine simply cannot play together/ in the same room for long without squabbling!). Means nice long walk/ trip to the park/ swimming in the morning if there's no preschool, lunch, then another walk/ wearing out activity for the afternoon. The moaning does decrease when they're outside enjoying themselves, till it tips over into overtiredness and tantrumming of course grin

It does make me sad sometimes to see my friends who only have one DC out and about having an easy life when I simply cannot attempt too much with two. But apparently this will get easier as they get older?! I live in hope.....!

redrhubarb Sun 21-Oct-18 07:43:24

It upsets me too that I always seem to be moaning about how difficult things are when my friends seem to be enjoying their small dc. We don't go to any twin groups as there aren't any locally.

SunshineP Sun 21-Oct-18 07:47:04

Poor you. I had three kids under 4 at one stage and that was bad enough.
The unreasonable twos are awful but you get through it.
One of my kids when she was two would scream non stop when we were in the car because I wouldn’t let her drive.
Try and get some peace when you can and be as selfish as possible. You need time away from them as much as you can so you can keep sane.

RubySlippers77 Sun 21-Oct-18 16:28:24

The school holidays - six weeks of just me and them - I nearly went mad confused

Do you have a supportive partner and/ or family, OP? DP and I have really struggled since our DTs were born, he hasn't stepped up the way I thought he would, and that's definitely come between us. (Not saying I have been perfect but he always gets more child-free time than me, for example!). I don't have family nearby and MIL is very ill at the moment and can't help much. It's tough, and certainly much tougher looking after two (or more) LOs than one.

Sharpcattlegridheavyhat Sun 21-Oct-18 16:47:36

Just wanted to wallow in other people’s misery as DH has been ill all weekend when I really needed a break, twins are 2 and ds is 3 (but not long till 4.) I feel like there must be a letter that I should have got through the post that says “this weeks punishments are as follows....”

RubySlippers77 Sun 21-Oct-18 16:52:01

Ha Sharp, I think my letter is in the post too! 'D'P currently sulking again and of course this means he won't do any housework, childcare, cooking, etc etc. How do you manage with three under four?! I take my hat off to you, eyes in the back of your head must definitely be needed!!

Sharpcattlegridheavyhat Sun 21-Oct-18 16:56:17

Luckily the 3 year old is quite sensible, but he is quite clingy so often I’m wading through the treacle of three grizzly children attached to my legs!

Any kind of adult sulking with small children should be PROHIBITED - further stress is not possible, give him a pie to the face, ruby

RubySlippers77 Sun 21-Oct-18 17:45:36

I would love to Sharp but that would bring on further sulking!! I thought he was going to be the BEST dad but often he just can't be bothered with them (any time he is tired, ill, hungover, has something better to do, etc...). If we'd had three he would probably have given at least one to his mum to bring up shock

He seems unaware of how small children behave too - yes, toddlers can be hard work, why do you think the terrible twos are so named?! - and unwilling to learn sad

Actually writing this I think my DTs are less hassle than him at the moment!!

Olderbyaminute Sun 21-Oct-18 18:14:30

RubySlippers77 I’d pick a quiet time to talk to him about his selfish and immature behavior. TBH if that didn’t work I’d be reconsidering the entire relationship. You and your children deserve two parents in the house-you are not an indentured servant.

Sharpcattlegridheavyhat Sun 21-Oct-18 21:20:07

He’s let you down, ruby. I’m so sorry. It makes me sad because it’s bloody hard enough. You do need to talk to him. And I’m sorry to to the OP, red I know what you mean about others seemingly enjoying it that bit more. I feel like I can’t leave the house. And I do moan! At least we can all agree it’s tough, hopefully we can look back on this conversation soon knowing it’s past.

redrhubarb Sun 21-Oct-18 21:42:32

Yes I keep thinking to myself one day I will look back on this time and wonder how I ever survived!

RubySlippers77 Mon 22-Oct-18 22:51:32

Ha, I feel like that too red!! And it does make me sad to feel like L'm 'surviving' rather than 'enjoying' - but it's encouraging to know I'm not alone smile

I had to take the DTs shopping today - literally nip into a shop and collect something - except of course the order was wrong, it took 10 minutes to sort out, etc - by which time the DTs were all over each other with boredom, pulling hair, biting, scratching..... surely these things are far easier with just the one to manage?!

(Thank you for your kind words Older and Sharp - DP is working long hours Monday - Friday at the moment and I don't get to talk to him much at all - not sure if this is helping things or not!!)

