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Twins and a Toddler- I'm going to die aren't I?(16 Posts)
I've recently discovered I'm expecting twins. My daughter will be two by the time they come. At the moment I am struggling to get my head round it. How do people survive?! What cars fit three baby seats? What pram? How on earth do you keep a two year old happy in the meantime?
You’ll be fine! I’m also expecting twins (9 weeks left eeek) and by the time they arrive my children will be just turned 2, 4 and 5.
Pram - Get a double that takes a buggy board with a seat, or sling a baby.
Car - you’d be surprised how many take 3 car seats once you start looking.
It will all seem totally over whelming right now but it helps once the ball is moving and things start getting organised.
Until then repeat ‘I will be fine’ over and over Good luck OP! Not much actual advice to give but I wanted you to know you aren’t alone.
I survived it and you will too! It will be really difficult I won't lie but you will be ok and twins are amazing.
I'm the eldest and my twin siblings are 20 months younger. I'm sure it was tough for my parents but we're all so close now and had a fantastic childhood playing together so it will be worth it! Good luck!
With the mantra, at least it’s not triplets. At least it’s not triplets. Zafira can take three car seats. Get a pram with a buggy board. Good luck!
Thank you so much for the reassurance and tips! I'm just a bit horrified at the moment and it's not helping that I've got morning sickness and crazy tiredness. Are TAMBA any good? There's a twins NCT class I could go to, did anybody do that?
Congratulations! My twins are my first children so I don't have a toddler but twins are amazing
Tamba are def worth joining, there is a twin line you can call which I know others have benefitted from, advice is good and you get discounts!
I didn't do twin specific nct course as wasn't local but you can see if there is a local twins group in your area?
My eldest was 26 months when the triplets were born . I think having an older one you are at an advantage knowing what babies need .You will cope and they thrive. I joined Tamba and appreciated the online support etc but found the meet ups too stressful when mine were very small , much better when they were older.My Mum helped hugely and gave me the opportunity to take my eldest out on her own one day a week which was really helpful . I worried about all of them losing out somehow because I was spread so thin .They are young adults now , all very close and nice people .It will be fine .
Congratulations! My older son was 18.5 months old when my twins were born.
The first year was a whirlwind but we survived! My DH was super with him and would take him out loads for special trips. He watched far more Peppa Pig than I’d care to admit in those early months but it kept us all relatively sane.
I’ve heard TAMBA and SureStart are good; I’m not in the UK and our TAMBA equivalent is pretty rubbish for real-life support.
We live 3 hours away from my family and my PILs are elderly so we mostly muddled through alone. My mum and sister did come to stay at various points though and they cooked dinners, played with the toddler, jiggled a fussy baby, whatever it took to give me a bit of a dig out.
Mine are 4 and 2.5 now. It’s relentless but it is getting easier every week.
Tbh I found the end of the pregnancy the hardest part, I was so big and uncomfortable that taking care of my toddler was a struggle.
I felt hugely guilty that I was about to turn his whole world upside down but now he’s great friends with his brothers and he never remembers a time when they weren’t here!
Best of luck
You won't die. You'll think you might at times, but it'll pass. My oldest was just under 2.5 when my twins arrived. It was possibly the hardest time of my life, but it quickly got easier, and now, 2.5 years later, they're all (mostly) a joy.
Definitely join TAMBA. And if you're on Facebook, there's a group called Britain's Parents of Twins that's good for advice.
As for prams, I got an Uppababy Vista. It's a beast of a thing (most doubles are) but fitted a buggy board.
My Nan had a 20 month old then twins then another baby 15 months later. No washing machine or car or nearby family. She always said the dog was a big help!
You’ll be fine. My twins are numbers 4 and 5. It was a busy period but we coped - just as you will.
My twins were my first, the benefit of being a mum before would have helped greatly. You'll find it tough but you will all survive.
My grandmother's twins were numbers 10 &11. She had no idea it was twins until after the first one was born!
Thank you so much for the replies. It's interesting to hear the long view and that things will get easier!
18 months between DD1 and twins here. Looking back I find it hard to believe we coped, but we did, somehow. We had a Ford Galaxy, which fit 3 car seats in the back comfortably (the difficulty is if you have to have 3 stage 1 seats at the same time, when the Zafiras etc at the time weren't bit enough - they may be now).
I had a double buggy and a sling and DD1 walked a fair bit more than most kids as the twins got bigger.
We had a cleaner when they were little - definitely worth it if you're in a position to do it, even if it's just for that first year or so.
Try to get your 2 year old used to some of the things that might happen when the babies are there (e.g. spending time with other people if s/he's not used to doing so and that's going to happen). DD had her main meal at lunchtime (because teatime was given over to colic and I could just about make her some toast one-handed). Think about your child's routine and what's going to be possible/helpful. My DD would nap for 2 hours every afternoon, but only in her cot at home, which often made for very teasy babies (though the 2 hours was a godsend in pregnancy!).
On the plus side, my kids are 10 and 9 now and it's great fun most of the time (and has been for several years). The first year or so was very difficult, but we came out the other side of the baby stage quicker than most people, and there are loads of advantages to your children being close in age to each other. I wouldn't change it!
You'll be fine! I did it the other way around, the twins were 25 months old when the baby came. It's a lot of work but really lovely to have them all close together in age. Ours are such a cute little gang now and play really well together
between fighting over princess dresses.
Survival: don't be shy to accept help when it's offered. Give Home Start a call. They are a charity dedicated to helping families swamped with under-5s.
Car: We have an Smax. It's brilliant. 3 full size seats with 3 isofix points across the middle (fits our three ginormous kiddy seats) and two flip-up seats in the back for when the grandparents visit.
Pram: We had the Donkey, which was a godsend. Bought it secondhand for 700, used it for 4 years and 3 kids, then sold it on for 550, so even though the initial outlay is a lot, they're a bargain in the long run in my opinion. Footprint of a wheelchair, so it fits through doors, lifts, on buses, etc. You can get a buggy board and even a seat attachment to go on it for the toddler. Fits in the Smax boot even with the back two seats up.
I kept mine happy by going to local playgroups. Get out of the house every day if you can; it feels like a huge task, but it takes up time (which can drag with that many small kids at home) and will improve everyone's mood. I found there were almost always old ladies at church groups who saw I was overwhelmed with 3 under 3 and offered to hold one of your babies (to which I learned to always answer in the affirmative ).
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