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Just had 12wk scan, its twins! Will have 4 under 5, please tell me it will be ok....

(13 Posts)
WeasleyWoman Tue 21-Nov-17 12:39:17

Just that really. Total shock, had to convince DP to try for number 3 but we are both v happy I'm pregnant. Twins is a massive curve ball. I have a million questions: guess I can't have a water birth now? Where do newborn twins sleep? Had a bed nest last time do I just buy another and stick them both on the side of the bed? Can they sleep together? How on earth do we afford this....etc....

moggle Wed 22-Nov-17 14:09:02

Eekers! We're going from 1 to 3 rather than 2 to 4 but I had many similar worries relating to comparing baby twins to how DD was.

You may not be able to have a water birth due to needing to be monitored, and a C section is more likely, but around 40% of twins are born naturally so it's by no means a given. If your other 2 came naturally there's a really good chance the twins will too. I BF DD and again was a bit fixated on this but I'm on some useful FB groups and can see that plenty of people manage to BF twins.

We had a bednest for DD, we are using a cot this time with the side off and attaching it to the bed and putting both in there to start with. DH did offer to have a bednest on his side too! but everything I've read says they are usually fine to sleep together at the start and some stay in the same cot / bed for a long time, and it can help them sleep better than singletons (haha we can only hope!)

As for affording them... depends on your situation. We actually can't really afford childcare for them the same way we did with DD (in nursery 2 full days from 11m), and I'm probably going to be giving up work. But in terms of actual stuff for them it probably depends on all your kids' sexes and how much you care about things being new! We've got virtually everything secondhand, even an extra car seat from a trusted friend. Ours are both boys, and friends are offering us bags of clothes for them, I don't think we'll have to buy much.

Lets be honest it is going to be different! but I think when you've done it once or twice before you do have an advantage once the shock has worn off, as I think you have already got the first time mum stuff out of your system and also aren't so focused on proving you're a good mum, I am personally biting off every hand that offers help before they can even say "I could do...". My mum's coming to stay for a couple of weeks (which I would've hated with DD!) and a couple of aunts have offered too, friends have offered to take DD on days out etc.

How old are your others? I was just glad that we didn't need a triple buggy!! (DD just turned 3 and is finally walking reasonable distances...)

hopingforsleep Thu 23-Nov-17 14:20:03

We had a babybay maxi which attached to the bed and they shared for about 5 months or so (mine were big for twins, I know others who have managed it for longer) and then shared a cot bed for a few more months before moving to their own cot beds. Have you got a local twins group? Ours has a very active Facebook group which is amazing for buying second hand kit (and then selling on once you're finished with it)

Jedbartletforpresident Thu 23-Nov-17 14:31:48

I did this! DS was 5 and DD1 was just short of 3 when DTs were born.

We live in a different part of the Uk from both our families and have no real support here. My aunt lives about 5 hours drive away and brilliantly came to stay Mon-Fri for the first 4 weeks and after that we were on our own.

DTs were born at 35 weeks by emcs and I was in hospital for 5 days. I then went home and they stayed in NNU for another 2 weeks. A week after the DTs came home I was able to drive again (having them in NNU was awful, BUT, on the upside I recovered so much quicker from the cs by being in my own bed at night getting a full night's sleep and no babies to look after.), and at that point my aunt returned to her own life (we were unbeliveably thankful for her help) and we were on our own.

DS had started p1 (reception year) the day before DTs were born and we had no choice but to get on with things. It was hard - not going to lie - but, one of my proudest achievements of my entire life is that during that first year DS was always on time for school, always had his uniform on, packed lunch made and homework done. I might not have achieved much else but I held things together and we got there!

DTs are now 7 and life is so much fun! They are the best of friends and I wouldn't change anything.

I KNOW how scary it is at first but I promise it's not anywhere near as bad as people will say it is - you CAN do it and you WILL be fine!

WeasleyWoman Sat 25-Nov-17 08:07:53

Thank you! It is good to hear some positives. DS will be 4 in march in DD 2 so it will be 4 under 5! It will be nice that I am on Mat leave when DS starts school as I'm a teacher and so would get no time off for early pick ups, or meet the teacher days etc!
I think plan will be double buggy with a sling so if DD is too tired to walk I have options.

ZigZagandDustin Sat 25-Nov-17 08:11:38

Congratulations! Eek! It better be fine because I'll have 4 under 5 in 8 weeks. No twins though!

I think you'll just get on with it. And grow a thick skin! My 3 already run me utterly 100% ragged so I don't see 4 as making any difference. There's nothing bigger than 100%! 😅

Crumbs1 Sat 25-Nov-17 08:19:44

You’ll manage. It’s hard in the early days but it gets easier and there are undoubtedly huge joys that come with twins too.
Efficiency is key. Reduce non essential tasks to absolute minimum. Reduce amount of clutter in house. They’ll live very well on simple meals - mine had plain pasta, vegetable sticks and grated cheeses frequently (and loved it).
Get in help if you can - a reliable family member, a paid person, a recently retired neighbour to give you time for a bath or to allow time for older ones.
Do a two or three week menu. Set up online shops for each. Then just ping delivery time each week for the week ahead. Do this pre twins arrival.
Swap cars now, if necessary so you are confident driving a bigger car before you are very pregnant or have two new babies.

MadhousMom59 Sat 25-Nov-17 21:44:02

Hi. After having 7 beautiful sons I decided to make it eight. Then stop. But I became pregnant with twins.I was shocked but happy.I went on to have a normal delivery and also had my first daughter. It was hard having 2 new babies but I got on with it. at the time I was working, looking after my 9 children and caring for my ill father. But they were the best days of my life. smile And don't regret a moment of it. I'm now full time guardian to my grandson who is 10 yrs old. With 22 grandchildren. I love Christmas in my house.xx

WeasleyWoman Sun 26-Nov-17 17:37:24

Wow! 9 children and 22 grandchildren! Amazing!

PizzaPizzaPizza Wed 06-Dec-17 12:51:34

Congratulations!

We are going from 3 to 5, DC1 will turn 5 a few weeks before the twins arrive, if all goes to plan.

I’m only 25 weeks currently so can’t advice, I just wanted to wish you all the best smile

Woodenhillmum Thu 07-Dec-17 22:20:47

I had triplets when my first child just turned 2 . It was hard work but there are lots of positives too .We went through all the “phases “ much faster than most families with 4 kids, trips / outings clubs etc were suitable for most and not repeated for decades .Usually everyone got along. I could get back to work faster .Definitely more expensive / exhausting but we just adapted the approach we were doing our best and lived with in our means .Everyone survived ! Now I have 4 young adults who are at uni and 1 at college , good luck !

willisurvive3under2 Sun 10-Dec-17 23:24:33

Congratulations!

I have no advice as I'm expecting DTs and have a young DS. Will have 3 under 2! I had a huge panic at first and now I'm looking forward to it. It will be mad but we know the ropes and it's an efficient way to have a bigger family wink

Good luck!

MyWhatICallNameChange Sun 10-Dec-17 23:32:54

Congratulations! I had my DTs when DC1 was 5 and DC2 was 2. It was exhausting! But also amazing, seeing how they interacted together as they grew up. They slept in a cot together as they hated separate Moses baskets. In fact they slept together till they were about 10, despite having bunk beds!

They were born at 35 weeks and spent 10 days in SCBU, just to get feeding established. I breastfed them for 9 months in the end.

I used to have a sling to carry one and put DC2 in the buggy if he was tired (I tried him in the sling once, but he was too heavy for my poor back!)

Mine are 13 now and taller than me! I miss them being small, but do like that I get lots of sleep now! grin

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