RubySlippers77 Wed 24-Oct-18 08:24:32

Well today I am just about out of my mind with tiredness sad - full of cold (from the DTs of course!) and was much in need of a good night's sleep. Cue DTS2 up 1am - 2.30am faffing around, wanting milk, wanting a nappy, not wanting a nappy, and so on..... then DTS1 woke himself up at 5.40am and wouldn't go back to sleep angry

DTS1 is 'highly strung' and on the verge of a tantrum at the best of times, today he will also be massively tired/ overtired, joy.

Any ideas on how to manage today everyone? Feel like my head is full of cotton wool; sometimes I really, really hate having twins, as one on their own would have gone back to sleep and let me get some rest. Is the best solution boarding school regular CBeebies breaks?!

coffeeneeded Wed 24-Oct-18 10:12:37

CBeebies, Reading, YouTube videos of cute animals... all perfectly acceptable.

Good luck!

serenmoon Wed 24-Oct-18 10:18:12

Jumping into sympathize. Twins are fantastic but also such hard work and I find parents with one aren’t at all understanding. I feel so limited in what I can do with them and feel so guilty that I’m not giving them the same opportunities single children get.

Sharpcattlegridheavyhat Wed 24-Oct-18 11:33:04

How old are they again? I’ve been cutting out pumpkin shapes from orange paper and handing them pens to do the faces, we’ve covered the house with them! Good luck. Some days are just a write off!

Sharpcattlegridheavyhat Wed 24-Oct-18 11:34:12

Yeah I feel like that seren- I know for a fact they’d absolutely love swimming for example but that’s not an option!

serenmoon Wed 24-Oct-18 11:37:15

Oh yes swimming is something we can’t do and we have such a lovely local pool with fantastic toddler splash area. Even the park can be tricky when they want to go in different directions and it’s not fenced. Playgroup can be tough too as I end up running after them both, totally exhausting while parents of one can sit and drink coffee. Ah well, so many people tell me it gets easier grin

RubySlippers77 Wed 24-Oct-18 12:56:33

Thanks all - not that I want other people to have a tough time too, but it helps to know I'm not on my own!!

Like the OP, it's just so wearing listening to two lots of moaning all day.....

We've done the playground for a bit, I gave in to the golden arches for lunch, they are now watching CBeebies whilst I try to stop feeling quite so tired and achey. DTS1 has done a big poo but is hiding behind a chair rather than letting me change his nappy..... marvellous.

I would love to do splash pools, more playgroups etc but like PP I simply can't with two to watch/ look after. People with one DC or one toddler + baby don't really get it.

My friend's DH is a twin and his mum vividly remembers being pushed right to the edge of her sanity having two to look after. She has told my friend many times about how tough it was! My friend's DH is in his 50s confused

Looooong walk plus more playground planned for this afternoon to get the little horrors to sleep. Then hopefully it is the Apprentice and wine for me to cheer up my day!

RubySlippers77 Wed 24-Oct-18 12:57:38

Mine are just turned 3 Sharp. Craft time is later once they are fed up with TV - thank you for the pumpkin idea!

Sharpcattlegridheavyhat Wed 24-Oct-18 13:49:21

Ah yes, wine. Relying too much on a glass at the end of the day as my ‘reward’ - it took a lot not to have any last night! I dread playgroups too- I don’t go to any but am working myself up to one a friend goes to. I just think there won’t be any sitting down involved...

coffeeneeded Wed 24-Oct-18 13:58:22

You need to find playgroups that are either smaller rooms or multiple specific. Try looking at tamba to see where your local club is.

It's totally worth it! There is a special bond between parents of multiples and it's great to chat! I run a local twins playgroup and I barely see my own children during the session but I know they're safe.

I'm trying to teach mine about dice led games at the moment...... a bit of p&q!

redrhubarb Wed 24-Oct-18 14:03:22

We've had a lot of tears today from both me and dtwins  it started by them waking me up at 5:15 and whinging until I got up at 5:30. I'm so tired all the time and I feel like whenever I meet new people I come across as really downbeat and uninteresting.

We tried to go to the local soft play but dt1 would not sit in the pram and after 30 minutes of begging him I gave up and put the tv on ! I will try again tomorrow and if the same thing happens I might just take dt2 and leave dt1 with daddy.

