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Reality has sunk in and I'm panicking a bit

(16 Posts)
PetalToes Sat 01-Sep-18 00:22:11

Need a either a handhold or a shake. Or maybe both

Dd is 8 months old and we have twins due mid December.
Dh works offshore

He goes away on Sunday for 3 months and it's just now starting to sink in that the next time he goes away in February I'm going to be left alone with 2 month old twins and a just turned 1yo and I've no idea how am I'm going to manage.

The only support we have in the area is mil, who's wonderful, but she cares for fil who doesn't keep well so can't offer much help

Cornishclio Sat 01-Sep-18 00:30:49

There is no denying it will be tough so try and accept all the help you can. I had 18 months between my 2 DDs and my husband worked away a lot and my health visitor suggested I approach our local college which did nursery nurse courses to see if any of the students needed work placements. One of them used to come one day a week just to help out and it was a godsend.

Purplepjs Sat 01-Sep-18 00:48:18

You can try contacting sure start. They can, where they have the funding, match people with a supporter who can visit weekly for a few hours to help with the children. This can give you time for housework, or rest! My sister had a lovely lady support her during a time of illness with her three children and I am sure your circumstances would warrant support!! Best wishes.

villainousbroodmare Sat 01-Sep-18 01:05:37

I have 3mo twins and a 3yo. You will not be able to look after three babies alone. Just impossible. Especially when DD starts walking. You will need proper daily and likely nightly help. Not just a student weekly, or a cleaner. I don't mean to add to your anxiety but it's a fact.

Top tip: make sure your twins will accept a bottle and make sure they get a couple of bottles every day. One of mine is a bottle refuser and it's a real problem.

Twins are lovely though. smile

littlecabbage Sat 01-Sep-18 01:10:30

In our area, I believe the charity that will help is Homestart (they are national).

sparklyDMs Sat 01-Sep-18 01:12:26

I had twins and for a while had 3 dc's under 2 years - I just want to reiterate the advice on contacting the local college - i did this and had a student placed with me for four days a week. Surestart may be able to offer some help - might also be worth asking your midwife for any local support charities .

villainousbroodmare Sat 01-Sep-18 09:02:35

Also, and I hope this doesn't happen, but with a twin pregnancy there is a much greater chance that you might need to spend some time in hospital towards the end and that the babies might also. So give some thought to what you'd organize for DD if that were to happen.
I think you also need to be more organized ahead of time than with a single baby. I'd suggest things like freezing dozens of small portions of food for toddler meals. Having key items like double buggy plus single and double sling, twin bf pillow (if planning to bf), Perfect Prep (if planning to ff or maybe in any case), baby clothes and nappies already purchased. I would also start now to work on DD's sleep to try and move towards night weaning and self-settling insofar as possible.

PetalToes Sat 01-Sep-18 09:46:30

Thank you so much for all the practical advice.

I'll definitely look into charities near me and the local college.
Dh also suggested sending dd to nursery a few says a week after which I know is sensible but at the moment (and I know it's silly) I feel really awful about the idea of sending her away so I can spend more time with the new babies.

He'll be home for the birth, so should I need to stay in hospital for a bit he'll be able to look after dd

Freezing toddler meals is a great idea.
We've started buying things already but I think I need to get my act together and be a bit more organised and methodical with it.

Dd has been (so far, touchwood) a pretty easy baby so I think I may be in for a shock in December

Lindtnotlint Sat 01-Sep-18 09:54:32

I have never done three under two, but have done lots of two under two. I would really, really, really look to get some help if at all possible: family come to stay, student, charity. Whatever you can get. Good luck!

villainousbroodmare Sat 01-Sep-18 10:19:59

Don't panic, just plan! I think nursery would be a very good idea. Don't be too emotional about it. Every day you are going to be juggling babies from bed to arms to bouncy chair to changing table and bed again. All day and half the night. So I reckon that a few hours of nursery will be a slight easing of pressure for you and really a nice new experience for DD. Also, DD will absolutely remain the priority person in terms of her emotional needs. The new babies will need a lot of input obviously but she will be the one you read with, joke with, dance with etc and of course they will benefit from that. Buy lots of books and music for her. Pots, pans, balloons, bubbles, blocks, stash them away and rotate them for entertainment. Also consider a play pen, not so much for her but to park the babies in to be safe from investigation!

DaenerysismyQueen Fri 07-Sep-18 01:58:41

I've got a 2 year old and two month year old twins. My 2 year old is a bit of a handful so perhaps this won't apply to you but I would definitely organise help, I couldn't survive without it.

Twins are great though, just hard work!

Good luck!

MrsY87 Sat 08-Sep-18 07:41:25

We have twins due mid Ffeb when DS will be 17m and DD will be 4yrs 3m. I'm also panicking a bit about how I'm going to cope! My DH is around at the weekend but works long hours during the week (leaves at 6.30am home at 8.30pm). I would definitely get your DD settled at nursery now, I've just started my DS for 2 mornings a week, to give me a bit of time to rest, start sorting things out etc. I'm probably going to up that just before the twins arrive. DD does 2.5 days a week already.
I can't offer much advice but here to hand hold, I'm sure we'll both get through it and survive! Also following for tips on how to make life as easy as possible with 3 under 2!

willisurvive3under2 Sun 09-Sep-18 22:07:28

3 under 2 here and it's not impossible. It's really hard work but not impossible. Nursery is a good idea, and of course accept all the help you can find. Make sure all babies sleep off you, offer bottles if you're planning to BF, get a double sling. Leave the house if you can and go to playgroups, twin club etc. People will love to help. Your DD won't know any different so don't feel guilty about her. Good luck x

littlebillie Mon 10-Sep-18 21:40:43

Can't you post locally on MN for help surely there must be people who can help.

The bottle feeding is so right. If you are the only one who can feed it will be too much .

CrinolineFrou Mon 17-Sep-18 18:11:02

OP, You can contact your local Home-Start to enquire about getting support.

Newbabies15 Sat 22-Sep-18 21:47:26

Don't panic. You will get through it. Do what you can and get help when you can. It will all be worth it. Congratulations

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