Theweasleytwins Wed 24-Oct-18 14:12:27

My DT are 2 1/2ish. They are both difficult

My girl is fine most of the time but gets stroppy when not getting her own way- e.g. Having my food which is exactly the same as hers😓

Think my boy might have LD (i do and so does dh so definitely possible) he got really upset yesterday because I put a little bit of cheese on his beans so he refused to eat them
He gets upset at rather strange things

missyB1 Wed 24-Oct-18 14:12:35

Sorry Red that sounds shit sad I would definitely take the other twin and leave him behind next time - he needs to see the consequence of his behaviour. Although tbh I would have forcibly put him in the pram.

Hope your day improves!

RubySlippers77 Wed 24-Oct-18 14:35:13

Handhold (and wine!) for you red. Honestly I would definitely leave one DT behind with your DH if you can; having only one DC to look after feels like a holiday after spending most of your time with twins!!

DTS2 has given in to his tiredness and is napping. DTS1 is being a whinging, attention seeking horror. Usually I would try to give him some one on one time but feel so rubbish and tired (his fault!!) that I just can't, more CBeebies for him.

I do wonder too if he has some form of LD as he simply cannot switch off and relax/ sleep without being completely physically exhausted. And he is only ever a minute away from an enormous strop. These things would probably be manageable if I didn't have another toddler to look after at the same time!

Sharpcattlegridheavyhat Wed 24-Oct-18 16:45:07

Do you ever get any opportunity for a break, red? Any grandparents who could give you a night off, even if it’s just a house swap for the night so you can have a lie in?

redrhubarb Wed 24-Oct-18 17:05:09

sharp I don't have anyone else to help. I don't get a break at all but to be honest I would only worry if I was away from my dc. I agree looking after one twin does seem like a holiday !

twosunbathingdogs Wed 24-Oct-18 17:11:44

One of my kids when she was two would scream non stop when we were in the car because I wouldn’t let her drive

No useful advice but this did bring back memories of how completely unreasonable toddlers can be

RubySlippers77 Wed 24-Oct-18 23:24:37

Will/ do your twins go to nursery or preschool, red? Mine go three mornings a week and it's great, they enjoy it and I finally have time to do some cleaning/ errands/ life admin. Next term it will be free and that's even better grin

I completely empathise with another one of your posts by the way, about lacking confidence. I'm a SAHM, not so much from choice as we couldn't afford childcare for two and have no backup if they needed to stay off for whatever reason! I really don't like being at home with the DC as much as I thought I would - again, probably because two are so much harder to look after than one at this age - and it's given my confidence such a knock, I find it hard to imagine being respected in the workplace again. I'm thinking of studying/ re-training but no idea what I'd like to do...

Sharpcattlegridheavyhat Thu 25-Oct-18 07:07:18

Know what you mean, ruby with my first I actually really loved that first year just me and him. Then the twins came along and i always think the word for it is ‘overwhelming’ - I’m still glad I have this time with them and they’re all wonderful but it’s just the relentlessness of the madness! I’ve been looking at part time jobs but the idea of actually getting one is terrifying even though I’m qualified.

RubySlippers77 Thu 25-Oct-18 11:52:52

I do feel like I missed out on that bond Sharp - other twin mums I know have said the same - it's lovely when you get that 'one on one' time with a baby or small child and with twins you rarely do!! One mum I know said all she did was panic when hers were asleep, couldn't relax and hold them as there was simply too much to do (housework, bottle prep etc). Another had a DD aged 5 when her twins came along and feels guilty that she can't give them the same time she gave her DD - said they spent ages together reading stories, doing art etc - but twins just don't get the same opportunities. Plus mine would never sit still without squabbling for that long anyway hmm

It's not just me with the fear of working then! Part of me would love the adult conversation and using my brain again but most of me is really scared of being in another environment. I was made redundant when I was due to go back to work and I think if that hadn't happened things would have been different. Now I feel like I'm overweight, scruffy and my brain has melted due to too long dealing with screeching children.....

RubySlippers77 Thu 25-Oct-18 12:07:00

Oh and hats off to you coping with three!! shockshock

Sharpcattlegridheavyhat Thu 25-Oct-18 12:19:49

ruby me too about work! I’m heavier, look older, and I catastophise about actually getting a job and constantly having to say ‘sorry, they’re ill, sorry I have to leave to pick them up, sorry I can’t work an extra day I’ve told you that’s my time with the kids’ etc etc and I just don’t know how on Earth people juggle it.

Luckily I feel like my three can vaguely play together now, but it absolutely broke my heart when the twins were newborns and ds didn’t have proper time with me. It’s nice we can all muck in together now but bloody hell I wish he napped when the twins did and I could just watch Made in Chelsea or some other total crap to clear my mind grin

Alwayscheerful Thu 25-Oct-18 13:26:26

Cutted up pear x 2 

mammmamia Thu 25-Oct-18 22:34:32

Mine are 8 now and they’re brilliant but very, um, intense... they constantly talk at the same time and interrupt each other and they’re very noisy! They play together so nicely though and are getting better at doing stuff around the house.

When they were toddlers it was so tiring. These are some things that worked for me:

Take them out every day, twice or three times if you can. Even a walk down the road to look at trees or something. They are like puppies and need walking.

Always have snacks with you for supermarket etc. Rice cakes are good.

In warm weather give them a couple of paint brushes and some water and let them sit outside and ‘paint’ the house / garden furniture. Occupied for ages.

Mine made so much mess at meal times I used to try to have one meal out per day. Picnic, friend’s house, cafe, mums house etc.

Buy a few matching tops / hoodies in bright colours and put them on when you go to the park - much easier to spot them when you’re trying to watch two. Must be bright though, mine had matching GAP hoodies in orange - obviously in the sale, no one else wanted that colour but we used them so much!

I worked 3 days a week so I only had them on my own 2 days a week - had DH at the weekend - so much easier in that sense.

Wagonwheelsandstrawberryjam Thu 25-Oct-18 22:45:44

Another twin mum here B/B, it does get eaiser as they get older and they're just coming into a new phase in lives and finding their feet.
When mine were that age I practically reached breaking point and went crying to my health visitor, who got them into a nursery within a week just so I could have a break. Is that something you're able to do? It will also help them let off a bit of steam.

flowers gincake

Sharpcattlegridheavyhat Fri 26-Oct-18 06:44:27

Love the hoodie idea mammma! The idea of ‘releasing the hounds’ in a public space still terrifies me though... last time one of them made herself at home at someone’s picnic and started helping herself to sausage rolls...

serenmoon Fri 26-Oct-18 06:48:13

Love the paintbrush idea grin. Do any of you use reins? I wouldn’t have with a single but feel like it might be necessary. What style is recommended?

Strawberrytraveller Fri 26-Oct-18 06:56:30

Reins - those little backpacks with lease are good.

Otherwise giving them more choices now can help if possible. only give them the choices you want them to have anyway, so not 'what tshirt do you want', but pick two and ask' this one or this one'.

The park is great in winter on a cold day. hardly anyone else goes! so wrap everyone up and might be a good chance to let them run with less people about. For next summer, if you have a garden, maybe ask for garden toys for xmas from people and then you can invite friends over with children and they can play in the garden a bit more contained.

mammmamia Fri 26-Oct-18 08:29:18

We had the Little Life reins with backpacks. I thought they were great. If only because when the kids put the integral hoods on they look absolutely hilarious grin

coffeeneeded Fri 26-Oct-18 09:16:39

I bought reigns and have had some success. But now my twins are older they refuse point blank to wear them- so I carry them as a threat. "If you don't listen to me when we're walking I'll put the reigns on". Seems to work.

I did have some very annoying moments with the reigns though- if one of them runs and the other doesn't you're scuppered!

RubySlippers77 Sun 28-Oct-18 10:29:01

Ahhh I was hoping mine would grow out of the 'talking constantly and loudly to be heard over the other one' phase, mammmamia!!

We started off with these reins (when the DTs were very small and crawling but not walking): then moved to the backpack ones. Now they will often wear the backpacks to store their 'treasures' but want the rein bit off, unfortunately. I second the hoodies idea, not just for finding them but also because the hoods are handy to grab on to when they start to run.....!

Sharp mine don't nap during the day now either sad it was a tragic day when they stopped needing a sleep but they weren't going to bed until very late, it felt like a choice between a daytime break and a loooong evening, or struggling through a day but then at least having a couple of hours to myself in the evening! although it never works like that as there's so much tidying up to do

Half term for us this week coming and I've resigned myself to the house being a bit of a tip; I do the urgent bits but never get half an hour to myself to clean the bathroom out, for example. I tend to do my cleaning when they're at preschool and have no idea how people get it done if they're at work then, along with all the other stuff I have to get done in my small amount of child free time! And Sharp I don't think I have the mental capacity to cope with work at the moment either, the idea of being given an important task to do when I might only have had a few hours' broken sleep is really scary.....

RubySlippers77 Mon 29-Oct-18 09:20:59

Day 1 of half term for us. The DTs were up before 6am (of course, when we have nothing to get up for) and are already bored and squabbling. Shouty Mum (me!) has made an appearance as they were tearing chunks out of each other whilst I tried to sort out the washing. How early is too early for gin?!

mammmamia Mon 29-Oct-18 09:45:10

How old are they ruby?
I do find having a bit of a plan for the day helps.
Can you get them out to the park now, preferably one that has a coffee shop where you can get a brew? grin
Followed by a simple craft activity or play doh while you get lunch ready.
Then some TV time.
Then local soft play or similar?

I don’t know, mine were and are so full of beans I always had to have a few things planned to get through the day!

coffeeneeded Mon 29-Oct-18 10:54:09

We've already been to a music class where my boy twin kept trying to escape- he then got home and wee'd all over the floor.

Morning all! Happy Monday. 🤦🏼‍♀️

Sharpcattlegridheavyhat Mon 29-Oct-18 11:06:53

Urgh I’m with you all. Half term fun with three under 4 here (preschool half term, second week!). Lots of squabbling and even a bit of biting! Fun times. No way of leaving the house except for play dates, I find myself furiously texting everyone I’ve ever met inviting myself over.... grin

feesh Mon 29-Oct-18 12:26:11

Hi folks. I’ve got twins and a younger Singleton. I just wanted to say that with twins, it DOES get easier. When mine (b/g) were 3 they suddenly started to play together all the time, and actually my life became easier than it did for my friends with only one (who needed constant attention and entertainment).

Also, I’ve since had a singleton and I cannot believe the difference only having one makes. It is a hundred miles from having twins. Please make sure you surround yourselves with fellow twin mums and don’t compare yourself to Singleton mums. Everything about having a Singleton is so different - the bond, the patience, the activities, the cuddles...everything. Twins really takes it out of you, don’t beat yourselves up about anything

RubySlippers77 Mon 29-Oct-18 13:47:18

Mine are just three now mammmamia and have just collapsed onto the sofa. A pre 6am start was too much even for them!! DTS2 wouldn't even eat his lunch, he was so tired. DTS1 has fallen asleep clutching a prawn cracker.....

We did the park first thing (but it was very chilly!) then an art class, which they enjoyed for about twenty minutes before they decided that what they really wanted to do was squabble again sad

That's interesting feesh and thank you for the encouragement! I think people with just one child - or even two of different ages - can't comprehend how hard twins can be to manage. We are potty training at the moment and it's a whole new level of difficulty compared to only having one child to look after! I always thought I'd like three DC, maybe wait till my DTs were 4 or 5 before having another, but I'm not sure I could have any more children without going even more loopy hmm

Sharpcattlegridheavyhat Mon 29-Oct-18 16:46:00

But ruby, you’ll be such an expert and so used to the crazy that having a third won’t seem so hard. I do think having three is annoying in other ways though- finding a car fitting 3 car seats, being outnumbered, always having one in a bad mood even if the other two are happy!

Looking forward to an easier time like you described, feesh

mammmamia Mon 29-Oct-18 21:22:28

Everything feesh says is true!

sharpcattle, that’s so funny I used to do that. Arrange play dates with total randoms just to get out of the house. I once invited myself over to DH’s cousin’s house for lunch and she had two teenagers at home not even young children, and I didn’t even know her that well. I don’t know what I was thinking!

RubySlippers77 Mon 29-Oct-18 22:01:34

Haaaa thanks Sharp, not sure I could cope with even more of the crazy!! Honestly my health has been so bad this year (not disability level - but constant aches, pains, bugs etc) that I couldn't consider having another DC until I feel back to somewhere near my best. Sometimes I feel sorry for my DTs as I get so fed up and shouty - maybe I should make 'more patience' my New Year's Resolution?!

Ho hum, weather forecast for tomorrow is still very chilly. I think my DTs will be bundled up and out of the house before they can start bouncing off the walls with impatience!

Sharpcattlegridheavyhat Tue 30-Oct-18 06:02:22

mammma I love that, I did have a day the other day where I went through my entire phone and ended up at my next door neighbours just to get out!

Ah ruby I’ve been dreading the cold as our garden is our other ‘room’. Yesterday the girls looked a bit miserable in it and kept muttering ‘wet!’ I know what you mean about that awful relentless barrage of bugs, feeling run down, tiredness. Look after yourself as best you can....get the flu jab!

RubySlippers77 Tue 30-Oct-18 09:04:05

It's so hard sharp, I've had the jab and the boys have had their sprays, but I had it last year too and still came down with the worst flu I've ever had! Fingers crossed for this year..... it's a vicious circle, I feel crap and have no energy so end up eating rubbish, which of course means I'm more likely to get another bug sad

This morning my DTs noticed a toy kitchen we bought for them about 18 months ago that they've never played with - it's been there all the time, they've just ignored it. Within a few minutes there were shrieks and screeches because they both wanted to play with it. That exact minute. Sigh.....

No excitement planned today other than a couple of trips to the park timed round my online food shop delivery. Still cold here but they will be wrapped up and out of the door sharpish to avoid further arguments!

RubySlippers77 Tue 30-Oct-18 14:40:41

I wonder if there is such thing as a child walker? Someone I could use like a dog walker so they can entertain the DC whilst I drink tea and watch trashy TV clean and tidy the house. Extra ££ if they wrestle the DC into their winter layers beforehand too. And even more £££ if they bring them back tired out and ready for bed at 4pm!

April241 Tue 30-Oct-18 14:45:24

Haven’t RTFT but I have 2 year old twins so I’m here to say I’m in the exact same position!

I’m at my absolute wits end so here in solidarity.

Sharpcattlegridheavyhat Tue 30-Oct-18 15:43:17

red I think you started this thread at a time when we all needed to vent! Maybe we need to start another support thread or something!

So april how is your week going? Is it harder than usual or is it that delightful build up of relentlessness that makes you marvel you managed another day?!

It’s funny isn’t it about toys. I was about to throw a load away as they had ignored them but they discovered the box ready for the charity shop- ransacked it and stole one item they fought over like your kitchen toy ruby

coffeeneeded Tue 30-Oct-18 16:14:18

My two have just spent 30 mins throwing two balloons about the house. Cheapest fun ever!

A tip for you all though.

Jaffa cakes or mcvities thins are vital- you can stuff the entire thing in your mouth while the kids aren't looking and they'll never know a thing.

@RubySlippers77 that twin walking service sounds like a brilliant idea!!

April241 Tue 30-Oct-18 16:17:55

sharp definitely a more difficult week, I worked nightshift over the weekend and didn’t sleep very well even on my day off. I’m back on nightshift tonight and about had a meltdown today so my OH worked from home which let me go back to bed. Finish nights on Friday morning and back onto days on Monday, shift work is absolutely killing me!

coffeeneeded Tue 30-Oct-18 16:51:55

One of their balloons just burst. 😱😩🤦🏼‍♀️

Sharpcattlegridheavyhat Tue 30-Oct-18 17:04:11

That sounds so hard, april- do you mean you finish nights temporarily or completely? Because that’s too much with twins!

Sometimes I get irrationally angry when friends casually say they’re spending the afternoon reading or sorting their wardrobes or something...

RubySlippers77 Tue 30-Oct-18 22:47:27

April night shifts must be really tough - and swapping between the two must be incredibly hard! Glad to hear that your OH was supportive though smile are your DTs hard work as well?

Would Viscounts work too Coffee?! I've got some in my latest shopping delivery and I fully intend to snaffle the lot before the DTs get their little paws on them grin

I don't even remember how/ why I was so busy pre-DC, sharp apart from having a social life - I've just spent three hours cleaning, tidying, sorting etc once the DTs went to bed - and to think some people might sit down and enjoy a quiet evening watching TV.....

redrhubarb Wed 31-Oct-18 07:25:30

April that would be too much for me working nights! Glad it's almost finished for you.

Is anyone taking their dtwins trick or treating today?

RubySlippers77 Wed 31-Oct-18 08:29:00

Not us red, we don't have many neighbours near us who do it, not worth the effort yet! Maybe in a year or two if they would like to...

RubySlippers77 Wed 31-Oct-18 08:37:18

Today we are meeting a friend who has a DS the same age as my two; she didn't want to meet till about 10.30, I'm thinking we may be at the venue very early as my DC are already
tearing chunks out of each other 😩

m0therofdragons Wed 31-Oct-18 08:44:34

I suddenly commented to Dh that I was finding the twins easier and Dh burst out laughing "is that because they're at school for a chunk of the day?" Yep 
2-3 was the worst. Absolutely exhausting and regularly feeling like a shit mum. My poor older dd had to behave as I didn't have any time for her with my all consuming 3yos. Now they're 7 they are easier but have their moments.

mammmamia Wed 31-Oct-18 12:37:31

coffee mine are 8 and are currently being kept amused by two Halloween balloons (orange and black) grin

coffeeneeded Wed 31-Oct-18 13:21:25

Glad to hear balloon joy doesn't go away. To be fair I was entertained as well!

No trick or treating here.... can't face it. Maybe next year. 😂

I finally got my boy scooting today- so that was both of them scooting in the park. I didn't have to carry anything. WIN!

When you lot say "take them out for a walk" how do you do it? I can't seem to get mine moving unless it's for a purpose.... which normally involves the shop!

RubySlippers77 Wed 31-Oct-18 14:26:45

m0ther glad to hear it's not just mine that demand ALL the attention!! They are definitely little threenagers!

I think mine are so used to me bellowing "We are going out RIGHT NOW" when I get fed up that they don't argue about the walks, coffee! Although there is still a fair amount of grumbling and bribery is required on occasion, the local shop is almost out of Kinder Surprise eggs blush

Took DC out with my friend and her DS (same age) earlier. Had a nice walk through the woods, across fields etc with only a minimal amount of whinging from whingey DTS1. Stopped at the cafe, her DS stood patiently, chose his drink and snack, etc. Mine? All over each other, rolling round the floor, shrieking and biting. In the end I apologised to my friend and took them back to the car. They sobbed as they wanted to spend more time with my friend's DS but maybe next time it will give them pause for thought next time they start to play up. although I doubt it

coffeeneeded Wed 31-Oct-18 14:39:38

I had a similar morning @RubySlippers77 dtd has spent all morning doing her "poo dance" where she says she needs a poo, we find the loo, and then she just sits and demands attention while she does nothing. She can sit there for 20 mins if I let her! 4 times we've done this- no poo yet.

Dts went for a wee in the loo at the cafe and then he promptly wet himself when we were back at our table- I had forgotten to pack his trousers so he spent the rest of the morning wearing his sisters leggings... he didn't much like that.

Thankfully they have napped. Reset and continue. 💤💤🤷‍♀️

Sharpcattlegridheavyhat Wed 31-Oct-18 15:05:46

But....but..... walking? cafes?????? I mean with twins???? No. No no.

mammmamia Wed 31-Oct-18 15:36:45

ruby and coffee that all sounds so familiar grin

Mine are on half term and I’m off work.
I think you just get really good at multi tasking.
We made a Halloween cake for DH as it’s is bday today, while cleaning up I helped DS with French homework and DD made some paper chains. I’ve also managed to cook dinner. They both talked at the tops of their voices at the same time as usual. They’ve also had a few fights but on the whole played nicely together.
It does get easier (not sure it’s any less messy though, house is a tip)

mammmamia Wed 31-Oct-18 15:37:31

I’m exhausted though, can’t face icing the cake!

RubySlippers77 Thu 01-Nov-18 09:19:01

Did you find the energy to ice your cake mammmamia?! Hats off to you though, I wouldn't even be bothered to make one!!

Sharp, the walk with twins was (almost) fine, but cafe + sitting down + behaving = no! We're supposed to be meeting a friend today and her older DS, but he's 9 now and likes his sleep, they are probably having a lie in sad

DTS1 was up at 5.50am - no reason, he was absolutely exhausted, but did his usual incredibly annoying trick of refusing to go back to sleep. This means he will be even whingier than usual and he's already an extremely whingy child. I'm cross and tired, he's overtired and whiny, DTS2 is full of beans as he slept longer than both of us. I have wine in the fridge for later, it will be needed.....

RubySlippers77 Thu 01-Nov-18 09:21:47

Aaargghhh, my friend has just bailed due to the rain, leaving me with two wriggly children to entertain on my own all day!!

Sharpcattlegridheavyhat Thu 01-Nov-18 09:39:45

Today has just been rescued, grandparents are taking DS so it’s me and the twins all day. They’ve spent the morning fighting so it’ll be good to have one less. No idea what to do with them in this weather though. Endless crafts...

RubySlippers77 Thu 01-Nov-18 20:37:19

What did you find to do to get through today Sharp? Three little ones must be incredibly hard to cope with!

Things today that have been Not Fun:

1. Having to take two toddlers out in the pissing rain simply because they get so bored and squabbly indoors.
2. Then having said toddlers screech and bite at each other in various shops and me having to be Stern Mummy.
3. Doing another endless few hours at home after returning from shopping, till again the squabbling got too much for me and we had to go out.
4. Squabbling! Neverending bloody squabbling!!

Things today that have been Fun:

1. Children asleep in bed.
2. wine

Any more contributions?!

OrdinaryGirl Thu 01-Nov-18 21:04:30

I haven't RTFT but am slinking into this sacred space thread exhausted and frazzled and place-marking to read properly later.

Twin mum here 👋🏼 DS1 is just 5, and DTSs are 2y 7m.

I do feel your pain OP. The sheer relentless hard graft of life with toddler twins feels like having your wrist tied to a pick-up truck that is driving 3 mph faster than you can run. And you have the straight choice: learn to run faster or be dragged. And I'm so tired of running. 😞 And I'm not even a SAHM! Heaven knows how SAHPs do it.

It got a lot easier with DS1 when he got to 4, so I am hoping that will be the case with the other two jokers.

Hope tomorrow is a little easier for you OP, and for everybody on here that's feeling embattled. An absolute legend of a twin mum I know used to remind me 'Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming.' and I sing that a lot under my breath.

Sharpcattlegridheavyhat Thu 01-Nov-18 21:25:31

That was intense to read, ordinary! Mostly because that description is spot on. My ds is going to be 4 soon and I can see a difference already, he even helps with the twins a little bit, and he adores them. But yes ruby the squabbling! It was really bad for me too today. Wasn’t going to have wine but had a glass.... to be honest we didn’t do much! Play doh, painting in those magic colouring books, playmobil and sylvanians (bit young for them being 2 but they like them more than more babyish toys.) really not much else!

RubySlippers77 Fri 02-Nov-18 18:04:23

Ordinary I'm very tired of running too! The word which crops up most when reading about the twin toddler years is relentless and that's exactly how I'd describe it. Might be different if you have amazingly supportive partner and/ or family, but sadly I don't.

Having said that, My DTs went to MIL & FIL for the afternoon today as I had to go to a meeting about DTS1's speech therapy and couldn't take them. The meeting itself was fine - apart from a few questions which I was supposed to answer intelligently, and nowadays I'm not knowledgeable about anything except the members of Paw Patrol - and happily it finished a bit early, so I went for coffee and cake in peace - it was AMAZING grin

It also meant I had a few hours of no-one shouting "Where ARE you Mummy?", "Come and watch me on the potty" or general background squabbling noises. I left them with the grandparents and pretty much skipped out of the door in anticipation of my treat!

OrdinaryGirl Fri 02-Nov-18 22:49:16

Yay Ruby! Delighted to see you got a lovely slice of cake peace and quiet! Do hope was restorative.

At the risk of angering the gods of sleep, all is quiet here. I reckon I can get a whopping 5.5 hours sleep in before DTS1 wakes for the day with his horrible hacking cough wailing 'Mummy cuddle! Daddy cuddle. Muuuummeeeeee cuuuudddddle!'



OrdinaryGirl Fri 02-Nov-18 22:50:14

Redrhubarb how're you bearing up?

RubySlippers77 Sat 03-Nov-18 11:04:55

Did you get some sleep Ordinary?

I'm paying for my easy afternoon yesterday... today it feels like a marathon just to leave the house 🤦‍♀️

redrhubarb Sat 03-Nov-18 12:40:07

Ordinarygirl we've had a good few days where the twins have been behaving. This morning though, they decided to fight again and they refused to go out in the pushchair.

Oh well at least they gave me a break for a few days.

namechange9681 Sat 03-Nov-18 13:04:03

@redrhubarb OH GOD! Sounds like my 2 year old ! Some days she's moans ALL day and then even in bed for 10 mins before she falls asleep 😂

RubySlippers77 Sun 04-Nov-18 10:01:32

Ah I feel for you red, mine went through a buggy hating phase too, although they are currently appreciating its warmth! Could you try a twin trike, mine love theirs? Or get a cheapo single buggy, pop one in and encourage the other one to race you?! Mine will do that, admittedly for short periods, but gets you out of the house smile

DP being an absolute arse this morning. Hard as it is to manage two toddlers, it's even harder when he's acting like an overgrown, sulky toddler himself...

RubySlippers77 Tue 06-Nov-18 10:34:37

How is everyone's week going? My DTs are back at preschool and I am revelling in the simple joy of being able to make a phone call without being interrupted every five seconds grin

coffeeneeded Tue 06-Nov-18 14:41:55


I'm not very well- DH is also unwell (worse of course) and my DT's are being extremely hard going. We've had biting, hitting, throwing and, worst of all, no nap today.

I need gin

RubySlippers77 Tue 06-Nov-18 15:07:34

Sending gin coffee! I've definitely been there...!

There's just no let up with mine at the moment; even when I think ah, they're tired out and will watch TV and chill for a bit, they'll STILL find the energy to squabble...

Is there anyone who can take your DC for a bit to give you some recovery time? And boo to your DH having to be more ill than you - mine does it with illness, tiredness etc!

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